I am having a moment. Or a series of moments. Or an epic fucktonne of moments. So I have a few of my biatches posting for me for a little while… I mean COME ON you saw the last post.
I will save you from more of that.
You are totally welcome.
Second in line of my guest biatches is the lovely Glowless from where’s my glow?
If you’re related to me, you might wanna click away now… because it’s “business time”.
The last 18 months have been an interesting time in the bedroom at Casa de Glow.
In the weeks after Tricky was born, anyone mentioning the ‘S’ word within ear shot would have found themselves with burn marks in their soul, so powerful was my evil eye stare. I inwardly ranted about stitches and bruising but hey, at least I didn’t say it out loud, I’m a lady you know; I don’t say that shit in polite company… I just blog it.
But in the lead up to his birth? Well, that’s a different story. With all the raging hormones, combined with the fact that for the first time in my life I actually liked my body, I became a bit of a sex machine. Map Guy thought all his Christmases, Kwanzaas and Hanukkahs had come at once, such was my appetite for all things nookie.
While he was at work I would devour erotic books and videos and the moment he would walk through the door I would jump on him. No “How was your day, honey?”, no moment to rest. Pants off, now!
Then the child was born…
Gone were the rock hard abs (the only time I’ll ever have rock hard abs is when there is a baby in my belleh), gone were the lovely sexy hormones and gone was the uninterrupted sleep that I had taken for granted. In its place was a matching set of under eye bags and a loathing of being touched that only cracked nipples and engorged breasts can bring. I was fun to be around.
Our lover’s nest was all of a sudden transformed; crowded with a new baby bird, hungry and squawking. Our bed which once beckoned us for sexy time cuddles now stood there mocking me; “Why sleep? The baby will be awake in a minute.”
Slinky nighties and sexy underwear were replaced with flannelette PJs and plain knickers. Sexy? No. Practical? Yep. Comfortable? Fuck yeah!
The aftermath of the birth was therefore a shock to both our systems. We both knew that post-baby coitus would be different but it was a steep learning curve.
So here we are almost a year later and our sex life still hasn’t quite returned to its pre-pregnancy status but we’re *ahem* working on it, one drunken, support underwear wearing night at a time.
How much did babies change your sex life?