Right now I am motherfucking multitasking.
I am writing 5 blog posts (that will probably never be published), watching The Circle and eating macarons while ignoring the massive suitcase to my right that needs unpacking and the bills that haven’t been opened, the forms that need filling out, the fact that I have less than a week before I have to return to work and I have done fuck all for my recovery and the other shit that I should be doing but I have totally forgotten about.
It is totally exhausting being this awesome.
I should write an e-book.
I have considered going for a walk today, you know for the endorphins and shit – not because I have put on ten motherfucking kilos since March and I feel like Violet Beauregarde.
But not violet coloured… obviously. *shudder*
And then I got an email.
From the Australian Pensioners Insurance Agency.
A newsletter all about RETIREMENT and coping with being a fucking OLD PERSON and how Margaret from Ocean Grove won an old peoples car.
Methinks they have heard about my old lady meds.
I may just go for that motherfucking walk and go and buy some wrinkle cream.
And unsubscribe from this newsletter that I must have subscribed to while I was stroking out or something.
But first let me finish these macarons.
And maybe take a nanna nap.