{TWO posts in one day… it could be the end of the world. It could be Chinese New Year – we are having Peking duck for dinner OMG YUM. Or it could be I just posted this morning and then other shit happened that you need to know}
Today we took Boo on his first train ride.
Not far, half an hour or so away, but far enough for it to be an adventure.
And he loved it.
Next we will go further, we are working ourselves up the transportation line to space ship.
We have been planning this little trip for weeks, explaining and reassuring Boo of all the intricate details on train travel.
Most importantly THE TRAIN WILL NOT STOP AND START AS YOU DEMAND.
And STAY SEATED AND ONLY GET ON AND OFF THE TRAIN WHEN IT IS COMPLETELY STOPPED.
And my personal favourite PLEASE DON’T SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF MUMMY BY TAKING OFF AND STAY BEHIND THE YELLOW FREAKING LINE UNLESS YOU ARE GETTING ON AND OFF THE TRAIN!!!!1!!!
As you can tell I was a little anxious about taking my 6ft toddler on a country train.
Anyway either it was luck or my extreme parenting cause Boo LOVED the shit out off the entire ride.
We got off at a tiny tourist town we have renamed The Mecca of Fucking Hipsters and Boo perused the many options for lunch.
And chose the scungiest crappy havenobusinesscallingthemselvesafuckingcafe cafe to have a burger so I chucked a tantie cause I wanted to dine with the hipsters and MPS bought me this:
OMG LOVE LOVE LOVE
I suffered through a bowl of oilshouldhavebeenchangedbeforeY2k chips and a couple of sips of dishwater coffee while Boo scarfed down his grease burger.
We wandered in and out of some shops, all of which were wonderful with Boo except for the fucker in the lolly shop that made us buy THIS:
because Boo picked it up and put it to his face. And OF FUCKING COURSE it is now his most favourite thing in the world.
May a syphilitic razor encrusted donkeys penis enter your ANOOS while you sleep Mrs Fucking Shopkeeper…
{hmmmm, I guess I can see MAYBE why SOME people MAY think I am a little scary. It is not as if I OWN a donkey or even know where to get one. Or syphilis for that matter…}
ANYWHO, we wandered around and then I got me some Devonshire Tea
I thoroughly recommend Fucking Hipster Watching while delicately nibbling on scones with jam and cream. Extra points if Fucking Hipster is accompanied by Ironic Children and Elderly Woman with a Grey Bob.
Then the heavens opened and the angels sang and Boo got the thing he had been coveting for YEARS ever since he saw his first Wallace and Gromit…
He was totally doing this.
WENSLEYSDALE CHEESE!
And we came home on the iTrain.
Which was the icing on a lovely day.
My back is now completely fucked but it was totally worth it cause Boo was a fucking ROCK STAR.
{ 19 comments }
My children would have behaved in precisely the same way if they saw Wensleydale!
I actually saw some in COLES yesterday. Unbelievable!
You totally get the Rock Star Mum Of The Year Award! Plus, a huge thank you from my hubs… Your pic has convinced me to try clotted cream (if we can ever get our hands on some). Was the tea as delish as it looks??? UM-YUMMMM!
It was divine. Pity I only had 7.5 minutes before our train home to devour it.
“Where’s the cheese, Gromit?”!
In. Mah. Belleh.
Ahhh, that cigar brings back fond memories…
Of those chocolate cigarettes you used to buy.
Musk stick cigars.
Then when one finds Daddy’s “chocolate pretend alcohol bottles”, well, they must be for kids, to, right?
Lolly shops. Not set up for toddles that can reach high places. Bugga!
I had never seen one like that but I did love me some chocolate cigarettes (They were Camel) and the ‘fags’ that they have now rebranded ‘Fads’ not really sure if it was the non PC connotations or kids smoking that made them do that…
Yay!
Get him to a steam train (not Puffing Billy, too many people) he’ll love it.
any ideas where? Puffing Billy would be INSANE. I have visions of him being all ‘too noisy, getting off’ while the train is on a bridge… *breathes into a paper bag*
That is so awesome! I am thrilled to pieces for you.
Am very envious about the cheese.
Also I have an insult you can add to your reportoir ‘goat felching motherfucker’ although you more than likely know it already.
goat felching motherfucker… loving the shit outta that.
Why do kids always choose the crappiest places to eat? And force you to buy stuff you don’t want to? But at least he loves it. And you got Devonshire Tea AND Peking Duck! Awesome.
Sounds like a great day out excepting for the shop-keeper and the cafe
Wensleydale! Awesome.
Peking duck = ahhhhhhhmazing.
I’m so happy Boo loved his 1st train ride. How fun & exciting!
I have tears rolling down my cheeks from laughing so hard after reading this:
“May a syphilitic razor encrusted donkeys penis enter your ANOOS while you sleep Mrs Fucking Shopkeeper…”
AHAHHAHAHhahHAHahhahHAhhhahhah
I am going to go back next week while Boo is at school to see if the bitch is walking funny.
I can totally hook you up with a donkey and razor blades. I know people. But you’re on your own for the syphilis.
I have to say if I was nibbling scones with jam and cream I’d better be keeping an eye on my hipsters! They’re wide enough already….
I LOVE the @, where did MPS find it? He’s awesome! Not as awesome as you of course.
Congratulations to Boo for enjoyment and exemplary behaviour.
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