So today I bought some new clothes (thank you Target and Big W, cause I ain’t dropping no serious coin on this fat arse*) to wear when I go back to work next month.
Can you BELIVE it has been a motherfucking YEAR since I went on leave?
So some even fatter fat clothes were purchased.
Which KILLED me cause the whole idea of this time off was to get my noggin in some sort of working order and slim my fat, non smoking, stroke addled, nomming on all the shit arse down. And all I managed to do was gain the weight of a small child around my abdomen and reduce my IQ to the single digits, trying to cope with the constant diarrhoea shower I have been enduring for the
past year years decade for a damn long time.
Silver lining: Imagine if I had to cope with the arsehats at work AS WELL?!
Of course now I am making lists like a madwoman and compiling lists of the lists and making folders on the laptop to store said lists and then putting reminders in my phone to check the lists and also to store more lists in case the laptop dies.
Note to self: Put back up the laptop on the list.
And backup the blog.
Fuck it. Make another list about all the things that need to be backed up and then back up that list with another list on your phone.
Needless to say I am freaking out at the prospect of returning to work, because to say that my workmates were fucking bitches about my issues after the stroke and the whole clusterfuck that happened in December** is putting it mildly.
Hence the lists. To regain some control over my mile a minute OH LOOK SOMETHING SHINY what was I doing again brain.
And today I started exercising again. You know, for the endorphins.
And so I don’t kill anyone with all this pent up rage.
RoboBoot came off a couple of days ago – still need to wear it if I am going out or walking for an extended period – but most of that time the fucker is chucked in the back bedroom to be snarled at on my way to the loo.
So hopefully, in the last few weeks before my return to work – don’t ask me the date cause I can’t remember and I need to find the letter I got cause I LOST ALL THE EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE WITH MY MANAGER WHEN MY LAPTOP DIED OMG OMG OMG WHEN WILL THE HORROR STOP OF REMEMBERING EVERYTHING I LOST ON THAT DAMN COMPUTER BACK YOUR SHIT UP PEOPLE!!!! – I will be able to get myself in some sort of routine.
One that at least sees me brushing my teeth and hair before 11am.
And wearing pants.
*my fat arse bought those clothes with my own fat arsed money. I am just saying where I got them cause they were cheap.
**for those playing along at home mark Boo losing his disability funding due to some fucking incompetent arsehole, workmates being fuckers and ending up in hospital with burst ovaries and a slipped disc on your Bingo Cards