Last night I did something that I have been pining to do for years.
Something that I have been sitting here seething with jealousy when people casually tweet it, like it is something that anyone can do any time.
I would go to the website and pretend. Wishing for the day that I could join in.
And today, after the fruits of my labours last night, is the day I have been waiting for.
OMG I DID MY GROCERY SHOP ONLINE!
I think I am gunna squee now.
So fucking excited I may pop a blood vessel.
Calm, Kelley, calm.
So this evening, between the hours of 4 and 7pm, someone will come and drop off my groceries and I didn’t have to venture into the horror that is the Mecca of The Great Unwashed to collect!
No stupid fucking old ladies with their walking sticks standing in the middle of the aisle contemplating which high fibre cereal will give them more dump for their buck.
No screaming children hanging off toppling shopping trolleys while their bleach blonde mother wearing leggings as pants with ugg boots updates her Facebook relationship status to ‘it’s complicated’.
No smelly braless feral taking up my personal space at the checkout purchasing discounted donuts and NO GODDAMN SOAP.
Oh the bliss.
I will update you all later because I KNOW you are as excited as me that home shopping has now arrived at Bum Fuck Nowhere.
There may even be pictures.
UPDATED: I just got home from the four billion mile round trip to Boo’s specialist school to an email saying one of the items I ordered is unavailable. The item that is VITAL for what I was planning on cooking for dinner tonight. Fuck it.
Still hopeful and damn excited though.
And LOVING how many of you are seething with jealousy of my online grocery shopping fortune. HUZZAH!
UPDATED: I squeed all over Instagram (twitter peeps would have seen and there is a pic in my sidebar over there –>) when it arrived but I have been shopping TWICE today to pick up things I forgot.
And I just thought of something else.
I WILL ROCK THE ONLINE GROCERY SHIZZLE! MARK MY WORDS BIATCHES!