Fuck the fuckers and their fucking fucked up fucking opinions IT IS ALMOST BIRTHDAY WEEK HUZZAH!
Those of you that have been around a while will know that now it is the time to gird your loins cause Kelley turns into Party Planner Extraordinare, or the smart thing to do is disappear quietly into the ether until the party is over.
Which would be 30 October.
You have been warned.
So fuck all the shit that has been flung my way, I have cat like reflexes and some industrial strength bleach to wipe the excrement from the walls (figuratively AND literally speaking) and now we embark on Boo’s party of awesome.
So the majority of my posts – you know in between the self indulgent whining – will be party preparations where I show you how much better than you I am.
Heh.
Theme: Lego
Timeline: 2 weeks
Obstacles: MPS away for a week, BIL’s funeral, no Moo to help, Boo’s room not finished cause SOMEONE decided to go and have a brain fart and breakdown in the middle of renovations (how fucking selfish), work being arseholes, flat broke because of forementioned funeral and work being arseholes, Boo inviting 55 kids and counting, and 6 months of overgrowth in the yard.
But we will prevail or conquer or not lose our shit or disassociate or something.
First up is invitations… LEGO MAN invitations of course.
ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY CUTOUTS OF MOTHERFUCKING LEGO MEN THAT ARE THEN GLUED TOGETHER WITHOUT WINE FORTIFICATION I DESERVE A FUCKING MEDAL.
Front:
during the creative process… I couldn’t find the remote so I suffered through an episode of The Doctors, Ready Steady Cook AND fucking Judge Judy for mah art.
Back:
trimmed to the shape of the Lego Man and glued on, of course.
Did you catch that on the bottom? Water and food fights.
I am certifiable.
At least I remembered to ask them to bring a towel, right?
HUZZAH!
{previous years invitations: Harry Potter party. Carnival Party (takes you to my old party blog that I have forgotten the password to). Scooby Doo party}
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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, you’re insane. 55 kids and counting? Why the fuck would you DO that?!
Well… I am looking forward to the awesome, but, sheesh. I don’t even know what to say.
I didn’t invite that many. Boo did. Bastard child.
Those Lego Men!!!! Wowzee. The whole darned lot is just fabbo.
Am sure Boo & his 54 closest friends will appreciate & enjoy.
Go you!!
Foood fight! That’s so awesome!
Like… soft food, right? Not spikey pineapples frisbee slices, catapults of hard, raw potato or perhaps my dodgy meringues of crunchy hardness?
catapults of hard raw potato SOUNDS FREAKING AWESOME!
It will be jelly and cream.
I hope Boo has his best birthday yet! I’m sure it will be epic.
I turn 50 next year, I will be coming to you to help plan the food and water fights for my party.
Hellz to the yeah.
Seriously. Email me. I will help you plan.
Cause I love ya.
Now look what you’ve done. I wanna come and I hate kids birthday parties. But you’ve got cake, right? Of course you’ve got cake, you’ve always got fucking cake. Coz you’re domesitc like that.
Girl, just WAIT till you see the cake.
I hope the fucker works out cause it is going to take at least 3 DAYS to construct.
Wow Kel, your one amazing women!!
there was doubt?
You are definitely insane. Damn the PB event being held just now, I wanted to hug you in person.
Party will be awesome. Obstacles be damned. x
I wish I was going to be there… so freaking much!
I will hug you. And soon.
Eep! 55 kids? You be crazy girl! But I can’t wait to see all the fancy cakes and baked goods you come up with this year!
Perhaps you should move to the city and do this professionally.
I’m sure it’s not that easy, though. People are always telling me to make money from baking, as if I’m a character in a chick lit novel who gets her groove back. So sorry if that suggestion is irritating. You’d be so good at it though.
nah. Never get paid for the time put in.
Kinda like blogging. I am saving up for a chocolate bar with my ad revenue.
You are fucking amazing.
Insane, but amazing.
I love hearing about birthday week! It makes me feel like a total birthday loser, but I figure Noah doesn’t know any better, so it’s ok.
Don’t start. Cause then they expect bigger and better every year.
And then kids start asking if they are invited 6 months in advance.
And parents come up to you and COMPLAIN THAT THEIR CHILD IS NOT INVITED.
I so wish I was kidding.
You lost your remote?? That’s just unforgiveable!
I’m looking forward now to seeing pics of cakes and stuff because yours are the best! You really go all out for this stuff. You should get a job as a party planner, you’d be awesome!
As for the garden overgrowth, hire a goat for a day or so, those buggers will eat anything right down to the ground.
you know I am seriously contemplating the goat…
Wow. And it WILL be awesome, I know!
I’m about to have a nervous breakdown ahead of hosting and catering for my MIL’s 80th next Sunday… see you on the other side…
good luck gorgeous. You will rock it.
55 kids? Are you kidding me? Even Martha S would run screaming. Good luck babe!
thanks lovely… dunno if it is luck I need.
More a sunny day and plenty of valium
You are the Queen of Awesome. Or insane. This is why you deserve the cool shoes. x
word.
Can I come? I’ve never been in a food fight x
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