Random header image... Refresh for more!

Something. Something. Whatever. Fuck.

by Kelley

in a mind is a terrible thing to waste, posts that are really messages to my husband, proof yet again that I shouldn't be allowed on the internet unsupervised

That is my ‘bio’ of sorts on Twitter.

It kinda sums up my title for this post cause I can’t think of anything but I want to say something but it is nothing really…

so…Something. Something. Whatever. Fuck.

Anywhoo.

School is back and I found Boo crying in the bathroom yesterday saying he wants to go back to primary school.

Which is PERFECTLY NORMAL and everyone feels that way in their first year of high school but it still made my heart break just a little tiny bit.

x

Things are still up in the air with MPS and his old workplace {as in not the place he got retrenched from last month, the place he used to work before, well EVERYTHING}.  They love him and want him there it is just a matter of creating a position for him.  I said to him the other day that even though we have been sick, and shit is still fucked and everything is unstable I am pretty much the happiest I have been in years.

Cause he is happy.  And we didn’t even realise he wasn’t cause it was just the status quo.

x

There is this car I want.  I saw it online last night am I am obsessing about it.

We can afford it – if this job becomes permanent – and it will not only make everything so much easier, it will be an enormous weight off my shoulders knowing that I have a reliable car when I drive 130 k’s a day to get Boo to and from school.

And it has a sunroof.

And heated seats.

And it was manufactured in THIS CENTURY.

And it DOESN’T HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING TAPE DECK.

And the car yard is near MPS’s work so we think – don’t we internet? – that MPS should go there on his lunch break and bring it home for a test drive… to the bank. Yes we do.

x

MOTY’s birthday is this Thursday.  I had forgotten until I realised that she was calling me EVERY SINGLE DAY and wanting to POP OVER all the time to drop off crap that she found in her cupboards that she thought I might like and then my brain kicked in and was all OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH she always does this the week before her birthday so she gets a good gift.

Bitch is getting a stable table and a fucking teacake cause that is what she asked for.  I am too old for this ‘oh only get me this little thing and don’t go to any trouble for my cake‘ and then I spend weeks trying to wrack my fucking brain for what to get her and what cake to bake.  Done.  Dusted with cinnamon.  Fucking EASY.

I have been under the threat of her turning up today to drop off some random socks {she bought my dad some new ones so apparently MPS must have the old ones, you don’t fight it you just throw them out when she leaves and wait for her to lose her shit when she asks why he is not wearing said old worn out socks and you tell her that you have thrown them out cause they finally fell apart – which they hadn’t you just TELL HER THAT OMG KEEP UP PEOPLE – because you are being so WASTEFUL KELLEY} but apparently because I was mopping the floors and talking to her and then MPS decided to Facetime me at the same time and I wasn’t jovial enough and also didn’t have enough room in my freezer to hold all her shopping while she sat on my couch for 3 hours till her doctors appointment meant that she was going to just not turn up.

Well at least I cleaned the toilets in anticipation.

x

Today I finally mopped my floors as I alluded to in the above rant about my mother. I worked up a sweat and it took two buckets but now my tiles are white {I have said it before and I will say it again, what fucking moron puts white tiles in a 4 bedroom house?} instead of dusty grey/brown/pasta sauce.

x

I won a 15 dollar Spotlight voucher and I totally see that as a sign that we need to buy that car.

x

I have watched so much Sister Wives over the last week that it is all seeming rather normal and a little bit like a damn fine idea.  But then I think of the fact that they would be synching up their periods and I don’t even want to be around ME then let alone 3 other women.  And come to think about it Brother Husbands would be good. One a chef, one a gardener, one a handyman and one a masseuse.

Swedish obviously.

And I would have to have them all debarked.

x

Today I have been wandering around the house in leggings and a top from Supre. Don’t judge.  I have done enough of that for all of us.

x

I found out that that horrible Man Flu of 2012 was spread by some fucker at Ally’s birthday party.  Smallish room, lots of people… it is just a fucking incubator.  I have decided to have Moo’s 21st on twitter.  It is safer that way.

And I can spend the money on another weekend of religion or maybe BUYING THAT CAR.

That’s all that was in my head for now, I might come back later and add to it.

Or not.

I am fickle like that and that is why you love me.

And you would TOTALLY love that car too…

{send awesome not a lemon but a totally reliable car that is big enough for Boo but still totally cute and MPS getting a permanent position asap vibes/prayers/sacrifices to your chosen deity, ta}

Related Posts with Thumbnails

{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Fiona July 17, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Can I just send lemons?

Reply

2 Kelley July 17, 2012 at 4:54 pm

please do. I love lemons and we have been denied access to the over the fence tree by way of them trimming the damn thing.

Reply

3 Fiona July 17, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Damn them

Reply

4 Monnie July 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Oh damn it, my Spotlight voucher only had $5.00 for me in it. Hahahaha

Reply

5 Kelley July 17, 2012 at 4:53 pm

clearly a sign we need to buy that car, doncha think?

Reply

6 Monnie July 17, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Only if it means I can also buy a car. Which it totally does. So yes. 😀

Reply

7 Jayne July 17, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Yay!
Yes, MPS needs to take that brroom brrom for a test drive right past the bank and right into your hot lil mitts.
Pasta sauce coloured floor tiles = perfect.

Reply

8 Kelley July 17, 2012 at 4:53 pm

totally.

Reply

9 Rachel from Redcliffe Style July 17, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I totally obsess on things too. I’d be the same with the car 🙂

I hope you get it.

Rachel x

Reply

10 Corinne July 17, 2012 at 5:06 pm

For the first time ever you actually lost me mid post. One of us has clearly cracked. And I’m honestly not sure which!

Reply

11 Joanna July 17, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Sending you lemons WITH MY MIND!!!!

We have a Spolight opening up just down the road from me… VERY EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

You do need that car!

Reply

12 Amanda July 17, 2012 at 5:18 pm

A sign I tells ya! Sending all good vibes for a car but splitting the permanent job vibes between MPS and me (cause I need them in a big way).

(and I have been slumming around the house in a maternity top …. and it looks GOOD on me….. finally a top that fits my boobs in and hides my gut. So no leggings-as-pants judging here).

Reply

13 Katrina July 17, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I’m sitting here giggling reading about the old socks turning up….my grandma used to send my girls all this absolute crap that she had found, every few months large boxes would turn up (as we live in Penola SA & she lives in Perth WA it was all posted, costing her an absolute fortune each time, thank god we didn’t living anywhere near her or she probably would have been turning up with a trailer full of real crap every week) I never knew if I should laugh or cry….most of the time it just went straight in the rubbish without the girls even seeing it so that was one advantage but oh FFS it used to drive me crazy

Reply

14 So Ashamed I Have To Be Anonymous July 17, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I work with a bunch of awesome strong intelligent women who have all synced up their periods. Except me, I sync with the moon. I think I might be a bad person for not syncing with my sisterhood. But at least I don’t live with them, then I would feel even worse for being out of sync.

Reply

15 Kelley July 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm

dammit, I thought you were going to tell me you were a sister wife.

I was all excited.

Reply

16 Glowless July 17, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Second hand socks? I don’t want to know what she does with her old knickers.

Reply

17 Suzie July 17, 2012 at 8:18 pm

De vibes iz sent 🙂

Reply

18 tattoomummy July 17, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I would love me some brother husbands.
I have washing up that needs doing, floors that need vacuuming and feet that need rubbing.

Reply

19 Chookie Inthebackyard July 17, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I actually KNOW someone whose Grandma used give her her pre-loved underpants. As Christmas presents.

Hoping Kelley’s dream car becomes reality.

Mine won’t. I love those Bugatti convertibles from the 1930s — that sell for squillions.

Reply

20 carmen July 17, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Oh… when you buy that car… can you come and buy us one too… I’m too freaking lazy to research, test drive, haggle over prices/deals/options and to freaking decide what we want/need. UGH!!
But yes… whatevs. 🙂 xx

Reply

21 Lydia July 17, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Boy oh Boy…did I send vibes for you. As strong as I could for all GOOD things to come to you and yours. Health and wealth mainly. Glad you have such a wonderful loving mother!!!!!!! Sounds like my bloke ‘s ex. xxoo

Reply

22 river July 17, 2012 at 10:29 pm

So many topics here, I don’t know where to start!
I’ll just cross all fingers and toes and hope everything works out, the school, the job, the new car.

Reply

23 Mrs BC July 17, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Good luck with your car, that scratchy win is a good omen. I would just like a car that could start without having to hotwire it. Not even joking…

xx

Reply

24 Marita July 17, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Ooooh twitter birthday party, would I be invited?

Reply

25 Denyse July 18, 2012 at 1:16 am

Vibes x 10000000 for MPS job, You get car of your dreams, MOTY forgets it is her birthday & Boo keeps cheering and tearing you up. YOU ARE HAPPY….I am over the f-ing moon about that! Love u much. D xxxxx

Reply

26 Womb For Improvement July 18, 2012 at 4:50 am

Remind me why I don’t follow you on twitter?

*scurries away*

Sorted that. (Yup that one that just followed you, that’s me).

I need to take a leaf out of MOTY’s book. This Saturday my dad called, we chatted, I asked if he had anything specific to say, er, no… maybe, I said, related to the date. Is it your wedding anniversary. No you fucker it is my birthday. And I have a twin so that is a double forget. I threatened to send him down the dementia ward.

Reply

27 Tamsyn July 18, 2012 at 10:24 am

What is it with people giving us old stuff!? I have enough shitty stuff of my own without needing theirs as well. If its old and ugly throw it in the bin. I’ve told that to both my mum and mil but both still think I’m some kind of charity project and keep giving me their junk.

Reply

28 Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right July 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I do love your posts.

Reply

29 Ms Fifikins July 18, 2012 at 4:27 pm

One of my local take-aways has a shrine to a deity that is meant to bring them good fortune. I am usually the only person in there, but they put oranges at the bottom of it so I will send you oranges. Remember if life sends you melons you possibly have dyslexia…

Reply

30 Miss Cinders July 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

The Brother Husbands would have to be Irish… OMG imagine waking up to a sexy Irish accent every morning…. But they would all have to have awesome Irish butts too. Oh and Woman ESP so they’d know what not to say to piss me off… I could so go Irish Brother Husbands right now. I need the washing folded.

Hope Boo gets his school groove back soon x

Reply

31 edenland July 18, 2012 at 10:39 pm

NEW CAR.

I am a car person. Good luck with it all, my love XXXXXX

Reply

Cancel reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post: Roll with it

Next post: MPS and I are the complete opposite. And if I caught him peeing in the sink I would totally punch him in the gonads. AFTER he had stopped peeing. Obviously.

  • subscribe




  • validate










  • socialise







  • search for more awesomeness

  • Load More...
    Follow on Instagram
  • hello lover
  • archival awesomeness

  • awesomeness tied up neatly

    • a mind is a terrible thing to waste (240)
    • Anatomy of a brain fart (17)
    • Audrey (2)
    • aussie bloggers conference (3)
    • Autism (171)
    • awards and memes (13)
    • awwwwwwwwwwwwww (8)
    • baby socks up your twat (7)
    • Barney is my God (2)
    • birthdays (51)
    • bitch be crazy (130)
    • Bizzare searches (3)
    • Blah Blah Blah (87)
    • blogging (98)
    • chocolate and coffee (6)
    • Christmas (89)
    • chronic as fuck (26)
    • comments from the Dude (12)
    • cracking my own shit up (15)
    • cracking my shit up (40)
    • dissing the fuck out of dysautonomia (28)
    • Duuuuuude (5)
    • Easter (18)
    • Easter Bunny brings me presents? (6)
    • Easter decorating (5)
    • elsewhere. Just as awesome. (16)
    • finding my happy (14)
    • Flying thru the mayhem (57)
    • foul mouthed tutorials (19)
    • freaking the fuck out (34)
    • funstuff (121)
    • gastroparesis can suck it (31)
    • going to hell who is bringing the cheese? (24)
    • Guest biatches (38)
    • Happy happy joy joy (51)
    • Harry Potter Party (12)
    • hmmmmm (37)
    • I get by with a little help from my peeps (19)
    • I haz a sad (9)
    • I'm a biatch (32)
    • kids (37)
    • Letters (12)
    • linky lovin' (3)
    • lite n easy (2)
    • lovin' on my peeps (15)
    • me (1)
    • meh (19)
    • memey shit (4)
    • menu planning (3)
    • moments in mothering (15)
    • NaBloPoMo (18)
    • nerf bullets will survive the apocalypse and the world will be inhabited by cockroaches toting nerf guns (2)
    • oh the horror (7)
    • OVerheard in Magneto Bold Land (1)
    • posts that are really messages to my husband (10)
    • proof yet again that I shouldn't be allowed on the internet unsupervised (57)
    • ramblings (87)
    • ranty mcrantypants (12)
    • sadness (28)
    • serious shit (72)
    • so sweet I could vomit (13)
    • Stuff about Boo (85)
    • Sunday Breakfast (3)
    • techie stuff (2)
    • teletubbies are from the devil (12)
    • that was stupid. (11)
    • things that are awesome (14)
    • things that irriate me (30)
    • Things that make you go hmmmmm (18)
    • Things that make you want to hide in a cupboard (16)
    • things that piss me off (79)
    • this shit is fucked up (46)
    • tiny pieces of my mind (37)
    • Uncategorized (96)
    • whiney mcwhinerson (92)
    • WTF? (64)

Get smart with the Thesis WordPress Theme from DIYthemes.

WordPress Admin