When I was a kid my grandparents got a video player.
It was like fucking witchcraft that thing. No-one had ever seen anything like it. It played movies WHEN YOU WANTED TO and there were no stupid arsed commercials or anything.
Awesome voodoo shit.
And because he got it from overseas, we were very limited in what we could watch.
Limited to what my grandfather’s
mistress secretary was able to find, in the back streets of Manila.
So gems like Halloween, When a Stranger Calls and The Postman Always Rings Twice were our sleepover staples.
And my all time favourite, History Of the World Part 1.
Behold! The French Revolution.
I urge you to watch the whole movie. Brilliant in its ridiculousness.
So in honour of the wheezing scum from the streets of Paris and King Louis, I give you Chateau De Bold’s Bastille Day festival of food.
Brunch: Croissants. Pretty sure the ham and cheese is not technically French but it was fucking delicious. As were the strawberries.
Afternoon tea: Macarons and coffee.
Entree – French fries and aioli.
I for real LOST MY SHIT when I realised that aioli was French. If I knew that earlier I would have planned the entire menu around it. And probably smeared it all over my body.
I fucking love aioli.
Dinner: Baked Brie, Baguette and champagne.
waiting… might as well open the
champagne sparkling wine…
I was up to my elbows in cheese and jam. I would have motorboated that bitch but I am a lady… so I just sucked it out of my nails afterwards.
Femme la bouche.
I wish the French would revolt every damn day.
It’s good to be the King.