A month or so ago I received 2 Tefal Cook 4 Me cooker thingies for the purposes of disproving the theory that:
One: Husbands are idiots and can’t cook;
and Two: university students live on 2 minute noodles and 2am cheeseburgers cause they can’t cook.
Here is the first tale… it proved and disproved the first theory.
Words completely MPS’s own and do not reflect the awesomeness of the blogger.
The Time & word economic cooker story.
This is all true:
1) My dearly departed Mum cooked with a pressure cooker *all the time* . It suited Hungarian dishes …
2) This new Tefal cooker works on the same principals, but is a million times more modern than the cast iron thang that used to scare the shit of of my wife, &
3) I’ve cooked two meals with this thing and (once I worked out what I was doing), it was easy.
It had me at ‘Hello, I have a colour LCD display’, but nearly lost me with the manual (Mid term essay: Writing proper instructions is a long lost art. – discuss).
I am not a cook, and Kelley hates me asking questions about stuff she assumes I should know about, so I started cautiously. And stopped.
And then asked “What do I do next”.
OK: prepare the ingredients. This is the part they don’t tell you about when they say “meals in 15 minutes”. Apparently preparing is not cooking. That will save this season of MasterChef about 40 minutes per episode …
But I digress. This is me ‘preparing, but not cooking’:
1) I took a leek
2) Onion’s have layers – and so do leeks
3) Parmesan cheese tastes great, but smells like cat piss
4) All this is after about 45 minutes of not cooking …
The rest was easy – although some of the instructions are as obvious as advice on feeding a baby is to a new mother (It says feed her every 30 minutes, but it takes half an hour to feed, so – do I wait, or just keep feeding until she explodes?).
Spoiler: I worked it out. Here’s how it’s done:
1) I’m obviously slow at preparing
2) I thought that was the point …
3) Waiting …
4) Cooking starts *NOW*!
Take every piece of direction the display gives you literally.
But, when it says ‘Browning for two minutes’ – it’s expecting *you* to do the browning & timing, and then press ok when you’re finished.
(ed note: I actually think this is a GOOD thing. That way if it takes a little longer to make sure the food is cooked all the way through you don’t have to worry about getting out of synch with the machine)
After doing exactly what the machine told me to do (similar to wifely interactions), the meal cooked, and we ate it.
I’m proud to say I didn’t fuck up.
I like this device!
Post Script: The second time cooking, I shaved the preparation time considerably … so much so that when Kelley came in to see if I had finished preparing … the meal was ready!
Editors note: We have yet to cook anything but risotto because HELLO RISOTTO THAT DOESN’T NEED STIRRING and HELLO STRAPPED UP USELESS SHOULDER and it was fucking delicious.
And sure, the book promises 6 minute risotto and it was no where near 6 minutes but it saved a buttload of time and now MPS is psyched to try other recipes…
which is all part of my evil plan. Mwaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaa!
P.S. Don’t forget to tell MPS how awesome he is, there is a stroganoff in the book that I wouldn’t mind getting served up this week…