And when I say ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE I mean I emptied out my entire stash of white, milk, dark and caramel chips for these bitches.
And it was soooooo worth it.
So first, after you have stopped rejoicing that Lunchtime with Smosh and Thriller is no longer running on loop, there is complete wonderful gorgeous silence in the house, and that you have cleaned the bathroom and five minutes later STILL CLEAN BATHROOM!!!?!!! You will need to grab these bad boys:
OOOOOH look at mah bewdiful glass containers. I fucking LOVE them.
450g grams of plain (all purpose) flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
340g melted butter
1 cup of packed brown sugar (anyone know of a RELIABLE weight measurement for packed brown sugar?)
230g white sugar
2 tbsp vanilla extract (or a good glug of concentrate)
2 eggs
2 egg yolks
4 cups of choc chips (use a mix of at least two, or go batshit crazy like me and use ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE!)
Preheat the oven to 160C/325F.
Line cookie sheets with parchment paper/baking paper.
Measure the flour, salt and bicarb and whisk em up in a bowl.
I am a little obsessed with glass in my kitchen at the moment. Can you tell?
Put the containers back in the cupboard as you go cause you find it difficult to follow directions at the best of times and there was that one time that you put the flour in twice and that other time that you forgot to wear underwear so don’t trust your memory and just put the containers back as you go.
Mix the sugars together and then pour in the melted butter and mix on low until it comes together and then whip that bitch like she is Anastasia Steele.
Add the eggs, egg yolks and vanilla and give Ana another beating.
Mix in the flour a heaped soup spoon at a time until it is all incorporated.
Now I chuck all the choc chips in and turn the machine on for a few turns but if you don’t have a strong mixer you should just fold them in by hand or you will have a burnt out machine and choc chips on your ceiling.
Trust me.
The mix is pretty wet so kinda dollop them on the tray but space them apart cause they spread faster than nits in a Grade One classroom.
Blurry cause I was thinking about nits and my head got itchy.
Then chuck em in the oven for 15-17 minutes.
While you are waiting for them to cook, do another happy dance cause OMG THE BATHROOM IS STILL CLEAN and then dollop some more dough on a tray and chuck it in the freezer to flash freeze. That way in a couple of hours time you can chuck em in a bag and keep them in the freezer and when people drop in you can be all ‘Oh my house is a mess because I have been baking…‘ and then pull those suckers out and chuck em in the oven and those mofo nogood rude bastard drop ins will never know that you actually spent the entire day on Pinterest and downloading chick porn to your Kindle.
You are totally welcome.
Anyway, COOKIES!
They will need to sit on the tray for 10 minutes or so to harden up a little and then you can transfer them to wire racks to cool completely.
These didn’t make it to the racks cause Boo walked in the door and inhaled the entire tray full on his way to THE CLEAN BATHROOM.
Five minutes later…
*sigh*
Good thing I hid some first. And then I have that secret stash in the freezer…
HUZZAH!
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
All I can think is frozen cookie dough Nomnomnom
You seriously need your own cooking show….
What sort of padlock can you put on that freezer? NOMS!
Oh, wow… they look awesome!!!! I also love all your glass containers!!! The joy of a gleaming bathroom is not something that should ever be underestimated… especially when it is so quickly destroyed….
This post made my night (yes, its been a long day!)
I have cooking envy, because these look amazing and super easy
(but still too hard for me)
and your bathroom problems make me feel normal…your bathroom should meet my bathroom one day – they’d have a blast!
they are so very easy. For serious.
From start to putting them in the oven (including gathering the ingredients and putting everything away) was like 15 minutes. True story.
Fabulous cookies. I may have to make a batch and put them in the freezer. Then just bake a few at a time so I don’t scarf the lot.
*adds choc and caramel chips to shopping list*
I just ransacked the house for something sweet. Nada. Then read this, Want to cry……
Damn it – where’s my care package? Hmmmm?
That is one MOFO choc extreme recipe! How do you stop your children from eating the ingredients before they make it to the mixing bowl? Cause THAT is my issue..
Also, my bathroom goes from sparkling to truckstop in about 5 minutes, so great job on that. And if it is like my bathroom…well, I appreciate you not showing me the skid marks in the toilet. (5 minutes, ffs.)
xx
Oh these look good. I LOVE choc chip cookies. Was diagnosed as coeliac about 7 years ago though so it’s more problematic to find any or make them now.
I thought I saw something ‘red’ in the mixmaster and was worried that some sort of fruit or cherry etc was involved but thankfully it wasn’t the case (don’t do fruit or dried fruit IN things)… so was able to salivate anyway!
Yummmm…. Oh, and hiding some – excellent idea.
these are an adaption from a gluten free recipe I used to make! I used a chickpea/tapioca flour mix, a teaspoon of Xantham Gum and chucked in a handful of flax seed and kids LOVE them!
Oh wow! Mind you.. I’m really slack about baking – must buy some Xantham Gum tho cos I read about it a lot. (Oh and I’ll need biscuit trays etc).
When I move into my new life I will bake. (I swear!!!)
Oh, and I’ll run along the beach, get fit and healthy, write a lot, so handcrafts (or similar) and be very zen.
I hope.
OMG! Yes please! *drooling*
Still laughing at whipping it up like Anastasia Steele
Thanks for making me hungry. Problem: no chocolate left in house! Some fatty McFatfat ate it all! Who me? No. Silly.
LMAO at the spreading like nits, and yes, now my head is itchy also. What is it about that word that instantly makes your head itch?
Mmm… cookies…
These look fucking NOICE! I bought some awesome chocolate from Monsieur Truffe (Lygon Street, Carlton, Victoria. You are welcome.) so I am totally going to make these. Like… now.
Lol Love cookies and I mean I fucking love cookies but haven’t cooked a batch in forever. Need to get mah baking on.
Ooh I love that there are SO many choc chips. I personally don’t’ think you can get enough
Clearly, neither did Boo!
If it was me (and lets face it, it will never be as I hate to cook!) I would use all the chocolate, and then go down to the shops and get more chocolate! I make the chocolatiest mars bar slice (doesn’t really count as cooking) around because I believe that you can never, NEVER, have too much chocolate in whatever it is that you are eating! And I am telling you now, the next time I am pregnant, before they diagnose me with GD, I am getting the hubster to make me these, and also some chocolate covered bacon, which the GD robbed me of trying last year!
I always have to hide a stash of homemade cookies too, just to ensure I get some. I have a collection of half empty bags of assorted chips too. Cookies sound like the best plan for the afternoon.
Love the recipe. For 1 cup of firmly packed brown sugar, I use 200g. Depending on what it is going into, I sometimes substitute rapadura sugar for the brown, as it isn’t quite as sweet and has a slightly darker flavour.
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