And when I say ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE I mean I emptied out my entire stash of white, milk, dark and caramel chips for these bitches.
And it was soooooo worth it.
So first, after you have stopped rejoicing that Lunchtime with Smosh and Thriller is no longer running on loop, there is complete wonderful gorgeous silence in the house, and that you have cleaned the bathroom and five minutes later STILL CLEAN BATHROOM!!!?!!! You will need to grab these bad boys:
OOOOOH look at mah bewdiful glass containers. I fucking LOVE them.
450g grams of plain (all purpose) flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
340g melted butter
1 cup of packed brown sugar (anyone know of a RELIABLE weight measurement for packed brown sugar?)
230g white sugar
2 tbsp vanilla extract (or a good glug of concentrate)
2 egg yolks
4 cups of choc chips (use a mix of at least two, or go batshit crazy like me and use ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE!)
Preheat the oven to 160C/325F.
Line cookie sheets with parchment paper/baking paper.
Measure the flour, salt and bicarb and whisk em up in a bowl.
I am a little obsessed with glass in my kitchen at the moment. Can you tell?
Put the containers back in the cupboard as you go cause you find it difficult to follow directions at the best of times and there was that one time that you put the flour in twice and that other time that you forgot to wear underwear so don’t trust your memory and just put the containers back as you go.
Mix the sugars together and then pour in the melted butter and mix on low until it comes together and then whip that bitch like she is Anastasia Steele.
Add the eggs, egg yolks and vanilla and give Ana another beating.
Mix in the flour a heaped soup spoon at a time until it is all incorporated.
Now I chuck all the choc chips in and turn the machine on for a few turns but if you don’t have a strong mixer you should just fold them in by hand or you will have a burnt out machine and choc chips on your ceiling.
The mix is pretty wet so kinda dollop them on the tray but space them apart cause they spread faster than nits in a Grade One classroom.
Blurry cause I was thinking about nits and my head got itchy.
Then chuck em in the oven for 15-17 minutes.
While you are waiting for them to cook, do another happy dance cause OMG THE BATHROOM IS STILL CLEAN and then dollop some more dough on a tray and chuck it in the freezer to flash freeze. That way in a couple of hours time you can chuck em in a bag and keep them in the freezer and when people drop in you can be all ‘Oh my house is a mess because I have been baking…‘ and then pull those suckers out and chuck em in the oven and those mofo nogood rude bastard drop ins will never know that you actually spent the entire day on Pinterest and downloading chick porn to your Kindle.
You are totally welcome.
They will need to sit on the tray for 10 minutes or so to harden up a little and then you can transfer them to wire racks to cool completely.
These didn’t make it to the racks cause Boo walked in the door and inhaled the entire tray full on his way to THE CLEAN BATHROOM.
Five minutes later…
Good thing I hid some first. And then I have that secret stash in the freezer…