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Random Rants and my iphone is psychic or psychotic or maybe it is all in my head.

by Kelley

in a mind is a terrible thing to waste

I have my iPhone on shuffle in the car and it only plays Nirvana.

I have like FOUR MILLION SONGS and it either plays MPS’s doof doof or Nirvana.

Now I love Nirvana but I wonder if the fucker is trying to tell me something…

……………………..

Boo left his classroom hysterically crying yesterday.  One of his classmates came up to me and said that the teacher was teasing Boo constantly.  Making noises that make Boo upset.

I asked Boo about it and he said he didn’t want to talk about it. *alarm bells* And then later that it wasn’t true.

What the fuck do I do with that?

…………………….

I go back to work next week.

Fuck

…………………….

I called to make an appointment with a psychologist that my doctor suggested and the earliest appointment is nearly 2 months from now.

Good thing I am not fucking suicidal.

What is WRONG with this fucking mental health system?

Oh and she will charge $150.

Fuck that shit.  I am going on a bender with my Twitter biatches and buying some new shoes and whine here and I bet it will do a hell of a lot MORE to help me than paying some chick to listen to my problems and tell me to motherfucking breathe.

Tell me to breathe.  I will give you a buck.

……………………….

Every day I have big plans.

HUGE things that I am going to get done.

And then I get sucked into the vortex of Twitter.

I love you Twitter.  You are my crack.

………………………

I can’t go to the next blogger meetup in Melbourne.

I couldn’t swing the airfare for the one this weekend.

Someone needs to organise something around MY MOTHERFUCKING SCHEDULE and then pay me to go.

Yeah.  Someone get on that.

……………………..

I have two lottery tickets in my purse.

I need to check them to see if I have won anything.

Yet I don’t.

Cause there is that little bit of hope that they will bring me millions.

And that hope helps me dream.

……………………..

Today was the day that I was going to drink water and take my vitamins and eat healthily.

So far I haven’t even thought about taking any meat out for dinner.

Drank half a glass of water.

Ate two massive hunks of chocolate

and had 3 lattes.

I am fucking awesome at this shit.

I might celebrate with a burger on my way to pick up Boo.

…………………………

Tell me your random shit, I love me some random shit.

Alternatively, if you have any answers to the above mysteries of the universe then I am all ears.

Well not literally, cause that would be weird.  But may explain why my arse looks funny in these jeans.

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Tagged as: Autism and school, blogger get togethers, blogger meetup, drink more water, get healthy, iphone, lottery tickets, mental health system, mental health system in Victoria, Nirvana, Twitter, twitter is crack, why does my arse look funny in these jeans, winning the lottery

{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Teresa McNamara August 17, 2011 at 1:41 pm

No, No, No, No, Tell the Psychologist that you cannot pay $150 per session and if they have any shred of human decency they can bulk bill you for 12 sessions in the calendar year.

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2 Kelley August 19, 2011 at 1:00 pm

I will give it a go Tess. Cause how on earth can ANYONE afford that?

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3 jodieodie August 17, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Sweetheart what Tess said.
here have a look
http://www.psychology.org.au/medicare/fact_sheet/

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4 jodieodie August 17, 2011 at 2:17 pm

It’s a specific scheme. First your GP has to do two things – fill out a detailed mental health assessment and prepare a Mental Health Treatment Plan. Then with that tucked under your wing, you can go to a registered psychologist for 12 visits. They may bulk bill you completely, or if not, you’d only pay the gap. If your GP is decent, who don’t you give them a call about this? They’ll know.

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5 Sharon @ Pandamoanium August 17, 2011 at 6:45 pm

$150 is her gap. Her GAP!

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6 jodieodie August 17, 2011 at 8:53 pm

No way! that’s shit. That’s just greed.
how helpful can she be?

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7 Kelley August 19, 2011 at 1:02 pm

who knows… but if she has such a huge waiting list then I am thinking she MUST be good.

And yes, I have a mental health plan. I have to go back to him after 6 visits to be reassessed. I guess he is waiting to see if this will help with some of the stress and the stroke after effects.

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8 Jenbug August 17, 2011 at 2:17 pm

In order:
-You smell like teen spirit. Change your deodorant.
-Tell that bitch to meet you in the parking lot after school and run his or her ass over with your car. I’ll bet those noises won’t upset Boo.
-Suck it up, Sally! At least you got a vacation.
-Breathe. Now, where’s my money?
-You are getting things done. They’re just not the things you had planned. Maybe The Twitter knows what you need better than you do. That’s another reason it should be your therapist!
-Schedule the meetup yourself. Then tell yourself to breathe until you pay yourself enough to go.
-I think your lottery ticket plan is working out quite well. Don’t fix what isn’t broken.
-So, today you’ve become a hydrated vegetarian who has ingested enough calcium to ward off osteoporosis. Bonus!

Ta da! All crises averted. You’re welcome.

I still want my buck.

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9 Kelley August 19, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Awesome.

Here is your buck http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/enlarge/buck-mule-deer_pod_image.html

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10 Jenbug August 19, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Now, where in hell am I supposed to spend that thing, woman?! It looks a little pokey and stabby. Urg.

Oh, I know! I’ll take it to the next taxidermist’s convention. Hell yeah! I’ll bet I can trade it for something that I can spend, like beaver pelts. Just call me ‘Trader Jen.’

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11 Jayne August 17, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Failing that try the ACU Melbourne Psychology and Counselling Clinic – sessions are between $20 – $70, damn sight cheaper.
Random shit – Feral Teen loves the homework club at his new school and he still hates sultanas.

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12 Kelley August 19, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Boo loves sultanas.

And they float.

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13 Jenbug August 17, 2011 at 2:20 pm

PS: Your iPhone is psychotic. I’d watch my back, if I were you.

That one’s free.

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14 Mrs Woog August 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm

I cannot stop eating vita wheats with cheesymite.

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15 Kelley August 19, 2011 at 1:05 pm

want.

Dammit.

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16 amandab August 17, 2011 at 2:44 pm

I was going to say the same as Jodie above. If your Dr refers you with the right paperwork it should only cost $25-$30. Been there, done that. Talking helps, but only if you can solve issues. Having to tell people how I really feel about them? Yet, not gonna happen.

We should have a blogger get fit campaign. Can we get sponsors for that? Make Max Brenner can pay you not to eat their macarons?And then you can use the money saved from their sponsorship and not eating macarons to go to blogging conferences. Problem solved!

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17 Kelley August 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Max Brenner don’t have macarons.

CLEARLY you don’t know me at ALL!

OMG! *flings hair over shoulder and flounces out of the room dramatically*

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18 amandab August 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

So the macarons are Lindt? How would I know? The only one I’ve ever had is that one from Starbucks?! I’m so sheltered ….*cowers in the corner*

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19 Sam @ Learn. Create. Do. August 17, 2011 at 3:18 pm

I’d rather Nirvana than doof doof any day.
Keep an eye on Boo and the teacher and say something if needed.
Work sucks.
The crap thing is, after your 12 sessions are up you either stop getting help or pay full fare. My initial consult was 400! and he hasn’t even done anything yet.
and I forgot what I was going to say for the rest of em, oh yeah I’m not going to melb either 🙁

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20 Kelley August 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm

we will go to the next one.

And we will hug.

Like in Sydney.

Cause you are FABULOUS.

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21 Amanda August 17, 2011 at 5:44 pm

I have no short term memory left. My entire life is random shit.

Remember, you can claim most of the $150 back on medicare (make sure you have a referral from your GP).

…and call the teacher. Tell them about his behaviour and tell him/her that you were told by an independent party that his/her behaviour seemed questionable.
Actually, scratch that. Put it in writing to the principal and ask for a response within the week. S/he may fob you off, but you can bet your bottom dollar that the teacher will get a rocket .

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22 Kath August 17, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Feel free to tell me to F off because you’ve already covered this, but could it maybe be that kid/another who is making noises to upset Boo and trying to pin/have it pinned on the teacher? It was just a thought, especially with the way you described some of the other kids there.

Random shit – I have a revision session with the lecturer who hates my guts tomorrow. Her hate possibly exacerbated by the fact that she disliked me for no reason, then heard me bitching about her in the corridor, but at least now she has an actual reason.

Oh and my iPod thinks it’s French. It keeps randomly switching to an azerty keyboard, and French autocorrect.

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23 Sharon @ Pandamoanium August 17, 2011 at 6:43 pm

My bestie has a deal with her shrink, who also doesnt bulk bill. This one asked what she could afford to pay each session. So she pays $20. If you cant get an earlier/cheaper appointment maybe you could organise a deal with your Unicorn Oracle.

Twitter is my crack too.

I am supposed to drink water. Lots of water. But I drink coffee. How does that work with Lithium?

Today I was going to finish sorting out the kids toys. But I spent the day in bed. I was also going to write a brilliant blog post. See previous sentence.

Re Boo: I would be going down to the school and ripping someone a new one. Anyone. Then I would talk to the teacher. With a big stick.

Whine and bitch away, we’ll listen to you. We might even offer some personal experience from which you can take information and a whole lot of support. Which is a hell of a lot more than you will get from your expensive High Priestess.

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24 Mich August 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm

ok,
Breathe woman!
I agree, the iphone has problems. Foo Fighters I could live quite happily with.
I agree- go see your gp about getting free sessions with the medicare program. I got 5 sessions with a dietician one year and 5 with a physio a couple of years before.

And maybe you could afford the Perth meetup, its not this weekend, but next (27th Aug)

I also agree- that twitter is crack. Lori (RRSAHM) warned me last year that it is highly addictive. Hubby almost took the modem to work with him the other day so I might actually get some housework done.

But as long as yor iphone doesnt start playing Beiber, You’ll be ok.

-Mich
(@Knowmich)

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25 Shae August 17, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Breathe

I’m addicted to bad reality tv like my strange addiction & embarrassing bodies

I’m scared of photo evidence in your iPhone

I know all the words to the Tangled soundtrack & sing it all the time

I’m homesick

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26 A Daft Scots Lass August 17, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Go buy yerself a nice pair of killer heels to the value of $150 instead of seeing the quack. It least it will put a smile on yer face.

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27 Cadi's Mum August 17, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Breathe.

I used to see a psychologist. Then I joined an art class. Much cheaper ($25 a week rather then $150). And you get to talk about whatever you want with the retired people that do the class with you. We even have a lady who brings freshly baked bickies every week. Definite win.

I think you should ask the teacher what is going on. Politely, as if you have heard something, but are not quite sure how it relates. Then let him/her incriminate themself, erm, put their side of the story?

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28 Gnometree August 17, 2011 at 7:46 pm

my best friend is in labour. right now.

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29 Riayn August 17, 2011 at 7:57 pm

jodieodie speaks the truth. I got a Mental Health Care Plan when I had my Asperger’s related breakdown last year which made my, in hindsight, completely fucking useless pysch sessions a hell of a lot cheaper. A word of warning, if your pysch tells you to eat a raisin mindfully and spends most of the session on breathing techniques, get the hell out of there. Same things goes for wanting to blame everything on your mother. Seriously, my pysch blamed my Asperger’s on my relationship with my mother and this guy apparently was supposed to be an expert on dealing with adults with autism.
Rant about pysch now over.

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30 Nathalie August 17, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Dear Queen Biatch
My iPhone changes ‘are so’ to arseholes
Tell me your address I’ll come with red wine and pizza, need a bit of notice to get a nurse in for my mum.
I’m happy to be your sort out stuff biatch for free or one of your tatts as I missed out on getting one.
I study behaviour and pschology and the most I’ve learnt is from the kids and families I work with.
I’m spanish
I have small boobs
signing off your loyal servant Nx

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31 Dorothy August 17, 2011 at 11:05 pm

I want a loyal servant. And red wine and pizza. My kids don’t like pizza. They make me tired…

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32 river August 17, 2011 at 10:41 pm

I know nothing about doctors, psychologists, or mental health, but can I suggest you remove all Nirvana and doof-doof from your i-phone and tell MPS to have his own i-phone with his doof-doof. That’s one less stress for you. When your i-phone has been behaving itself, reward it with one or two Nirvanas.
And get to the bottom of the school thing via the Principal before things get out of hand. Boo is too preciousand houldn’t be compromised in any way.

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33 Dorothy August 17, 2011 at 11:04 pm

Nirvana and doof doof need to go.

Why don’t I know about this weekend’s meet-up? I set up a Facebook group and everything! Not that I can go with kids.

Nobody ever tells me anything. Always feel left out. So I just make my own way, my own fun.

Take that “in crowd”!

I was wondering whether, given you’ve suffered an illness that is making you unfit for work, you should not be able to access your super? And be pensioned out?

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34 Chookie Inthebackyard August 17, 2011 at 11:36 pm

The iPhone is telling you that you aren’t quite ready for Ocean Grove yet.
I reckon an art class sounds good too. And I am completely inartistic.

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35 Gina August 18, 2011 at 12:43 pm

OK, you see, I went and applied for this position on the interwebs about being an “expert” for the county I live in for a well-known website.

I didn’t get the job.

But of course I went to check out the biatch (I kid, I kid) who DID get the job, and lo and behold, she has you in her blogroll!

So I left her a comment on her blog about how I was all ready to hate on her, but then saw that she links to you, and how the hell could I hate someone who lurves you?

She emailed me back and so now we are friends and I heretofore nominate one awesome KELLEY for a Nobel fucking Peace Prize.

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36 Ann August 18, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Random shit ahoy:

I can barely move after my first boot camp session on Tuesday night. I am going again tonight. I paid nearly $300 to meet some young hot guy in the park at night. So he can yell at me that if I walk instead of run, he’ll make everyone do burpees. At least I can help out by making everyone else feel good that they’re NOT last!

I have 16974 emails in my Gmail inbox (yes, nearly 17 thousand). 15116 are unread. Probably 23 of them are worth reading and another 8 of them worth saving.

Oh, and I ordered two Butler Bags at half price from the US. Haven’t told DH as we’re supposed to be saving for a) a big holiday next year and b) to build a new house. Am thinking I’ll tell him he can give me one for my birthday/Xmas. The other one might go at the back of the wardrobe and be pulled out in a year or two. “What? This?? Nah, I’ve had it for ages and found it in the cupboard so thought I’d use it.”

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37 Gawker August 18, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Hello there. 🙂 My (get this now!) ex-husband referred me to your blog, and I love it. Even though my autistic boo is starting school in less than a week and this post has now given me one more thing to worry about. What the fuck, the teacher was making noises to scare him. I’d be tempted to sew her mouth closed so it didn’t happen again. My boo won’t talk about things that upset him.

You’ve been bookmarked, and I look forward to catching up on the million entries I’ve not read yet, and everything to come.

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38 Teresa McNamara August 19, 2011 at 4:18 pm

I was going to be charged a $40 gap even with the GP Mental Health Care Plan so I actually rang and cancelled my first appointment and her receptionist rang me back an hour later and said that psychologist had offered to bulk bill the lot. She has turned out to be really good value in far more than just a monetary sense!

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