Post sponsored by BigW Toys
In a couple of weeks it will be the first anniversary of my second stroke so of course that means it is the first birthday of The Golden Childs spawn.
Doesn’t everyone measure events by brain haemorrhages? It’s the only way I remember my own birthday.
Regardless, Boo is especially excited about this birthday as he is quite taken with The Golden Child’s spawn because, lets face it, the kid is pretty damn cute and obviously takes after his auntie.
Because Boo is ALSO quite fond of baby toys (read: I give up, play with the damn Teletubbies and Elmo till you are thirty) I decided to let him do a little online shopping for his cousins present. This serves MANY MANY purposes:
- I don’t have to stand around for an hour while he plays with EVERY. DAMN. TOY in the shop.
- I don’t have to deal with The Great Unwashed wearing leggings as pants and their snotty nosed children in Crocs drinking Coke out of a baby bottle that congregate out the front of every damn store.
- Nobody has to see me with my Quasimodo hump and pus leaking abscess on my EYE OMG!
- It keeps Boo quiet and happy while I watch some Real Housewives Of All of the Places or fuck around on the internet.
- I can order the stuff online and get it delivered straight to The Golden Child’s house, avoiding the likelihood of Boo deciding to eat our purchases and necessitating in me going back to Big W toys to buy more and then fishing the half digested Thomas The Tank Engine squeezy toy out of the toilet. Because that totally happened. Butthead.
- It saves me money and stress getting it delivered to them because I have a shocking track record of actually SENDING shit I buy for people. The Golden Childs Easter Egg still on my desk waiting for me to send it up to him. Even though he was IN MY HOUSE Easter Sunday. And The Golden Spawn got his birth present with his Christmas present. IN JANUARY.
- We wont have the inevitable fight of no we are not buying him a bike/ no you can’t have one too/ oh alright just one toy/ OMG I SAID ONE TOY not an Xbox/ he doesn’t need the entire set of Sesame Street characters/ no YOU don’t need the entire set of Sesame Street characters/ can we go and get mummy a coffee and a valium now? Because he will have NO IDEA what I actually purchased and he has the joy of picking every damn toy in the entire department and putting it in the little online shopping cart and thinking that his awesome Mummy bought them all for his cousin.
Win/win I say. And I didn’t even have to wear pants.
HUZZAH!
Magnetoboldtoo is sponsored by:
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m all in favour of online shopping. Anything that keeps me away from the sensory nightmare of shopping centres. Online toy shopping for the birthday and Christmas win
Although I do love Robinsons Books, but that is because they have dim lighting, no music and the great unwashed don’t go into bookshops. Huzzah!
Fountain Gate… the home of Kath and Kim is the absolute WORST.
I can feel a panic attack coming on in the CARPARK.
And herein lies the indisputable evidence that we parents of Amazingly Special and Dramatic offspring are in fact, Fantastic. Definitely. We have solutions for more issues/problems than the rest of the world even realises exists. We rock.
And so do you… by default.
xxx
“Dee fault, the two sweetest words in the english language”
Homer J Simpson
Chadstone is my nightmare!
And yay on no toilet tipping Thomas toys!
seriously? Chaddy is so light and airy (well the areas I go to are – namely the Apple store and Lindt, heh) and Fountain Gate is like a gaudy neon lit coffin full of lycra.
Try our local in the northern suburbs of G-Town. If I’m slumming about at home and decide I need to go to, say, Kmart, I don’t even bother changing out of my at-home clothes as I know I’ll still be better dressed than half the people there. Saw a mum stop halfway across the zebra crossing the other day, march back to her tiny 2-year-old girl hesitating at the edge of the road and scream in her face at a bazillion decibels “GET A MOVE ON, WOULD YA?!?!” Because you can’t hold the child’s hand when yours are full of smokes and grog cos it’s pension day. The sad thing is given what I usually see there, the most shocking thing was that she didn’t drop a few F bombs, an A-hole and a C-word for good measure.
Online shopping wins every time, except that it takes more than 20 minutes to arrive.
Chadstone is a place I only go to at 2 am, when they have those 24 hour shopping days near Christmas. Totally empathise.
I love that you all hate people as much as me… probably why we are all chatting on the internet.
I live in a sweet middle class suburb, but its closest big centre is westpoint Blacktown. Its scary and a real experience…. the unwashed really are unwashed there… i think they invented the term in that centre. Lycra, crocheted tops, those short shorts that are so tight that technically they are denim tampons…..Kelley, did you curse a gyspy or piss on an indian burial ground, cos babe, shit be raining down on you like mc nuggets.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nuggets.
When given the choice, I always go with online shopping. You can find everything from sparkly shoes to toys to books. Best invention ever.
except for clothes… I have never had good luck with buying clothes online. I know they have a return policy and stuff but as you see about I am shithouse at sending stuff so end up with a closet full of shit I hate cause it doesn’t fit.
I buy books online (love Book Depository) and groceries (freakin’ awesome) and have just bought some shirts from India which arrived yesterday and FIT!!!
I love online shopping and will probably be doing my Christmas shopping that way, now I’m on a roll!
I’m so glad I don’t have to buy toys anymore, with the youngest grandchild now being almost 8 and already having every single toy in the world, plus hand-me-downs from the older brothers.
The only things I buy online are books and dvds, sometimes groceries, (like a truckload of toilet paper and coffee), but never fresh foods, those I like to choose for myself.
OMG I LOVE grocery shopping online. LOVE IT.
I get the whole offline shopping exerience online by buying things, then going to the peeps of walmart to gaze on the great unwashed. That way I get my shopping done, and I still get to feel morally superior for not stuffing my kids with coke…
Online shopping is amazing.
It’s the sans pants thing that clinches it.
it does. And the fact that I don’t have to share my baby bottle of coke with anyone.
Shopping carts are awesome. I love just clicking on everything I want, it feels so satisfying.
Love the way you find solutions to problems that are only just now being invented.
And eww, on the Thomas toy. Seriously, that plastic stuff tastes awful without tabasco sauce.
What I love here is that not only have you managed to do a sponsored post about toys you’ve managed to work in a story about your kid eating them and you having to fish half-digested toys out of the toilet bowl. I am your padawan, teach me master.
oh Kim, you sell me short. I did a sponsored post about BABY TOYS when I don’t actually have a baby and managed to work in poo, toilets and a couple of swears. And you didn’t even notice.
I win the internet.
Is there a rule where one needs to wear pants? I hadn’t heard it…
Shopping sans pants is the only way to go, even better if you’re at home when you do it.
I adore online shopping. I don’t care if our “poor little retail outlets” are suffering because of it. Long live eBay and Book Depository!
Best dang sponsored post me has ever read.
*scratches crotch absentmindedly*
Sans pants is the way to go. And you can have a valium with your coffee.
This post reminds me of why I hate shopping. I still haven’t gotten over the perils of the toy aisle, and my boys are in their 20s. It’s that damaging!
and soon there will be grandchildren.
*shudders*