Alternative title that won’t show up on your commentluv and blogrolls and in glaring letters while your boss wanders past: IT IS ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING TUTORIAL BIATCHES – Lego Gummies edition.**
Don’t blame me, blame those crazy twitter people that saw the picture I Instagramed (it is so a word) and went all batshit crazy wanting a tutorial on how to make them BECAUSE CLEARLY I AM FAR AWESOMER THAN ANYONE at googling shizzle.
BTW my Instagram shite is in the sidebar over there on the right.
Unless you are reading this upside down and I would say VAMPIRES READ MY BLOG AS A BEDTIME STORY OMG and it is on your left.
OH and I made some vodka gummies too. Can you tell?
So behold tutorialnessnesserizing…
First you get some jelly crystals.
And send your husband out for a PACKET of gelatine and he comes back with TWO JARS and you need to sit down to contemplate the situation cause in your minds eye of the perfect motherfucking tutorial you would have 2 pretty packets sitting on the counter AND NOW YOU HAVE A JAR OMG CATASTROPHE!
And water. Or vodka. Or urine if you are in the desert but apparently you need to drink OTHER PEOPLES urine and not your own cause it is poisonous or something. And if you are contemplating drinking someone elses urine I am thinking perhaps you have bigger problems right now and probably should bookmark this tutorial to make at a later date. Or have at it, who am I? Your mother?
So you WEIGH 14 grams of the JAR TYPE gelatine *head explosion* instead of just looking on the box of how many grams in a sachet which would have been SO MUCH EASIER MPS but I guess not as hard as the poor Americans that have landed here and are all FUCK IT cause they have to convert it to their stupid measurement system.
Lets not tell them that I got the recipe from an American site and then had to convert from BOX OF KNOX GELATIN to grams.
As an aside: On what fucking planet is ‘add a box of this and a can of that to a package of this and bake for an hour a RECIPE? It is not a recipe it is a motherfucking SERVING SUGGESTION.
So you have your jelly and 14 grams of gelatine and 1/3 cup of water.
Best you be finding a mould BEFORE starting this tutorial.
OMG I suck at this.
Mine I got from Ebay. But you can also get them from Amazon but THOSE fuckers don’t ship that to Australia so they can suck my non existent male appendage.
So you put the cold water in a pot.
ACTION SHOT BIATCHES!
dump sprinkle the jelly and the gelatine over the water…
and stir it together with a fork and leave for 5 minutes while you go pee from all the vodka you were testing for purity before making said gummy legos.
Over a medium heat stir until the jelly and gelatine is dissolved and then pour into something with a spout to pour into moulds.
And then pour into the moulds.
So in less words (copy and paste THIS SHIT not the rant before hand)
1/3 cup of water in a small pot
sprinkle over an 85 gram pkt of jelly and 14 grams of gelatine
Stir and sit for 5 minutes
Cook over medium heat until gelatine is dissolved and then pour into moulds.
Let set (for quicker setting put them in the fridge for 20 minutes or so)
TADA! You are now a rocket scientist.
Your certificate is in the mail.
* Only my family and Ring In Ranga will understand the absolute HILARITY of that post title. Fuck I am hilarious. And exclusive.
** alternate alternate title: Why I will never be a food blogger cause it took me longer to make this post than it did to make four dozen of the gummies and my blog posts usually only take me the time to boil an egg, which I have no clue how to do but I am assuming that it is less than 5 minutes which includes googling for images to steal.