I have spent the last few hours trying to find the perfect words, the perfect image to convey what I am trying to say.
And I can’t.
I am spent.
Completely and utterly spent.
Fate.
Karma.
The universe.
Whatthefuckever you want to call it, has taken every single atom of strength I had left and I feel like a shell.
A shell of pain and woeisfuckingme.
I have given every ounce of strength I had left in me to deal with the last few weeks and now I am empty.
I have run out of pain medication – the only hope for more is another 6 hour wait in emergency or a couple of thousand dollar ambulance call out because of the trainee doctor I saw was only allowed to dispense three days worth of meds that I managed to ration out to last me five.
I have run out of space in my brain to deal with everything else.
I am going to indulge myself and lay here and wallow in self pity.
In my amazingly forcasted scheduled breakdown.
And take my anti-nausea meds and eat fudge.
The only thing I had the strength to make for Christmas and the only thing that wasn’t eaten.
Oh, it seems I have started the woeisfuckingme already.
Lucky you.
{I have some posts in draft that I may or may not post over the next few days/hours/whatever it takes to get my head outta my arse and reboot my awesomeness}

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