We moved into the current MB2 abode in August 2006.
And since September 2006 I have been trying to kill this fucking plant that has been slowly over taking my garden and strangling the shit that I WANT there.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know how to kill shit. I killed MINT forfuckssake.
And we had lillies and ivy and blackberries in the yard and I have managed to fuck off all but the blackberries, and they are under control.
When under control means behind a tree so I don’t notice them and they annoy the shit out of the back neighbour. Heh.
But this bastard has me flummoxed.
We have dug it out 4 times.
Sprayed it with Roundup. Straight.
Dug it up and then poured Roundup in the holes.
And then sump oil.
Bought some heavy duty weed killer that the lawn guy guaranteed would kill EVERYTHING and it is back bigger than ever and further down the garden.
It is like this stuff LOVES poison.
It is all ‘I fucking LOVE THIS SHIT, gimmie more’ while slapping a plant vein.
And I just want to weep every time I see this:
This is the start of these massive fucking SPIKES that it throws out that are sticky and SPIKEY and fucking HURTY and if you walk to close the fucker gets all up in your hair and are like 5 foot fucking tall.
I hate this thing with all of my being.
If my nemesis was a plant, it would be this thing.
If it wasn’t so close to the fence I would set fire to the fucker and dance on the smouldering embers.
So, dear friends, please give me a name for my enemy and for the love of gah HOW DO I KILL IT?
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