Prelude: I overdid it last week because HELLO I AM FUCKING SUPERWOMAN, and also because I actually forget and…
Fuck you, Marlin. Fuck you sideways…
My first FB update. Sometime between 8.30 and 9.30am, sending subliminal messages to MPS while he was out with Boo at swimming lessons.
Exhibit one.
Picture of my softest wonderful doona cover and a cheeky dimple from Boo. Missing: donuts.
Fuck Kate Gosselin is a twat. But I bet that bitch gets donuts.
2 hours later.
Same picture but cropped to look different. Lazy…
Missing: Donuts.
Rinse repeat for hours and hours and I shall save you the finger scrolls by not posting more pics of my OMGSOSOFTILOVEITSO bedding.
HUZZAH! SHE RISES!
To sit on the couch under a doona to watch a movie. With Johnny Depp. Which was a little bit shit.
(To clarify: The movie starred Johnny Depp. I watched it with MPS. Who, in the right light and if you squint a little, looks nothing like Johnny Depp.)
Missing from pic: Donuts.
Then, finally, after hours and hours of pointing out the medicinal properties of a chocolate iced jam donut…
I gobbled that shit up like a supermodel at the end of a runway and then went to bed.
Sunday I arose bright and perky and slightly pain hungover but was not about to let that deter me as IT IS RESPITE DAY LETS GET SHIT DONE MOTHERFUCKERS!
Clean the house before the respite worker comes lest he notice that people actually live here!
Brunch!
Officeworks, Bunnings and electrical stores!
When the respite 2 hours was up, we swung by and picked up Boo to join eighty-four million other parents squeezing in back to school, grocery, Bastille Day celebrations shopping!
When we returned and the clothes were tried on and shopping put away, it was back on the couch unable to move with back to school shit to do and unwashed fucking hair for work tomorrow.
Oh Nemo. You never learn.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
So glad you eventually got your donut !!!! I was thinking it wasn’t going to happen at the beginning of your post !
I think you should teach my husband how to shop so quickly – he loves strolling around the shops and I just want to get in and get out and back home !!!
Have the best week you can and I hope that you are relatively pain free today.
Me xox
I’m also relieved she got the donut!!
now I want another one.
That day in bed looks divine. I might have to replicate that – minus the pure white doona cover. Not even the small amount of white on mine is remotely whitish any more.
if it wasn’t for bleach, neither would mine. MPS sweats like a fucking racehorse.
Mmmmmm…….donuts……. I’m drooling like Homer Simpson.
My tv remote looks EXACTLY like yours, they must be a universal style!
totally is. Alas I only know how to turn the tv on and change the channel and the volume… fuck knows what MPS has programmed the other buttons to do…
After all that pain and hinting you got one donut? ONE? Tsk Tsk, should have been at least two.
I don’t like the jam ones so much, I prefer the custard filling.
I LOVE Officeworks and could probably spend a whole day just browsing the aisles.
Sah jealous of your bastille day celebrations. You better invite me to your thanksgiving or I’m cracking skulls.
you commented on the wrong post.
dickhead.
Good thing I adore you.
“When the respite 2 hours was up, we swung by and picked up Boo to join eighty-four million other parents squeezing in back to school, grocery, Bastille Day celebrations shopping!”
BITE ME, ASSHOLE.