Alternative Alternative title: Who the fuck owns all of those toothbrushes?
Certainly not me. Mine is in hiding.
So, in order to get a correct and accurate diagnosis for my imaginary illness* everything else needs to be ruled out.
In addition to the EIGHT FUCKING VIALS of blood taken, I have to collect my pee for 24 hours in a washed out milk/juice jug to measure my cortisol levels to rule out this thing.
Nasty.
On both counts.
I have never ever been so aware of how much I drink and the state of my pelvic floor muscles.**
HOT TIP: If you really need to pee you will need to fill that damn fucking cup numerous times meaning you will have to EMPTY said fucking cup NUMEROUS TIMES and it is probably a good idea to have the jug you are filling within reaching distance and not on the other side of the room.
NOTE TO SELF: Mop the floor.
* still waiting for the sarcasm font.
** they are Olympic ready BOW CHICKA BOW BOW
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
forget the cup. Put the funnel in the bottle and squat over that. Have it next to the toilet so you can hold onto that for balance getting up and down. Then you just have to rinse the funnel.
Alternatively pee in a bucket, a clean bucket, not that one you used to toss fertiliser on the garden….. and pour that into the big bottle. Saves all that pee, stop, empty cup, pee, stop, empty cup….
On the other hand, frequent stopping while peeing is great for bladder control and the pelvic floor muscles.
I thought about peeing directly in, but then had visions of slipping and spilling and OH THE HORROR!
It’s better than collecting your shit and putting that in a container I did that once for a week and then had to drop off all the containers at the lab I felt so sorry for the person who had to look and smell it.I hope this helps you get a good diagnosis I am off to the rhemalogist soon I hope she sorts me out ASAP or I don’t know what’s going to become of me!
OMG.
I didn’t think of that.
Collecting your shit would be the WORST! Good luck at the rheumatologist. I hope they are as nice as mine.
I worked as the person who dealt with the pees and poops at the other end. For a little while, while I was at uni. You get used to it. You don’t even think of it as pees and poops. You just want to see what grows.
And I bet I have seen and smelled worse than what you handed in!
I was surprised that there was no pee smell. I guess it is cause I kept it in the fridge. Or perhaps cause I have a teenage boy and now I am immune to body smells. Heh.
I’ve filled a couple of those over the years, not fun. I did however enjoy getting Mr Grumpy to carry my big bottle of pee to the pathology place. That’s love right there.
I do hope it gets you answers. No answers but feeling like utter crap is never a good place to be. xx
Damn, I should have got MPS to drop the damn thing off.
There was a LINE OF PEOPLE when I got there. So I had to stand and wait with my heavy bottle of urine.
I remember collecting my pee every day for the last two months of my second pregnancy to monitor pre-eclampsia. Gross – and we are just not designed to pee into a cup (not to mention that my cup definitely needed to be supersized). I used an ice-cream container in the end after getting tired of peeing on my watch, hand, undies, running down my legs, toilet seat…
Ohhh … I hope it’s not Cushings. My last dog had that and it wasn’t pretty and very tricky to treat. I didn’t know that people could get it as well – or perhaps you are a werewolf.
If you have fibromyalgia, they may not be able to find anything, which I know is going to be so frustrating. That’s the trouble with these auto-immune things. My guy has chronic Lyme Disease, which also apparently doesn’t exist. The prevailing theory is that you contract Lyme, they zap you with high doses of anti-biotics and hey presto, you are cured. The trouble is that 15% of people aren’t cured at all and still exhibit the Lyme symptoms. The medical response to that is to call them malingerers and label them as such. It’s awful to see him suffer so and get the cold shoulder from the very people who ought to be treating him, just because they don’t know what they are dealing with and it’s easier to blame the patient than admit their knowledge is lacking. Hippocratic oath my arse.
I totally had to do this for72 hours afterI had my son because I was borderline pre-ecclampsia and my kidneys had started to not do their job properly.
I used a chinese container because they have sharper corners meant less spills
My doc is just ruling out everything else but is pretty sure that it is fibromyalgia.
Cushings sounds terrifying.
One of the housewives, Yolanda, of Real Housewives of Beverly Hill is getting over Lyme Disease. She went through hell. I know that many believe that Lyme Disease doesn’t exist in Australia but how can anyone be sure of that when so many are exhibiting symptoms. And then there is the ‘cure’ belief. I hope your guy finds a good EDUCATED doc to help him.
Oy. That’s a whole lot of peeing. However, I really hope this test will provide some answers for you!
It totes was.
But I only filled half!
After all that blood removal, they’ll probably find that you are anaemic.
Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa! Probably.
I hate having to pee into containers for tests, blech!
Hope I never have to do it again! I have done the little yellow screw top jar thing numerous times but not fill a damn jug.
I refused to do a pee test at the gp once when they gave me the teeniest little drink cup type container. I tried explaining that it just wouldn’t be possible not to make a mess everywhere but they didn’t get it. So they didn’t get it
I love it when they say ‘just let a little bit out first before going in the jar’ BITCH PLEASE, do I look like a circus performer?
Seriously, you’d think there would be a goddamn sarcasm font by now. I mean, how many friggin years have we had the internet now?!