I fucking hate salad.
Except for Caesar salad or as I call it fat girls salad, cause what is not to love about carbs and bacon in creamy dressing with a side of green.
I think my deep hatred for salad stems from my mothers inability to cook ANYTHING and her idea of salad being limp vegetables coated in oil.
And then my attempt of being healthy and shit and making a nice crisp salad full of GOODNESS and HEALTH and NO FUCKING FLAVOUR and FAIL and PUNISHMENT BECAUSE OMG KELLEY HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE SALAD?!?
And then there is restaurant salad. That shit is recycled.
Don’t eat what is on your plate?
They just slip that shit on some poor unsuspecting motherfuckers plate and they catch lupus or something from the previous person.
MOTY told me.
Maybe so I wouldn’t taste what real salad was supposed to be like.
So this summer, instead of just gorging myself on fruit and cheese and chocolate and icecream during the scorching hot days I am going to try me some salad. Because apparently their is more to salad than lettuce and carrot.
Who motherfucking knew?
Help a bitch out, what is your favourite salad? And if I make it and like it I shall name it in your honour.
Like they do with sandwiches but awesomer cause it is motherfucking SALAD.