I do everything for everyone!
All I seem to do is care for everyone else and WHAT ABOUT ME?
OMG my family is so UNGRATEFUL for everything that I do for them.
I work my fingers to the bone and no one ever says thankyou, they just EXPECT IT!
These are variations of exclamations I see every single day on facebook.*
(reason number four hundred and six of why I fucking hate facebook)
Listen chickies, pull up a pew and here is a glass of wine and let me reach over and pull up your motherfucking big girl panties for you.
I KNOW no one told you that this is what motherhood is about.
I KNOW it is so unfair that you haven’t had a quiet bowel movement since you pushed that kid out of your coochie.
IT SUCKS, but this is what you signed up for when you decided to reproduce.
Kids are ungrateful because you are doing your job.
Your family doesn’t appreciate you because you are doing your job.
You have no time for you because YOU ARE DOING YOUR JOB.
Being a mum is a tough gig, and believe me mothers of toddlers you don’t know pain until you have teenagers.
And those teenagers leave home and you have NO ONE TO DO SHIT FOR.
Yeah, it would be nice to be thanked every now and then. Maybe someone take the washing off the line without having to resort to threatening to cut off the internet, or GAH FORBID someone make you a cuppa without you asking, or pick up their motherfucking towels off the motherfucking floor howmanytimesdoIhavetoaskyouOMG?!?!
In the meantime be a good mum, suck it up and pour yourself a glass of whatever floats your boat when you get those ungrateful little shits into their clean beds, wearing their clean pj’s, with their full bellies and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
You are doing a fabulous job evidenced by your lack of privacy, me time and Thank You Mum parades.
And for the love of Gah there are more important things to complain about. Like who ate all the ends of the brownie and why the washing machine keeps shrinking all my underwear…
*to be clear, I have 3 facebook accounts: one for internet friends, one for the blog page and one for people IRL that think that I have no idea how to turn on a computer let alone do a google search. This is aimed at all of them. And you, if you think it is.