September 2011

I just found the perfect Post Vasectomy present or ‘Happy Pissing blood out your dick’ gift. I bet Hallmark didn’t think of a card for that shizzle.

$227 – I am not fucking kidding. From the website: Riedel – Decanter Black Tie Smile with Red Stripe The Black Tie Smile Decanter is a charming and utterly eye-catching way to serve your favourite wines at your next dinner party. With its curvaceous bulb-like design, this stunning decanter is accented with an elegant slick [...]

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My husband wont sleep with me any more.

Day-um I wish I could have seen his face when he saw the title of this post. It would have been EPIC. I have had a play with my Lexapro and discovered that contrary to the advice of my lovely Doctor this shit didn’t give me a little pep, it fucking slowed me down to [...]

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The coffee machine broke down so I spent my paycheck on a latte. I wish I was joking.

{source} So yesterday I went to work. It sucked. I have to go and see their doctors to prove I was ill. Despite the fact I had doctors certificates AND I was on long service leave which I should be allowed to spend any fucking way I like. Sure I would have preferred to spend [...]

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Remember how Boo liked to use my toothbrush as an anal cleansing instrument? I say USED TO because we are all in agreement that he doesn’t do that any more. Right? Excuse me while I go and wash my mouth out with bleach. Again.

Alternative title: Now I know why I hate celery. Alternative Alternative title: WHAT THE FUCK? To truly appreciate the FULL HORROR of this – oh yes, it will be worse trust me you NEED the back story – read this and this. It is OK, I will wait. I am gargling bleach. {source} Ribbed for [...]

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This pretty much sums it up.

yeah. I am working through some shit. I am putting the pieces together. Some things are going to be hard. So. Fucking. Hard. But for the good of everyone else they must be done. I can’t live like this any more. I WILL NOT live like this any more. It is not fair on anyone. [...]

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I’m wearing my new shoes to my psych appointment tomorrow. You know, so we have something to talk about. Heh.

Today I bought some new shoes. Cause shoes make me happy. Hello my pretties, I love you. Yesterday was hard, I only lasted a few hours at work before coming home and taking up my normal position of sitting on the couch staring at the wall above the television. Today was harder, shit went down [...]

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Bitch be pinnin’

I love pinterest. When everything is going to shit I put on my Daddy Ears (you know, the ones that cannot hear the two kids killing each other beside them on the floor, or the baby screaming blue murder in the middle of the night) and fucking CACK myself laughing at funny shit on the [...]

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The internet makes me happy.

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The plan.

I am still around, but not really. I am reading all of your tweets/facebook messages/emails/smoke signals. Packages and cards come in the mail and reduce me to tears. Happy grateful tears. I am reading. Just not saying much cause the words don’t come out right. I am swimming in a sea of thick high fructose [...]

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Big

Things got too big and I hid away from the world. Online and in real life. I have spent the last week watching the seasons 1 and 2 of Weeds, but don’t ask me what actually HAPPENED I was too busy contemplating my navel. I have taken more time off work and this time it [...]