I dragged my feet but I had to leave to go and pick up Boo.
I stopped and got coffee – day time Dutch Courage or at least something to do with my hands.
As I pulled up to the school grounds my mind was momentarily distracted by the numbers of tiny children coming out of the school across the road with no adult in sight.
I just don’t understand that… such a busy road, can’t you get off your arse and go and pick up your fucking kid?
I get out of the car clutching my coffee.
It is a warm day but suddenly I am sweating.
So stupid, just tell her no.
I open the doors to the school office waiting area, a cool breeze rushes out but I am flushed cause she is sitting there staring at me.
Relief that she isn’t dead {oh didn’t I mention that I have been freaking the fuck out all week that I would get here today and be told that she topped herself minutes after I refused to hand over cash?} but then a knot forms in my belly.
She is surrounded by people all wearing lanyards.
I walk and stand in the farthest corner, the office lady catches my eye and mouths ‘it is OK. It is OK.’
I can hear them talking to her about not being allowed in the school grounds any more.
That they will help her find services.
Department of Human Services.
Someone to teach her to budget.
You must not ask people for money.
You need to wait at home for your son.
{son? She never mentioned a son…}
Guilt washes over me, taking form in a layer of sweat on my brow and running down my body.
I feel sick.
Responsible.
But then, as I listen – I can’t help it they speak so loud, why the fuck they don’t take her into a room for privacy or is this a show for me? A ‘see what you did’ for the grass. The fink. The informer? – I wonder if I actually did a good thing.
In a round about way.
Instead of ignoring her or yelling at her or running away
I let someone know.
And they knew I knew that all was not right.
And now she is getting help.
Help that was OBVIOUSLY needed but she fell through the cracks.
Kinda like Boo if I drop the ball and stop fighting for just. one. second.
No one was fighting for her.
How fucked up is that?
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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
You did good.
You done good.
…and as for the tiny children leaving school alone *I know* !!!! Does my head in too.
I just find it unbelievable. These kids are TINY, prep kids with bags bigger than their bodies and they are wandering the streets alone…
This is the best outcome you could hope for.
She will get help, because of you.
You did a great thing, by saying ‘no!’
Do you realise you fought for her too? Because of YOU someone is finally willing to help her.
You did good. You did the right thing.
Hoping she gets the help, and takes the help.
Hoping some political bastard hears your needs for Boo, and they start the ball to make the changes needed for everyone fighting like you are.
xxxx
they promise the world and deliver nothing.
Apparently 110 a fortnight is payment for all the work. I would gladly give it back for the proper supports and funding.
I’m glad she is ok.
And I’m glad that you did what you needed to do.
x
Let go of the guilt Kelley.
You did the right thing by saying no, then telling someone.
The woman will now get the help she needs, where before she had none.
I hope so River, cause she met me outside the office again today…
you are assuming alot about this lady , that nobody is fighting for her… you dont know that. She needs to know she cant hit people up for money. i knew a lady who was handicapped and believe me she knew how to work it. Mentally handicapped and wrote the most incredibly articulate letters. took a mile when she got an inch… dont stress shes not yours to worry about
you are right, I AM making assumptions and that is wrong.
I know what you mean about that lady you knew. Being a carer doesn’t make you a saint and being disabled in any way doesn’t automatically make you a nice person. I was swindled BIG TIME by a woman with CP a few years ago.
You’re amazing x
I am fucking wonder woman.
x
Yes babe, you did good. You couldn’t have started with that. And hopefully she will be okay. And so will all the little kids. xo
Kel, I know a bit about war. Your are fighting one, for Boo. Two of the principles of war are “selection and maintenance of the aim” and “economy of effort”.
Random Lady is not your main effort, Boo is. You need to let this one go. No guilt, no worry, just let it go. Maintain your aim on Battlefront Boo, and put all your effort in there.
(Another principle of war is “surprise”, I dunno how you’d fit that one in… But I’m pretty sure coffee counts as “maintenance of morale”)
I guess it is cause I see Boo try to have conversations with people and they walk away. Right now it doesn’t faze him but one day it will. How can I do that to someone else, ya know?
Don’t feel guilty. She is getting help. These aren’t people to condemn her, they’re there to help her because chances are she needs help more than managing her finances and what she shouldn’t be talking to strangers about.
Pretty much what they said…
You rule. Seriously.
I hate that pit in your stomach feeling. maybe that corner she needs to turn, is just there.
You did the right thing.
She needed help, she was asking for help, you refused to give her money she thought she needed but you got her the help she really needed for the long term xxxx
Oh, and she must have asked someone else for them to be fussing over her another day cos it would have spurred them to get her help before you got there (and they’d have organised for it to happen at her home rather than at school).
i have been reading for awhile. your last post, asking “what would you do?” resonated. i did not know what i would do. so today, i want to compliment you on telling someone this woman needed help. And on the juxtaposition of your not knowing she had a son. And that the Office People were speaking too loudly. Strong writing, The wrap around to Boo was perfect. Now, follow MY blog, dammit. Only because I love yours. Rock on.
oh mate. how i wish we could untangle ourselves from the pain of others. helping is good but it is hard xx
You are a star.
xx