While I won’t win mother of the universe, and you hippy crunchy granola chicks with your elaborate bento box packed lunches for your spawn filled with 5 different coloured vegetables and organic yaks milk can look down your free of makeup eat your own placenta noses at me, I shall be smug in the knowledge that I have an extra ten minutes to sleep in each morning.
Check it.
60 freezer sangas.
20 Devon, cheese and BBQ sauce – or as Boo calls them Baloney Sandwiches
20 Chicken, cheese and peri peri sauce (served with a side of lettuce) – Boo’s concoction and personal favourite
20 peanut butter – MPS requested
The crackers and sultanas are bagged up and ready in the cupboard, mini lamingtons bagged up ready in the freezer. Just need to chuck in some fruit and a bottle of water and HUZZAH MOTHERFUCKERS LUNCH IS SERVED.
And anyway what the fuck are you Bento bitches making lunches for? WHY AREN’T YOU HOMESCHOOLING?
You totally fail.
Next in the series How to get your kid to school with the least amount of effort as possible: You say iron the kids uniforms. I say chuck em in the dryer on hot while you mock people on the internet.
{speaking of the internet… click this and vote for me as the peoples choice for awesomest blogger in the history of forever. I need to beat those biatches Woog and Eden. And I have to get over the humiliation of being beaten for a bloggie by some chick with a fucking satchel}
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{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
FUcking Genius – you should win Mum of the Year for this…
Hence, my kids always got cafateria lunches… And we’re late one day a month when I was required to take the time to make out the check.
here in Australia there is no such thing as cafeteria lunches and our kids have to wear uniforms.
The first is a fucking pain in the arse the latter is fucking AWESOME.
*Were*… Fuckin autocorrect..
The closest I get to a bento box is using an enormous cookie cutter to take the crusts off the bread-a heart shaped cookie cutter.
But school lunches are for suckers who send their kids to school
I was thinking of you when I wrote it.
My sandwiches are in the freezer also. No snacks though, seem to have run out of snack food due to school holidays. Love the mini lamingtons idea. Might go shopping for those tomorrow.
Coles has awesome tiny ones. I give Boo 2 and he thinks it is heaps when in reality it is like a quarter of a regular one.
damnit. foiled again.
My daughter prefers to make her own lunch. She informs me what to keep the fridge full of and I think she will grow up to be one of your hippie, crunchy granola chicki babes. *ponders this* She declined homeschooling in favour of a community college. Could it be I am not crunchy granola enough to suit her? I shall sit here with my german beer and salami while I consider that I may not be cool enough for her.
So, the sandwiches don’t go all gross being defrosted?
nope. Come out fresh and cool and awesome.
As long as it only has meat and cheese. Boo doesn’t have butter either, dunno if that makes a difference.
I’d always wondered. I might have to try it.
My parents used to make me sandwiches and freeze them in advance. Cheese and gherkin relish, cheese and peanut paste, fritz/devon and gherkin relish, fritz and peanut paste (that was a protein-filled mistake of my father’s), pretty much anything that’s kinda solid like that worked fine.
Obviously no tomato, salad fillings, etc. The added benefit of them being frozen – like Kelley says – is that they’re nice and cool for lunchtime, without being soggy.
its like when i go to costco in sydney and buy a tray of effin huge muffins , chop them in half and plastic wrap them for kids lunches followed by banana bread..and for the love of god bagels.actually i go into catb induced coma after i get bacj from there …. when i have all four at school i will retire from shopping at all and do it all online and get it delivered for $5 …Well done no fuss and all the glory… sleep in and kids are happy…. kudos
that would be CARB*…sorry…exhausted… just got back from the family show at moorepark…*the other easter show… its 75% less fun but with all the carneys of a regular show…. awesome
I’m generally one of those hippy crunchy granola mums, but I also do the freezer full of sandwiches. They go nicely with the freezer full of home made muffins. Plus organic apples and the pre-packaged snacks bought at wholesale rates in bulk from a health food supplier. I do draw the line at homeschooling though – my oldest requested it, but her teacher put her in the G&T class instead and now she’s quite happy to go to school.
Emmd, Why the fuck ?? Why ?? What are you even doing reading this? I can’t even start on this comment for fear I will NEVER be able to stop. Please go away in short sharp jerky movements. Thanks.
Just read it again…G&T class hey? You are a twat.
Yeah, peace and love and a chainsaw up the arse to you to Jo.
holy shit… I only just saw this.
do you want me to delete these comments Emmd? Cause I totally will. I can take people abusing me in my comments but Jo you are out of line.
Feel free to delete if you want. I’m happy to own my comments as a warning to others that even dirty feral hippie mums don’t like being insulted in public.
…for what it’s worth, I had frozen sandwiches and homemade muffins and organic apples and bags of nuts and dried fruit and stuff and my parents weren’t exactly dirty feral hippie types. They just liked saving money. And I was in the G&T class too – Saturday afternoon extra-curricular stuff – and I’m so impressed by your response. *raises glass*
Kelley FTW. I love this post. I so want to hear about the bitch with the satchel though?
http://2009.bloggi.es/
Holy crap, would you charge to come and do my school lunches because mine totally suck. My kids agree…
Thing is, you’ll save a lot more than ten minutes! Those bento boxes take ages longer than that:) I wish I was as organised as you. And someone else could just make some bento boxes. They’re so yummy, and I’m so lazy
Oh my God. I LOVE this. I will so be prepared now when my toddler is school age!
I voted for you.
Well done on all the sangers! I did that for a while, but gave up and just kept the snacks in the freezer. Mostly brownies. Lamingtons never made it to the freezer, they were cut in half and sandwiched back together with whipped cream for after school snacks.
They get lamingtons?
Mine get sangers with a side of whinge.
I don’t have kids at school yet and every thing I see on all these fancy-smancy school lunches totally freaks me out. Thank you so much for the heads up.
You are my daughter! Yes. That is how I managed those sandwich rounds too. Freezer – you are my friend. Big bench to set out Lunch makings.. Done . Forget the satchel. You are winner in your own lunch box
MWAH
Bahahaha! I am totally a hippy, crunchy granola thing chick. Until I’m not.
I homeschooled for 6 months. It’s not for the faint hearted, which is why my kids are back in school.
What is this ironing thing of which you speak? I shake out the creases and my kids don’t care.
Winning at school lunches!! Bento Boxes are so cute, but I always think ‘Ugh, how much has this food been HANDLED??’ I like the sound of chicken & peri peri..nom nom nom.
xx
You know I actually love uniform only because I don’t have to spend 15 minutes deciding WTF I am going to wear each day, and if I have worn it too many times in the past, and how I can change it argghh give me uniform forever
You are fucking awesome. Those biatches can bite me too.
Love your work.
I am what some call a crunchy mum. I take offense.
*giggles* Nar I totally don’t. I peed myself laughing… okay so I didn’t actually pee myself, but I did laugh lots.
Heaps lots.
And I have no idea how no wee escaped. My ‘birthed 5 kids bladder’ just did me proud lol
Sheer genius… right? *nods*
Homeschool? Gosh then I’d have to keep them home… :/
Pfffft….my kids make their own lunch! Don’t even have to get out of bed at all for that!! Suckerzzzzz….
Oh, and I had to google Bento Box because I had NO IDEA what it was!!
I love this. There is simply NO reason to go all bento box for an eight-year-old. Know what else works in the freezer? Individual yogurts. By lunchtime at school, they are thawed and cold and delicious, no ice pack required in the lunch box itself. I also refuse to buy mini packs of anything. Instead, I got a big stack of tiny reusable containers with lids, so I can just decant whatever we already have around — from applesauce to pretzels into lunch-sized portions.
PS This is a funny post to read for an American, since nearly all the foods you mention either have different names here or don’t exist at all (like, I have no idea what a lamington is). It’s like, without even knowing it, you’ve gone all exotic on us without even trying. And THIS is why you are Queen.
AWESOME. You’ve totally surpassed THIS lazy mama!
Um yeah….
Bento box bitches can suck it SIDEWAYS!
My mum used to freeze our sandwiches once a week. She had a friend who said she HAD to make them fresh every morning because her daughters didn’t like the taste of defrosted bread… my mother just laughed in her face.
Those girls sound like they needed to follow Uncle Chopper’s advice and harden the fuck up.
Can’t wait to get Miss 6 making her own damn lunch. And my family daycare mum recently took me to task over always sending the boy child to hers with sandwiches… then suggested I pack chicken nuggets or cheerios for him to eat. The boy ingests enough junk without eating shit like that for lunch. >_<
LOL bentos have nothing on you!
Now I’ve gotta go find me a devon/stras (or, as they call it in Adelaide, Bung Fritz!!!) and sauce sandwich! Also, I saw those bento boxes online the other day and couldn’t imagne how the contents of one could possibly fill anyone up…
Totally out of line Jo sounds like your the one with the fucking problem not Emma , peace love and brown rice to you Emma .
Wondering how I can get around the eldests food *ahem* quirks to find something I can make a head and freeze. At least the younger two are happy with peanut butter or vegimite…
Hilarious and awesome. Totally inspirational! Why have I never done this?? Bento boxes are for losers.