Finally home after dropping Boo off at school and an impromptu meeting with the school, yet again, (OMG WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THIS SHIT WHEN MPS WAS DESIGNATED DRIVER?!?!) I decided before anything I needed some caffeine in my system.
So I wandered into the kitchen to make one.
And that is when it all went to shit.
I noticed the tea towel was wet as the coffee machine was overflowing. I cleaned that shit up and took the tea towel to the laundry.
And put it in the machine. Filled the machine with towels and turned it on.
And then sorted the washing, emptied the dryer, reloaded the dryer cause teh ratfucksonofabitch thing hadn’t completely dried the underwear and NO ONE likes soggy underwear.
I quickly ran to the bathroom to see if there were any other towels to go in the machine and noticed that Boo had taken a shit and not flushed and there was toilet paper EVERYFUCKINGWHEREOMGWHY? and my hairbrush was sitting in a puddle on the floor. After fixing up the carnage and wiping down the sinks, I took a selfie of my new haircut and my stress related eye pimple and deemed my new haircut the worst haircut EVER and went and made my bed.
Emerging from our bedroom with an armful of clothes I thought best to check Boo’s bedroomS (yes, plural. Bastard has taken over the guest room and his own) and took a garbage bag and gas mask with me.
Rooms liberated of rubbish, clothes, shoes and various items NOT BELONGING TO YOU BOO OMG YOU DO NOT OWN THE WORLD, I opened the blinds and then heard the fan going in the other bathroom and what do you know, another toilet full of shit.
A cursory clean later, I am standing in the hall with a bag of rubbish, pair of thongs, one school shoe and a school uniform wondering what the fuck I was actually doing…
Oh yes, making a coffee.
I grabbed my cup from this morning, gave it a rinse, rinsed all the other dishes in the sink and cleaned off the benches.
Put away the bread, moved the mint to a sunny spot and as I was putting away the butter I spotted the milk.
Oh yes, a coffee.
I poured the milk and started heating it. I went into the loungeroom to open my laptop to download my emails so I could read while I was drinking my latte and then took the dishes into the kitchen… and went back to the lounge, picked up the rubbish on the floor, moved MPS’s laptop, dusted the ottoman, and then the TV and the sidetable, fluffed the pillows, put Boo’s toys back into his first bedroom and wiped handprints off the wall in the hallway.
As I was rinsing the cloth I wondered. What was I doing again?
Oh yes, a coffee.
And now, finally, I have my coffee.
And it is glorious.
Please tell me this happens to you too.