This morning I hit a cow.
Well, technically, the cow hit my car.
Driving along the highway at the designated speed limit of 110, all of a sudden a fog descends in a valley of the road and like a fucking NIGHTMARE out of the fog runs a brown cow.
Technically, a brown and white cow whatever the fuck they are called cause who CARES cause it is running on the HIGHWAY, heading straight for me.
Thankfully there were no cars beside or behind me and I was able to pull some epic defensive driving moves and slam on my brakes and swerve out of his way.
Until he ran in the same damn direction as I was swerving.
And he clipped the side of my car.
Superficial damage, everyone fine, cow not so much.
Missed his friend bringing up the rear by centimetres.
After pulling over I could see the carnage behind me.
Hazard lights blinking through the fog.
As I drove away to get Boo to school (he was getting extremely agitated and worrying about the cow and I couldn’t risk him getting out of the car to go and check) and go to the Police Station to give a statement, I consoled myself with thinking that my actions would have slowed the cow and the other cars down and hopefully prevented a worse situation.
That instead of killing a cow
or it going through our windshield and killing us both omgomgomgomg I helped in some way.
Stopped something even worse happening.
That it is not my fault.
That my fortune – only clipping the cow and not lalalalalala don’t want to think about it – didn’t mean someone elses misfortune.
Except for the poor cow. That is a given.
But maybe I managed to stun it when it slammed into my car and took out the bumper and the side mirror… knock it out maybe and then it didn’t feel the impact from those coming up behind me.
And the black one after it ran off into the bush.
Yeah. That is what happened.
I am like a fucking HERO.
Do you lie to yourself like this to cope with a scary or awful situation?
UPDATED TO ADD:
Apparently I AM a hero. I was the only one to hit that particular cow and the black one did run off into the bush and is alive and well.
His friend not so much. I hope it was swift and relatively painless so I can wear my fabulous leather boots without guilt.
Lies.Magnetoboldtoo is sponsored by: