So my husband changed his Facebook picture from a current one to this:
Taken some time in the Jurassic Period because my husband is old and I was a child bride.
{this is NOT HELPING YOUR CASE KELLEY}
Normally I would not have a problem with his delusions, and to be perfectly honest I have always been camera shy so I have no pictures of me from back when I was an international supermodel to put up as my twitter avatar.
{shutup, it is true… all evidence was destroyed in a fire or a flood or plague of locusts or something}
The issue is the majority of his ‘friends’ on Facebook are women that he used to be fuck buddies with back when Jesus was remodling kitchens and I am all UM EXCUSE ME WHY ARE THERE NO DECLARATIONS OF LOVE FOR YOUR MUCH YOUNGER WIFE ON YOUR WALL MPS?
Sure, I talk to people of the male persuasion and often get emails and dubious requests from those possessing an extra appendage but I have never seen them naked.
Well not INTENTIONALLY.
And they sure as shit ain’t seen me in the alltogether. That is something I reserve for the mirror when I stand there eating an entire tub of double chocolate icecream with chocolate chips silently screaming at myself at how hideous I am.
Like all women do, obviously.
And then I was watching The Real Housewives Of Beverley Hills and having a MAJOR fucking hate on Camille and she was all OMG he stopped calling and then it was only text messages and he moved to New York and then he called and wanted to end our marriage cause he was fucking some flight attendant and I was all OMG CAMILLE MPS IS DOING THE EXACT SAME THING!
Well without the not calling and only texting and moving to New York but he is totally talking to old ladies on Facebook and stays up all night watching Star Trek while his former international super model wife is sprawled out in the middle of the bed drooling into her pillow.
And I am pretty sure that one of these senile old biddies has been on a plane. Probably in the cargo hold but it still counts.
I know what choice those dudes who jerk off to pictures of my broken toe and Roboboot would make.
So, how do you feel about your other half/significant other/person who leaves their jocks on the floor and takes out the bins just as the garbage truck is coming down the street wearing your short pink fluffy dressing gown sharing photos and pokes with former fuck buddies?
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
It makes me a little uncomfortable. IC is friends with all his old girlfriends on facebook and occasionally has catch ups with them in real life (VERY occasionally).
For the most part this doesn’t really bother me, but sometimes I feel a little awkward about it – but shhh don’t tell him that.
It is kinda weird.
Then again one of my ex-boyfriends wives friended me on facebook, but she said straight up that I couldn’t friend him – but she would keep him informed what we had been up to. So weird.
That is so odd!
Like I’ve got a freakin partner. I’m jealous of you bitch lol
FMIDK
Hmmmmmm, I think this is dangerous territory, I am friends with a few of my ex’s on FB, but having said that they are also friends with Mremmasbrain.. I dont know who his friends are, because i am a paranoid psychotic bitch when I Get PMS …so I leave well alone….
I think it depends on how it makes you feel? Guys need to have everything constantly stroked, their dicks, egos, and heads every time they do anything remotely nice… As for the old picture, it’s a clear breach of false advertising standards.. He he, sorry, I’m not much help. Ima shudup now xxx
MG doesn’t have any… I’m his one and only. I took him on and gave him an “education”.
1. Mps is a doll.
2. Worse things happen at sea.
Also the hair style is charmingly antiquated. You needn’t panic.
Hrrrm. I’ve met all of the bloke’s serious exes, and there’s really only one psycho hose-beast among them (and he never speaks to her); I knew him for ten years before he started gong out with me, so it’s not surprising, hey? I get on really well with one of them, as well. I think he has a few of his old high school girlfriends on his Farcebook, but meh, not fussed. Plus, I am friends with the wife of one of my exes as well.
PMS on MPS. That explains it …
I totally get you on this one…
I was going to write something more meaningful because I really do get it; I’m not jealous or suspicious like you say, but I cannot always see straight…
While I was thinking about it, I read Paolo Coelhos blog post for today. He is offering a piece of poetry by the Persian poet Hafez…
It struck me good, especially this sentence:
“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions”
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2012/02/18/your-love-should-never
Mine doesn’t have facebook… or any internet identity. However, when he was flirting with the 22 yr old receptionist of major boobiage and red hair, a few years ago, (who told him he looked like Hugh Jackman, thus Hubby suddenly grew sideburns a-la Wolverine) I did feel twinges of nervousness. I talked it all through with my online male friend and he reassured me that I was way to awesome for hubby to consider being away from me in more than the light of a frivolous daydream. We may also have discussed explosives. Hubby may have been standing right behind me.
You are incredibly awesome. Therefore the same applies.
Email me if you need to discuss explosives.
All I’ll say is that he is rocking that hair….and so much of it!
Well … isn’t it the male mid-life crises time. Just be careful when the brochures for the little red sports car start showing up. Or new clothes. But… I reckon he’s a cool dude.
My ex before Mr NQN was not to be trusted but Mr NQN is. I think I did my time with the other one and so the universe dealt me a superbly decent guy to make up for it
I’d like to be the bigger person, but I’m not a fan. At all. My man is a chronic flirt (he’s the man to have with you if you want an upgrade on a plane or a bigger piece of pie at a restaurant or stunning service at Myer) and I’m okay with that, but I suffer from crippling over-protectiveness. Particularly as he works away in the mines. And it doesn’t help that amongst his exes are a girl who recently posed for Ralph, and an Australian pop star. But what DOES help is that he’s about 20kg fatter and 75% balder than he was when he dated THOSE girls. Good thing charm only gets you so far
hubba hubba! No wonder you fell in love!
I’m a sucker for thick, dark, gorgeous hair.
I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Everyone who knew him back then is just as old as he is now.
Your hubby was hot.
As river said above, I’m sure you have nothing to worry about since they are all old farts now. 
But seriously, your post was hilarious. I was sitting here grinning to myself and my boyfriend just gave me a weird look. Love your style of writing. Will be coming back for more.
I think it’s ok. But I think you should keep talking to each other about how you feel about it.
Gah, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, he should probably assess his actions and reasonings. If he doesn’t have anything emotionally invested in what he’s doing, no ulterior motive, it will be easy for him to stop talking or sending photos to loose whorebag women.
That said, I occasionally chat online to exes (it’s hard not to, they make up 50% of the eastern seaboard) and it usually just reminds me what a douche they were and why Mr Accident is awesome.
I’d only be worrying about it if he was unfriending you on FB, and/or setting up a private internet account to chat to old exes on. As long as you know about it, it’s cool. And let’s face it, he’s posting old photos, not current ones, right? (And he IS married to a supermodel …)
My husband is a flirt and I’ve been uncomfortable plenty of times because the women he chats to are thin and gorgeous. I’m probably not helping your case :s
Ladies please
There are a small percentage of men who are douchebags
But generally if he is talkingto, flirting with, or FB some other chick but coming home to you – you are the winner! Rest easy
Want to be sure? Cook him a steak and YOU do the work in bed tonight – Winner!
My boy was an old fart too (even though he looked younger than he was) but didn’t “do” social media so I wouldn’t know. But he was very loyal so I never worried anyway.
One of his ex girlfriends used to write him letters which he didn’t read. She also sent letters to his mother who opened and replied to them all. His Mum also kept a photo of them both in the sacred glass cupboard, but I think that’s got a lot more to do with her keeping EVERYTHING and not being much of a housekeeper than anything else. Irrelevant now though…
It’s too easy these days (with FB/social media). I think if it were my Steve I’d be ok with the friending of the old flames BUT I’d have a problem with the young photo. Not a true representation of who he is now. That’s the part I’d be not ok with the most. So I get it – it is an insecurity, sure, but it’s not something I’d be comfortable with. I would want my boy to show he has a family and a life now… Have I helped? Oh no. Have I made it worse? (I am in the depths of insecurity myself at the moment!)
So disclaimer first:
1. Long time lurker
2. You are one of the select few in my google reader (honestly, I only have about 25 in my reader on purpose. I’ve decided you’re worth reading, probably because of the profanity)
3. Your husband, as a younger man is hawt.
4. I have a margarita maker and if you ever make it to Vancouver, you can sleep on my floor (on a blowup mattress) and I will make you a pitcher of margaritas all for yourself, using mid-grade tequila.
My question: can I put your younger husband on my laminated list?
i was 8 months pregs with my third child when i found hubby on fb checking out his ex fiancees pictures, i went psycho pregnant biatch on him and he assured me that it was because one of their mutual friends commented on her pictures, it showed up on his feed…. sounded reasonable. but i got alot of milage out of that one. gRA is friends with all his exes ( they dont hang or anything) and i am not a friendly ex wife so its kind of annoying
Not on my watch. Don’t trust men. At all.
I’d be kneecapping the old biddies…or defriending them at least…after you hacked MPS’ account.
Talk to Eccentricess re explosives, she has a wicked mind
Is it just me or is he a little Sylvester Stallone circa Rocky? My other half was on FB for five minutes once upon a time & he was friends with at least two old flames. I think he sensed danger & deactivated his account accordingly!
Hubby has an old girlfriend added on the book. He’s never on there, and they dated for about two minutes, but it does irk me, knowing she’s there in his friends list even though he’s not on there actually talking to her – at all.
I’m sure you have absolutely nothing to worry about and I’m sure deep down you know it too, hm, sometimes we women be crazy.
I don’t have a significant other. So I don’t have to deal with these kinds of issues. Hooray for single life.
I think it’s a bit of a giggle really! Some people whose old fuck buddies turn up on Flickr are furious and keep their fingers, toes & anything else necessary, crossed, in case their wife thinks something of it! They can’t BLOCK these people or all hell would break loose, so they have to live in fear or laugh it off. Most of the hoomans I know just do the latter…& so do you! rofl