In the original post it was simple by stylish floor length blinds. This time it is The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 2 DVD which is only lethal to working brains.
Black Spongebob Squarepants.
Five minutes ago it was Black Husband. Now THAT would have been confusing. Or ironic.
Oh and for extra shits and giggles my stripper name (first pet, first street) is Harriet Springvale.
Regale me with yours, they couldn’t possibly be as pitiful as mine.
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
My weapon is a big hot cup of tea, i don’t know if it would do more damage if i threw it or drank it. My super hero name is Black Legal Pad (with a birthday party plan written on it), 5 minutes ago it was Black Frittata. My super power would be smothering you in egg.
And my favourite is my porn star name; Peanuts Pound. It was a goldfish.
My weapon is an iPad, my superhero name is Purple Mouse (scary right?!) and my pornstar name is Todd Bocking LOL
multicoloured stripe wall does not sound like a superhero
I wall mounted first aid kit wont stop the zombies
sigh
although my stripper name is fluffy winters
My weapon is an almost-empty box of tissues.
I am Red Online Banking Security Token…or Deefa Maidstone when in my cunning stripper disguise.
I can hear the zombies and supervillians quivering in their boots.
Striped Daughter.
My weapon of choice is a printer, which is probably going to prove enormously unhelpful in fighting off zombies, as you have to get close enough to them to hit them with it. Plus, carrying it around would make your arms really tired after a while.
My superhero name is Pink Remote Control. Yeah. To quote an episode of Buffy, that name is striking fear into nobody’s hearts.
And my porn name is Bit Grace.
I think it’s now official that I’m the first character to die in anything ever…
My weapon is violet jeans! Save me someone lol
Hmm, Green Mouse doesn’t sound all that threatening. And Lou Stafford sounds more like a rock star than a stripper/porn star.
Beware evildoers everywhere, The Purple Handbag is watching your every move!! Able to…carry sunglasses????
D’oh!!!
Weapon: IPhone charger cable *yawn*
Superhero name: naked sheet – LMAO
Stripper name: Mitzie English *snort*
Weapon: my iphone
Super hero name: Orange Calculator
Stripper name: Perky Pleasant-place!!!
My weapon is a white towel and my name is Black apron. I am fucked.
Grey Curtain to the rescue.
Weapon: Empty teacup
Superhero name: Aqua School Newsletter (woot!)
Porn name: Missy Mountain. (Actually that one’s not too bad…)
Weapon: A Sharpie
Super Hero Name: Blue & White Striped Pinboard
Stripper Name: Tigerlilly Deer
Weapon: A book. Specifically Rape: a history from 1860 to the present, by Joanna Bourke
Superhero name: Pink Wall.
Porn name: Tama ???. I have no idea. Was on an air force base. Tama Airforce?
Not sure how well dental floss will defeat the zombies, but at least they won’t have dirty teeth when they chomp me.
Red Towels to your rescue!!
And my porn name is Mandy Conifer. Hmm, not sure about that one.
Haw haw haw! I’ll contribute:
Spotrick’s Macbook Air is my weapon of choice;
Black Filing-Cabinet is my superhero name [BULL! That sounds like a public servant!];
Mieke Colway is my stripper name [Mieke was my first cat, left in NZ in 1958].
Zombie weapon: Glass of water with a straw in it
Superhero name: Floral paper (um wtf?)
Stripper name: Kitty Alma
My weapon is a wall, my superhero name is Blue Couch and my stripper name is Ace Hutchinson or Ginger Hutchinson, depending on whether I choose the dog’s name or the cat’s name.
Weapon: music stand. Not too bad, lots of sharpish edges and some heft.
Superhero name: Red mouse. Pathetic. It’s a computer mouse, btw, we are not overrun by rodents (as far as I know).
Stripper name: Tommie Berkshire. Mmmm alluring, no?
My weapon against the zombies is a Fountain Pen. With extra ink supplies! The pen is mightier than the sword, plus I can make arty ink blots on their decaying clothes so they are prettier.
My super hero name is Black&white Legal-Will-Kit. Hyphenated names are fancy.
‘And we have Kimmie Dawson poledancing for your pleasure tonight.” 😉
First of all, It would appear I am to beat zombies off in the apocalypse with an acoustic guitar. It would appear that I would die in this instance. Even though I am actually a superhero named Purple Insurance.
weapon – electric heater (should have been put away after winter – its 37 degrees here today, but I am a lazy bitch!)
Superhero name – Black GHD
Stripper name – Keisha Main
All quite plausible…..
My deadly weapon of choice is my official stamp (the thing I use to stamp documents I translate with my name, business name, etc.). I guess I could poison the ink and stamp all the zombies to death? Probably not wildly effective I suspect…
My superhero name is also (unsurprisingly) fairly un-super-sounding: Beige Coffee Mug (“Beware the Beige Coffee Mug; she will bore you to death (or tears, at least) with her Beige-ness!”).
And my stripper name sounds more like a character from an Agatha Christie novel: Henry Fairway (the young, personable posh guy who falls in love with the girl wrongly accused of murder). Oh, and Henry was a stick insect that my mother hated. She told me he would come back when I called him if I put him in the privet hedge at the bottom of our garden. And OF COURSE he didn’t. Stupid, naive 5-year-old that I was.
My weapon is a large tom cat.
My name is Grey Remote Shutter Trigger.
Really.
My weapon of choice is a red cavoodle puppy with wind – take that zombies! My superhero name is Burgundy Compact Disc – it’s just not going to cut it (unlike the dog).
Well, I’m screwed. My weapon is my laptop computer and my superhero name is Maroon Doublemint Gum.
My stripper name is a rather dignified Bentley Hasluck. That sounds more like an English lord than a stripper.
Pink bedspread!
To my right is a glass of whine. That’s right – whining. AGEN!
My weapon is a dirty paper plate and my name is Grey Salt Shaker. Methinks I snack too much when on the computer.
mine are pretty bad.
weapon: floor lamp
superhero: Lavender Book
stripper name: Abigail 91st
Hi there, I’m Blue Envelope and my weapon is a pen… I’d say it’s a whole “pen is mightier than the sword” thing but really, faced with a villain with a knife, I think I’d lose. Sucks to be me, hey?
Zombie apocalypse weapon: rocket launcher
Superhero name: Yellow Power (there’s a power board next to me)
Stripper name: Sam (the first road I lived on was dirt and doesn’t really have a name)
Winning? I think so.
ha ha ha ha – my weapon is an esky and my rednecky superhero name is Bluegrass! I’ll kill you softly with a song – played on a banjo – while I quietly drop a fridge on you!
All I can say about the strippername is that it does not work in Danish: Trofast Ny Vordingborgvej – not happening on any stage near you. For a little flavour I CAN add that one reason why I chose not to take my husbands last name was that I thought the combination sounded like a pornstar: Seena Zanelli – I used to say it sounds like a bad pornstar, but then I realised I don’t know a good one (there are heaps of more appropriate reasons as well, but I never use them ).
Haha! So my weapon of choice is the wooden rail from my bed frame and my stripper name is goldie 9th ave…the weapon is impractical and the name is kind of sleazy. I guess that’s appropriate though. 🙂
Worship me, for I am White Budda, destroyer of zombies, wielder of a small dog. Also, on weekends, I strip as Napoleon Sturdee. Mates rates for you, Kel.
A lint baller, the Cream Cup and Missy Spring.
I’m fucked.