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I need you to put your detective hats on while I go and rock in this corner with a mouthful of bleach.

by Kelley

in Autism, oh the horror, WTF?

this scene greeted me when I went into the bathroom to use the facilities…

A gun.  Two toothbrushes.  Toothpaste.

AND A TAPE MEASURE.

I am baffled.

And a little terrified.

Can you see why?

…

THAT IS MY MOTHERFUCKING TOOTHBRUSH!

So, lovely little stalkers, do you know WHY this fills me with dread and makes bile rise in my throat?

Maybe my brush wasn’t CLEANSING enough and that is why he needed to open a new one?

But that still doesn’t answer the riddle of the tape measure…

 

EDITED TO ADD:  the backstory… here and here.

*washes mouth out with a bottle of tequila*

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Nicole McLachlan November 6, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Get. A. New. Toothbrush. Quickly.

Reply

2 What is a name anyway? November 6, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Onomatopeia.

Reply

3 Kate @ UpsideBackwards November 6, 2012 at 5:42 pm

… and a new tape measure. Just to be certain.

Reply

4 Jo November 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Lol!

Reply

5 Glowless November 6, 2012 at 5:51 pm

You don’t want to know. Trust me. But new toothbrush in a locked cupboard is the way to go.

Reply

6 Josefa @always Josefa November 6, 2012 at 5:58 pm

i’m a little worried for you
many things pop to mind, nothing i can write though 😉
and for the love of god – can people leave other people’s tooth brushes alone!
i had to use the batman tooth brush today – because mine was gone AGAIN

Reply

7 Liz November 6, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Measuring the length of the bristles (two for comparison), so that the approximate amount of toothpaste applications per tube can be calculated by estimating the weight of each application per ‘serve/use’ as indicated on the packaging, and then dividing that into the net weight of the tube in order to work out what the length of a fully squeezed tube of toothpaste, without actually squeezing the tube.

Yep, pretty sure that’s it. And water guns are just fun for all occasions.

Reply

8 Salz November 6, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Oh god that is tragic. I hope you find the culprit and get to the bottom of this.

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9 Insane Jane November 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Nice pun! Not sure if it was intended but clever anyway.

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10 Salz November 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

😉 lol

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11 river November 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

What Liz said, as for the gun, if it is a water pistol, it could be used as a water jet, like the dentists use for those between teeth and around the gum line areas.
Also, buy a new toothbrush immediately.

Reply

12 SarahMac November 6, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Oh gosh I don’t know the whole story but I’m guessing it is MAJOR GROSSOUT MATERIAL! The mind boggles.

Reply

13 Jo November 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm

You should possibly keep your toothbrush on your person at all times and leave a decoy one in the bathroom?

Reply

14 Veronicali November 7, 2012 at 9:26 am

Yes! Decoy brush.

Reply

15 SarahMac November 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Oh urrrrrgggghhh! I’ve read the backstory now….the horror. You need new EVERYTHING, STAT!

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16 Amanda November 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Noooo – not good. New toothbrush time.

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17 Kelly @ HT and T November 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

My god I hope you keep spares somewhere *cringe*

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18 lceel November 7, 2012 at 1:15 am

If you’re going to get a new toothbrush (which I heartily recommend), make sure you get one of those vibrating ones with, you know, attachments. 🙂

Reply

19 Lightening November 7, 2012 at 8:08 am

You can’t say life is every dull at your place!

Reply

20 meleahrebeccah November 7, 2012 at 9:31 am

Oh My God! *dead*

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21 Krissa November 7, 2012 at 10:26 am

Sweetheart, if I lived in that house with you I would be sleeping with my toothbrush under my pillow. 😉

Reply

22 Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella November 7, 2012 at 10:55 am

It looked so innocuous until I thought about it a bit more! 😮

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23 Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions November 7, 2012 at 11:29 am

I think it’s time to start keeping your toothbrush under lock and key because this is the evidence you see… what about all the things you don’t see and don’t know about that are happening…

Reply

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