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I guess now I will have to keep my finger nails short…

by Kelley

in bitch be crazy, whiney mcwhinerson

On Saturday morning I had a little bit of a breakdown.

Nothing huge… On the scale of Dora from Nemo to Charlie Sheen, I was dangling on the precipice of Naomi Campbell.

So no one was getting hurt unless there’d were phones around.

But I must have been pretty damn scary cause MPS took Boo out shopping for the ingredients for Boo’s Choice dinner  – fruit salad, Yummy Yummy… – and came back with these:

{the TULIPS not the ARTFULLY ARRANGED NATURE aka dead sticks from the garden}

And some hot salty fries to go with the hot salty liquid leaking from my face.

After I had finished shovelling them down my gullet he then insisted I go and put on a bra and some makeup lest I scare the villagers cause FUCK IT ALL TO HELL we are going out to get you a damn iPad.

His reasoning, we are either fucked or not – this job may turn into a full time gig or we are living in our car with a six foot toddler with a penchant for painting with his excrement and a hatred of brushing his teeth but at least we have got some mighty fine technology motherbitches…

And you can’t argue with that logic.

 

{to be fair,  the iPad was technically paid for by blog ads money which could have gone towards a stockpile of food or bills or some practical shit but sometimes mental health comes first, right?}

{how do I load images to this motherfucker? And links? I have to go back to my laptop? WTF Steve?}

{ad spots are about to open up for this month… Contact me here if you are interested in being awesome.}

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mrs Woog July 2, 2012 at 9:56 am

Ipads do fix a lot of sads. It is a fact x

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2 Joanna July 2, 2012 at 10:05 am

Plus, the more stuff you’ve got, the more you’ve got to sell off so you can keep Boo in carbohydrates!

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3 tiff July 2, 2012 at 10:09 am

iPads are good therapy. So are MacBook Pro’s. Yes.

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4 Glowless July 2, 2012 at 10:51 am

I’ve been threatening complete and utter mental breakdown for months now and now iThings have been forthcoming. I have been jipped. xxx

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5 Marita July 2, 2012 at 11:11 am

iPads are a awesome, so are hot salty fries, I have a craving for some of those right now…. do you think I need to cry to get them?

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6 Emmasbrain July 2, 2012 at 11:13 am

I hope you are feeling less Naomi Campbell and more Magneto Awesome.
Yay for the iPad!! You totally deserve it! Xx

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7 Trish July 2, 2012 at 11:17 am

Go MPS , you are MR Awesome. I Love my iPad saved me during the long roadtrip and especially in the hospital and ever after.
The tulips are pretty too.

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8 Trish July 2, 2012 at 11:19 am

Ps images you have to copy them from somewhere to your camera library or instagram them , then add them back into a post using blogpress …don’t quote me though.

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9 Shae July 2, 2012 at 11:24 am

I’m commenting from my ipad. LET’S FACE TIME

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10 Jayne July 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

I haz no iPad thingie but I wish you teh Awesome for your fiercely fabulous self on your new baby xxx

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11 Miss Pink July 2, 2012 at 11:40 am

Damn the MPS is a good man with a lot of sense. Whats the point of food if you can’t instagram it?

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12 Parental Parody July 2, 2012 at 1:40 pm

There was hot saltiness at my end when I read this. It’s about time you got some iAwesomeness. Can’t think of a better use for blog revenue, myself. Does MPS teach husbandry classes? Because #1Hubby could totally use some. Seriously, I am happier for you getting this than me, for some reason, and I’m still coveting one of those bad boys. Made my day.

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13 Nicole Avery July 2, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I don’t have an iPad and would love one not so much for me, but for the kids so they can then leave my iPhone alone!

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14 Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right July 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Your husband rocks.

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15 Maid in Australia July 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm

He’s a keeper that one … now keep the iPad to yourself!

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16 Kelly July 2, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Ha! We all need some mental health expenditure once in a while! My most recent “I can’t afford it but I’m stressed so I’ll get it anyway” purchase was a case of my favourite wine. Yum.

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17 Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella July 2, 2012 at 8:25 pm

iPad hugs for Kelley xxx

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18 river July 2, 2012 at 8:42 pm

MPS is such a sweetie and he looks after you very well. Tulips, hot chips,
i-pads….what more could you want?
I’m not at all jealous. I don’t want or need an i-pad. I’m in love with my kindle.

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19 Kylie July 2, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Yay for iPad. Blogging from iPad = ugh. I just cant get it sorted! Salty fries = yum:)

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20 Tara R. July 3, 2012 at 6:48 am

Salty fries and an iPad? That’s like winning the lottery. Short nails are overrated.

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21 Dannie (A Dose of Dannie) July 3, 2012 at 11:18 am

I just recently got an Ipad for my Birthday a few weeksago and still have not used it lol I will soon i hope love salty fries only when i am pmsing *snort*
Oh and i also had my first macaroon the other day now i know what you are talking about OMG! I can go to heaven safely x 🙂

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22 Jayne July 3, 2012 at 1:12 pm

iPad + salty fries = 🙂

Empirical scientific data or something.

Hope you’re feeling awesome-ish again xx

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23 carmen July 4, 2012 at 2:39 pm

*Looks at six yo child sitting on sofa with iPad*
You mean I’m supposed to have the iPad?
*Ponders macbook*
Nah all good – he can keep it! Can I have a new camera lens? Oh… sorry, Chaos bought me that last week…
Okay. I’m all good.
Glad you are too! MPS you rock mate!

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