Something. Something. Whatever. Fuck.

That is my ‘bio’ of sorts on Twitter.

It kinda sums up my title for this post cause I can’t think of anything but I want to say something but it is nothing really…

so…Something. Something. Whatever. Fuck.

Anywhoo.

School is back and I found Boo crying in the bathroom yesterday saying he wants to go back to primary school.

Which is PERFECTLY NORMAL and everyone feels that way in their first year of high school but it still made my heart break just a little tiny bit.

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Things are still up in the air with MPS and his old workplace {as in not the place he got retrenched from last month, the place he used to work before, well EVERYTHING}.  They love him and want him there it is just a matter of creating a position for him.  I said to him the other day that even though we have been sick, and shit is still fucked and everything is unstable I am pretty much the happiest I have been in years.

Cause he is happy.  And we didn’t even realise he wasn’t cause it was just the status quo.

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There is this car I want.  I saw it online last night am I am obsessing about it.

We can afford it – if this job becomes permanent – and it will not only make everything so much easier, it will be an enormous weight off my shoulders knowing that I have a reliable car when I drive 130 k’s a day to get Boo to and from school.

And it has a sunroof.

And heated seats.

And it was manufactured in THIS CENTURY.

And it DOESN’T HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING TAPE DECK.

And the car yard is near MPS’s work so we think – don’t we internet? – that MPS should go there on his lunch break and bring it home for a test drive… to the bank. Yes we do.

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MOTY’s birthday is this Thursday.  I had forgotten until I realised that she was calling me EVERY SINGLE DAY and wanting to POP OVER all the time to drop off crap that she found in her cupboards that she thought I might like and then my brain kicked in and was all OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH she always does this the week before her birthday so she gets a good gift.

Bitch is getting a stable table and a fucking teacake cause that is what she asked for.  I am too old for this ‘oh only get me this little thing and don’t go to any trouble for my cake‘ and then I spend weeks trying to wrack my fucking brain for what to get her and what cake to bake.  Done.  Dusted with cinnamon.  Fucking EASY.

I have been under the threat of her turning up today to drop off some random socks {she bought my dad some new ones so apparently MPS must have the old ones, you don’t fight it you just throw them out when she leaves and wait for her to lose her shit when she asks why he is not wearing said old worn out socks and you tell her that you have thrown them out cause they finally fell apart – which they hadn’t you just TELL HER THAT OMG KEEP UP PEOPLE – because you are being so WASTEFUL KELLEY} but apparently because I was mopping the floors and talking to her and then MPS decided to Facetime me at the same time and I wasn’t jovial enough and also didn’t have enough room in my freezer to hold all her shopping while she sat on my couch for 3 hours till her doctors appointment meant that she was going to just not turn up.

Well at least I cleaned the toilets in anticipation.

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Today I finally mopped my floors as I alluded to in the above rant about my mother. I worked up a sweat and it took two buckets but now my tiles are white {I have said it before and I will say it again, what fucking moron puts white tiles in a 4 bedroom house?} instead of dusty grey/brown/pasta sauce.

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I won a 15 dollar Spotlight voucher and I totally see that as a sign that we need to buy that car.

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I have watched so much Sister Wives over the last week that it is all seeming rather normal and a little bit like a damn fine idea.  But then I think of the fact that they would be synching up their periods and I don’t even want to be around ME then let alone 3 other women.  And come to think about it Brother Husbands would be good. One a chef, one a gardener, one a handyman and one a masseuse.

Swedish obviously.

And I would have to have them all debarked.

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Today I have been wandering around the house in leggings and a top from Supre. Don’t judge.  I have done enough of that for all of us.

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I found out that that horrible Man Flu of 2012 was spread by some fucker at Ally’s birthday party.  Smallish room, lots of people… it is just a fucking incubator.  I have decided to have Moo’s 21st on twitter.  It is safer that way.

And I can spend the money on another weekend of religion or maybe BUYING THAT CAR.

That’s all that was in my head for now, I might come back later and add to it.

Or not.

I am fickle like that and that is why you love me.

And you would TOTALLY love that car too…

{send awesome not a lemon but a totally reliable car that is big enough for Boo but still totally cute and MPS getting a permanent position asap vibes/prayers/sacrifices to your chosen deity, ta}