So it is like FATHERS DAY and apparently even though he is not my father (but is potentially old enough to actually BE my father) I have to do shit for the dude that deposited his seed in my womb while I was totally not looking.
On Friday I bought him a toolbox.
And made him pay for it AND carry it to the car.
Cause he already bought himself a PVR and and Apple TV and a big screen TV and heaps of other shit that I clearly did not notice him bring into the house and he is all ‘oh THAT OLD THING? I have had it foreeeeeeeever…’ which is total bullshit and also MY FUCKING LINE.
Oh and I bought him some mulch so he can make the garden look good after I made him remove all the bushes.
Which I also made him organise and pay for.
I win at gifting.
Anywhoo, Moo is home and she is making him breakfast when she decides to surface from the room that Boo now calls ‘The Visitors Room’ but has also claimed as his own cause it is clean and doesn’t smell like feet like his own room does.
And then MOTY and my Daddy are coming over for a late lunch/early dinner – LINNER? – of Christmas.
Because I am fucking insane and while cleaning out the freezer in a fit of OMG WE ARE GOING TO STARVE BECAUSE WE HAVE NO MONIES I found a turkey and decided Why The Fuck Not.
So Christmas it is.
With special stuffing and fresh rolls and roasted vegies and cranberry motherfucking sauce.
Ho fucking HO.
Merry Fathers Christmas to all the motherfuckers*.