I have done fuck all today.
It started with me posting this on Instagram
and it really hasn’t got much better.
I have brushed my teeth and BB’d my face, chucked on some clothes and moved to the couch.
Completely.
Utterly.
Exhausted.
Yesterday I started my ‘leave the motherfucking house and finally accept PR opportunities’ mission by getting loved on by Target thanks to 360 Immerse. Seeing Boo is now in mens EXTRA GINORMOUS I was pleased to hear that Target are extending most of there regular mens line to 3XL. HUZZAH! More choice in clothes for Boo to snack on!*
The trip there was kinda stressful. When ‘kinda stressful’ equals MPS (my chauffeur) and I screaming at each other cause I was freaking the fuck out and in turn freaking him the fuck out. And we were late.
I don’t do late.
Anywho. Got there, had a ball and then went to Ikea.
IKEA.
I WENT TO IKEA!
*faints*
Hobbled out {I forgot to bring Roboboot as a back up. I also forgot to bring my calm the fuck down pills AND turn my straightener off so good thing my house didn’t burn down because I wouldn’t have had the pills to chill} with a steaming credit card and ALL OF THE THINGS!**
Awesomeness.
Swedish Meatballs? Not so much. Dunno what the fuss is about frankly.
Finally we got home after a looooooong drive {rinse and repeat above trip} and Boo was fine and MOTY didn’t lose her shit about looking after him for 2 hours and the house hadn’t burned down so I could finally come down from the emotional rollercoaster that was our day.
And now I need a day to recover.
Maybe next time I should host an event here in the once was Hogwarts Great Hall… have margarita and macaron goody bags*** and a competition to see who can go on the platform swing, fort slide and trampoline without spilling their drink.
Or emptying their bladder.
So. Who’s in? You know, AFTER I have had my nap.
* was not asked to blog about this event and was not paid to do so. I got a gift bag and was compensated for my travel expenses. WHICH WAS SO AWESOME. Other PR companies take heed.
** OK, calm down. Yes I am aware that MPS is not working and we have no money and I have whined about it and then I am all I BOUGHT ALL OF THE THINGS at Ikea. I didn’t. I bought a few things. But saying that just ruins the excitement of saying I went to Ikea. Fuck you for ruining my excitement.
*** BYO margaritas and macarons. I am too poor to just give away that shit. I spent all my money on Christmas decorations and utensils at Ikea.
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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Dying to see that Hogwart’s Great Hall – count me in!
You survived Target and Ikea in one day – awesome!
xx
Fuck anyone who judges you for IKEA, champers or macroons.
Xx
I’m really happy that you are venturing out and having some fun.
A flight to Sydney in mid December should be your next step. It’s therapy. Medicare will pay.
Our trips to IKEA currently entail a 5 hour drive each way and a uHaul van.
<3 <3 <3 IKEA!
When I get back to Sydney, it is a ten minute drive from my house. They opened it while I have been here and saw it for the first time when home last Christmas. Every time I would drive past it I would be completely overcome with the "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" being sung by archangels in my head and involuntarily start switching lanes towards it. This was accompanied with screaming and abuse from whichever demon child I had in the car with me at the time.
It's all those goddamned flags, I swear.
A flight to Sydney to see you is in my top ten things to do when I win the lottery tonight.
Love your face off.
I always forget to hit the subscribe to updates button. *hitting button*
You come to my house and I cook you real Swedish meatballs. Ja?
Ikea’s meatballs are crap. And I would marry Ikea if I could.
Agreeing with everything in this comment. All of it.
The swedish meatballs are only good because they’re cheap! I’m going to Ikea tomorrow and I’m so excited, like, cartwheel excited.
Glad to hear you got your ass out to an event, and so you SHOULD kick back and be a lazy hag today.
And I’M IN!
Did I mention I have a slurpee maker?
Margarita slurpies OH MY FREAKING GOD YES!
You’re a better man than me Gunga Din. I can only do Target OR Ikea in one day. Because here in Adelaide they are so damn far apart and the buses are impossible. I’ve never yet had the Ikea meatballs and probably never will.
Hi River,
Just letting you know there’s a Target at Fulham Gardens about 10 minutes from Ikea.
The Ikea meatballs are ok, my youngest one loves them she always goes overboard, when ever we get to Ikea, which is not very often Thank God!!!!
IKEA Champers and Macaroons – I am so freaking in on that! BYO no probs! x
You survived Target and Ikea in one day? No wonder why you need a full day to recover! I’d be exhausted too!
Feeling not so hungry any more after seeing those Swedish meatballs I’ve heard so many raves about. Ewww, much?!
Look at the sauce that the guy just slopped in… All congealed and shit. And the balls? Just fucking mince. Meh to the power of 12
I am in. I am epic fail at macarons, even the Zumbo ones were a huge fail
But tequila I can do!
I have a love/ hate thing going on with Ikea. I can hear its siren call right now but I am ignoring it lest I be dragged down into its murky novelty icecube tray, cheap paper napkin and snuuuurrgen juurgen bloord naarj filled waters…
I am totally up for that party and I am telling you I’m going to whip everyone’s butts because this is shit we’re trained for as youngin’s where I’m from. ;P
You deserved a day out from under the doona.
I’ll bring the macarons if I ever get to bake them , got to go to neighbours to use a proper oven.
I am 400+ kms from IKEA , I stayed with my friend who lives within spitting distance from TEMPE store but I had no time to go *sob*
I LOVE Ikea. Saddest day of my life so far (ok, not saddest, but as you say, ruins the drama) was when I left working at the chain bookstore where Ikea was and could no longer go whenever I pleased. One of the best things about working down the shopping aisle from an Ikea was their $1 hotdogs. I ate way too many of those things on way too many days before pay day.
Now they are building an Ikea about 15 mins from where I live and I am trying hard to not get too excited and maintain my outrage at the fact the motherfucking town planners are doing NOTHING in regard to upgrading the road around where they are building it, which is a carpark at the best of times (even non-peak) let alone adding in a thousand Ikea-mad shoppers to the mix.