I have a cold.
And I am fucking miserable.
It has been a loooooooooong time since I have been plagued with this lurgy, I usually prefer more exotic illnesses that I will not list here as it gets all the trolls riled up if I mention my torn Achilles, or suprapinatis tendonitis, or bulging neck disc or stroke or glandular fever and whooping cough at the same time and then that one time with the whole belly explosion erupting appendix with a side of exploding pus filled ovary…
Ooops. I mentioned it.
Here. A picture just for you.
You are welcome.
I rocked all that shizzle looking fab and wearing kick arse heels.
Right now I am sitting here greasy haired (even though I washed it yesterday) snot filled, weepy eyed and with a motherfucker of a headache.
And don’t even get me started on the sore throat and whole mouth breathing thing.
Fuck.
I cannot rock this bitch of a look.
And if I find out who gave me this ratfucksonofabitch fucker of a cold I will be removing their pancreas via their rectum.
Once I get the energy to do it.
PS: some one make me hot chocolate.
PPS: don’t forget the motherfucking marshmallows or I will cut you
PPPS: I probably won’t cut you, but I might cry. Probably.
PPPPS: did that last one make any sense at all?
PPPPPS: Damn these old lady anti brain fart drugs preventing me from taking cold medicine.
PPPPPPS: I think I just sneezed out part of my brain.
PPPPPPPS: I just joined Pinterest. Be my friend? If you want an invite to join leave me a comment here and I will send you one cause I am nice like that and a little delirious from teh fevah.
{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
HA! I love that pic 🙂 Will you share an invite with little ol’ me? I love Pinterest!
done my love.
your life is complete because we are PINTEREST friends now!
also: now i understand why you’re on pinterest… who knew they had things with swear words on them?!
you can make your own labels with swear words on them! OMG LOVE!
I would make you hot chocolate, but you need to find a sponsor to fly me there to do it. Okay?
OR you could hire someone to bring me some.
Easy.
:Passes tissues and a hot toddy:
…and I friended you on pinterest biatch
asses tissues… are they the same as the bedding that Boo uses as toilet paper?
Oooooh, that picture is THE best thing I’ve seen all week. I’m going to print it out and stick it on the fridge.
It cracked me up for hours.
Try working with the Great Unwashed Public — for extra unwashedness, students — free colds every fortnight. Just had my flu jab this week. Hoping not to get a second round of whooping cough, but that’s the most exotic disease they’ve given me so far.
Though after last week, when I heard/saw a student entering a toilet cubicle while on the phone, weeing while on the phone, flushing while on the phone, and pretending to wash her hands while on the phone, I am sure cholera is only a handshake away.
we have a woman at work that has a penchant for drinking out of the taps in the ladies loo. Even though we have 7 kitchens in the building.
What the heck is Pinterest??
Hope you get over that cold soon.
It is sent from the devil. Awesome.
Here’s some hot chocolate *while protecting her rectum*
I am not tasting it. I am not feeling the healing goodness of the melted chocolate warming my soul… I am sharpening my knives.
Pity it did have the mini marshmallows in it. Och well, my rectum is save. Retreat! Retreat!
Cold tab + a wine + hot bath
I wish. Old lady anti brain fart meds prevent me from taking any cold meds.
But I might go have spa with a glass of red. HUZZAH!
Don’t say I didnt warn you about Pinterest……………..LOL
that shit is crackalicious.
Awesome picture! I hope you get better soon.
Oh poor you. Be well lovely. And would love a pinterest invite too xx
I really, really love that picture.
Also… Hot chocolate.. with Marshmellows.. Sounds really good about now.
Someone also kindly shared a cold with me and my kids. I will be hunting them asap.
Would love an invite to pintrest too.. Please!
After the day I have had, that photo was just what I needed. 🙂 If only I could have an attitude like that…
Colds all round here too. Stupid timing given we’re right in the middle of our own “silly season” (putting the crop in). Feeling stretched very thin and fighting to stave off the lurgies myself (I can feel them swanning around my body just waiting to grab a hold).
Please invite me to pinterest too!!! I saw your page via twitter and it looks cool- LOVED the quote page.
Get better soon babe- hope you are feeling tip top tomorrow!
Get better soon!
And pinterest? You’re late for that party, woman. Better step up your game. 😉
I already have a sore rectum, so please don’t hurt it. I’m pinterested in pinterest. An invite would be fab.
I would make you a hot chocolate if I lived near you…
Scotch.
Or bourbon…or Ouzo…or margaritas…all medicinal, of course.
Oh no babe! I made you some hot chocolate. Sent it in a ziplock to you 😉 Get better soon!
I love that photo!!!!!! Just printed it and put it on the bulletin board by the phone.
sorry you’re sick.
OMG your awesomeness knows no bounds. You were the second one in two mins to recommend pinterest this morning and OMG it too is awesome. Please please pretty please can you invite me? You already have such pretty things and you are awesome and I’m sure you rock even a cold, cause you’re totally awesome.
If I actually could, I would be making you hot chocolate with marshmallows, and probably some peanut butter and chocolate cookies (cause yum!). Hopefully you’re fever leaves you delirious enough to invite me and to embed the memory of cookies and hot choc LOL
Suzie
I just fucking love you.
Sick or not…I just… what flutter said because even though I am your minion and will do anything for you I just cant write that word but I can write firetrucking and you will understand what I mean.
Hope you feel better soon xx
That frog rocks. You rock more.