Once a year we get a night off.
A night where we can turn the TV up as loud as we want or sit in complete silence.
A night where not every. fucking. light. in the entire house has to be blazing along with every electrical appliance with a screen lest someone lose their complete shit at a blank screen.
A night where we can go out to dinner or the movies or whatthefuckever we want to do and come back whenthefuckever we please.
A night where I can drink as much wine as I want and not have that niggling voice in the back of my mind wondering if Boo will decide that I must be up with him as he flings himself at walls and asks endless questions about the motherfucking Teletubbies movie that he has been making for 8 years and hasn’t got past the opening credits.
Stellar cast BTW: Tom Cruise as Tinky Winky is pure genius.
A night where I don’t wake at 3am to the sounds of Boo running down the hallway, up and ready for the day.
So tonight is that night. Tonight Boo is at overnight camp and all that is someone else’s problem and we can pretend we are real people for a night.
Dinner and a show?
Popcorn for dinner?
Why the fuck not?
Sleep till noon?
Hellz to the fucking yeah.
All of those things would be fucking awesome, if it wasn’t for this tiny little issue of me taking a metric fucktonne of antibiotics that make me feel like shit but are the only thing between me and a IV drip in the local hospital, because I went and got myself a nice little case of motherfucking cellulitis of the motherfucking FACE and my eye is THANKFULLY no longer almost swollen shut and I am able to cover the redness with makeup, but I am pretty sure if we tried to go anywhere we would either be not admitted for health regulation issues – because no one could possibly keep a meal down looking at my face – or MPS would be arrested for assault or bringing endangered wildlife into a public area.
So needless to say I am:
rather pissed at the timing,
looking for a new fucking beautician cause the doc reckons it could have been caused by my recent eyebrow waxing,
rocking the indoor sunglasses look,
and missing my boy already and it is only fucking 11.30am.
Night off? U R doin it wrong.