OMG I have so much to tell you.
But right now, I am overwhelmed by everything.
I have a billion posts in draft and I cannot bring myself to finish them.
I have a gazillion things I want to share but the words just wont come.
I am overwhelmed by the wonderful things.
I am overwhelmed by the insignificant things.
Work is hard.
Home is hard.
Great things are hard.
Hard things are hard
*snigger*
Vertigo and emotional instability is motherfucking hard.
Even posting a blog post is sending me into a freak out.
I think I went back to normal too early.
But I am too scared to ask for help or just a little bit of compassion.
Apparently I don’t look sick.
Apparently I don’t sound sick.
Lets face it, technically I am recovering from a brain injury.
Brain damage.
How is that supposed to look?
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m sorry it’s all hard right now. Cut yourself some slack right now and ask for the help and compassion. Really. I have no idea how it’s supposed to look after what you have been through so my best guess is that trusting your instincts is the best thing you could be doing. Sending love xx
thankyou sweetie. I hate that I keep posting Emo shit but I kinda need to, ya know?
It is either that or take up smoking again. Heh.
I’m posting emo shit AND still smoking. Eeeek! x
FOUR MONTHS since I gave up! HUZZAH!
You gotta do what you gotta. I will be here reading emo shit or any other thing you write. I think that sometimes about writing about autism too but fark, there are joys in it but a lot of the time it just sucks xx
i will not smoke i will not smoke i will not smoke i will not smoke
Come to Sydney. I’ll look after you and we’ll be buzzed together every day off Tequila and vodka cocktails, yes?
xx
find me a babysitter who is not terrified of giant toddlers and a sponsor for the airfare and the copious amounts of alcohol required and I will go all When Harry Met Sally.
I want to come too! 😛
be as emo as you need to be.
hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs
You’re allowed to Emo all you like.
Well done on giving up the fags!
(((hugs))) It gets easier…one day at a time with deep breaths xxx
Oh Kelley, I totally get it. I just started back to work FT last week for the first time since February! (PTSD). And yeah, it’s weird when someone can’t look at you and say, ‘oh, I see that you have this glaring wound, that must be hard.’ There is no timeline, there is no right way to feel, there is no handbook for this kind of thing. Just wing it babe and take it day by day. Lean on those of us who have been with you as you’ve walked this road. xo
I think you’re meant to be doing crazy eyes and drooling. Maybe you need to practise harder.
xx
Im thinking (((hugs))) are totally uncool these days but don’t really give a stuff as I say massive (((hugs))) to you :). People might not be able to see it but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Can you take some time for you anytime soon? (i know it’s hard). Thinking of you :). And no need to apologize for the emo, it would be worse not letting it out!
I so know that feeling. Please go easy on yourself, even though I also know also how impossible that can be.
If anyone can bring emo back, it’s you! x
I am glad that (a) there are wonderful things even if they are overwhelming and (b) you still snigger when you write hard things 🙂 Loads of hugs, I hope things get easier and that help and compassion come without you even needing to ask.
Congrats on not smoking, Kelley! Thats hard, fucking hard! I was 6 months on the 2 of July
Kelley, you don’t have to be super-woman. Take it easy when you can and ask for help when you need it. God knows you deserve a break 🙂
If there is ever anything I can do for you I’m only an email away xx
Never Ever be afraid to ask for help. You’ve earned it. Take all the help that’s offered.
Hugs from Adelaide.
xoxoxo
I think it’s supposed to look a little like this… so you’re good.
Eden waz ere.
Thinking of you, my love. A lot XOX
Well, Meh is something.
but recovering from brain injury is sounding more like I feel tonight …. “shitenhausen”….
maybe you need a tshirt like this to remind people:
http://image.spreadshirt.net/image-server/image/composition/22996738/view/1/type/png/width/178/height/178/cartoon-brain-t-shirts_design.png
Maybe with a caption like “ouch” or “fragile”.
mmm, BRAINZ.
Perhaps if you take to drooling a little at random moments?
Asking for help is the new awesome. It’s okay to do that.
Hang a sign around your neck? OR just start wearing sensible shoes and people will know there is some serious shit going on xxx
you are supposed to have a bandage on your head. didn’t they tell you?
get a bandage.
My prescription? Buy more shoes.
No honey, this fricking sucks. You don’t deserve the crap, you only deserve all the wonderfulness.
And when I see you in Melbourne I’m totally buying you a drink. And giving you my boobs to brand!
I say your doctor needs to give you some advice about your working life, and that you need to adhere strictly to it. Especially advice concerning chocolate.
Sheesh I hope everything is ok! Demand that compassion! Don’t they know who you are? 😉
Ya know, you might really like my friend Christine over at http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/ – I’ve been following her around the Internet for what seems like forever (really? 8 years?). This post reminds me very much of the reasons she started the site despite the fact that her “unseen ailment” is Lupus, not brain injury.
It’s one of those things that apparently most of humanity doesn’t get – some of the most debilitating conditions we can suffer from don’t show up to the casual observer.
Hang in there!!
As somebody who also suffers from illnesses that people can’t see, I sympathise with your situation. People are arseholes because, let’s face it, there are way more illnesses that you can’t see than illnesses that you can. Not looking sick means NOTHING. Stupid people. It’s a hard thing to ask for (and accept) help but let me tell you there is only so much coping that you and your body can do. I tend to want to be perfect and in control and in charge. I don’t want to be THAT person, the one that needs people to understand, the vulnerable one. I’ve found, though, that people are more willing to understand than I would have thought. At least the people who count. Any motherfucker who doesn’t help when you’re pretty much prostrating yourself before them deserves a punch in the face.
xxxxx