Alternative Alternative title: Who the fuck owns all of those toothbrushes?
Certainly not me. Mine is in hiding.
So, in order to get a correct and accurate diagnosis for my imaginary illness* everything else needs to be ruled out.
In addition to the EIGHT FUCKING VIALS of blood taken, I have to collect my pee for 24 hours in a washed out milk/juice jug to measure my cortisol levels to rule out this thing.
On both counts.
I have never ever been so aware of how much I drink and the state of my pelvic floor muscles.**
HOT TIP: If you really need to pee you will need to fill that damn fucking cup numerous times meaning you will have to EMPTY said fucking cup NUMEROUS TIMES and it is probably a good idea to have the jug you are filling within reaching distance and not on the other side of the room.
NOTE TO SELF: Mop the floor.
* still waiting for the sarcasm font.
** they are Olympic ready BOW CHICKA BOW BOW