That is what I see the majority of the time I sit at my laptop.
It has taken me 12 motherfucking minutes to get THIS FAR in this post.
Sometimes to reply on twitter I can go and fix a 12 course meal and come back and find that fucking thing STILL WHIRLING AWAY OMG!
{I say 12 course meal as an example, and while I am quite capable of producing a 12 course meal and it would blow your fucking mind with its awesomeness, I am exagerating for EFFECT because clearly if that whirly gig thing was still there after I had prepared a 12 course meal the laptop would have become a weapon of mass destruction as preparing a 12 course meal in my stupid arsed kitchen would send me a little bit cranky hence using it as an example because even if I WASN’T preparing a 12 course meal the pissedofedness would still be at Defcon 1 or 5 or whichever is the bad one but I can’t google it cause it will take nine motherfucking hours for the page to come up cause my damn computer is fucking with me.}
So I need a new computer to continue producing this fine quality ENTERTAINMENT that tens of you keep coming back for.
Or at the very least a new hard drive.
Or an iPad.
Heh.
I see I have a few options:
1: Prostitution. Which is not that profitable as I live in the country and those bitch whore livestock just give it away for free.
2: Theft. That would mean putting down my latte and well… meh.
3: Begging. I am a motherfucking princess and one does not beg when one is a motherfucking princess.
So I am going with a combo of the three.
Advertising.
Yeah, I have had ads up here for a while but those that are there are either up for renewal or about to be.
How would YOU like to see your blog/business/arsecheeks smiling out from this blog of awesomeness?
For the low low rate of ONE MILLION DOLLARS* you can be seen by tens of people every day week time people will SEE YOU!
So if you would like to advertise on this here blog of fucking awesomeness email me at mb2kelley {at} gmail {dot} com and you too can have a taste of what it feels like to be fucking awesome.
Duh.
*not really, my rates are fucking CHEAP but lets not tell anyone that and just PRETEND that you paid one million dollars for ad space on my awesome blog. It is totally a win win situation, I look like I am worth millions of dollars just to add MOTHERFUCKER to a smattering of other random words and YOU look like you could just waste a million dollars on anything you like! You could be all ‘well I WAS going to light a candle/wipe my arse/ shred and use as bunny bedding this ONE MILLION DOLLARS but was bored and it was easier to just transfer it via paypal to mb2kelley{at}gmail{dot}com so she could buy a laptop fit for a princess. Awesomeness.
UPDATED FOR CLARIFICATIONIZATIONISIM: You don’t have to have a business to advertise. Blogs, website, your mama’s awesome carrot cake recipe posted on Facebook… whatever. Fill my sidebar with pictures of your chin whiskers or your dog.
But no cats.
I fucking hate cats.
Magnetoboldtoo is sponsored by:
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
Not at the moment, would love to, but am currently in the process myself. More to pay of my damn credit card than anything else :\ Thus the Range Rover post the other day.
do you think that they will give me a Range Rover?
Cause I will totally put a picture of it in my sidebar…
Heh
sure.
who is “they” ?
That’s also to say, you know if people want to sponsor ME instead, they’re quite welcome to. Or as well if they have two million around
*sigh* Would never steal your glory. Or would I? mwahaha
I will transfer one million dollars to you immediately. I have it in monopoly money – we used to play such loooong endless games that we ran out of money and made our own. I have about 7 mil cos I’m awesome.
When redeeming said monopoly money for iPad, please don’t be alarmed by the men in white coats that come to get you – just play nice, OK? x
I heard a rumour that you have an iPad. Methinks you should send it to someone in need.
Like me.
Nope, not got one. Waiting patiently but still no sign of it.
you’d better get it. otherwise there WILL be trouble
Hmmm… exactly how much are we talking?
And also, DEFCON 1 is the bad one
if you are serious my love, shoot me an email and we can talk.
Can I pay you in valium and other pills of the happy variety?
No?
S’ok, just pass the pretty coloured whirligig thing, it beats staring at my walls.
alas when the whirligig thing (which is TOTALLY the technical term for it) appears I notice the walls again.
And they start closing in on me. Star Wars style.
Alas, I have nothing to sell that warrants advertising but this is the best post I’ve read that asks for investors! Best of luck that Donald Trump pops over, I think he needs all the help he can get!
you compelled me to update the post.
Thanks.
And I hope that that freaky haired dick DOESN’T turn up on my blog.
So… how much for you to put a photo of a kitten in the sidebar?
my first reaction was ‘YOUR FACE’ and then on second thoughts I decided to go with ‘TWO MIIIIIIIIILLION Dollars’
Or a hard drive.
Or the change in your couch.
Fuck I hate that damn rainbow bitch.
How ’bout we make a deal: I’ll give you $20, and I get to choose the kitten.
I was just about to email you a picture of my fucking cat? Jaysus, whats wrong with you? Pickles would be VERY fucking offended.
I’d advertise my Mooncup with you but unfortunately all your followers are sheep shaggers and my market is not in Oz FFS!
Don’t get an iPad they fucking suck donkey dick!
I foster abandoned kittens so that potentially complicates things……*wanders off to think*
I wish I could give you an i-pad. I don’t have one or I would because I like your honesty and integrity. x
4. Hold someone hostage? Someone with an iPad perhaps?
I’d love to darling but I just spent 3 hours in the kitchen baking so that we would have bread and snacks for school lunches until next Thursday. Having a slightly unfortunate cash/food situation here but I have FLOUR so we won’t starve but ads are a bit beyind the budget. xx
Next week. Or when I get some sponsors of my very own that aren’t charity ads. Either/either.
HOW CAN YOU HATE CATS?
Cute widdle fuzzy joy makers, they are.
I LOVE cats. Especially the white meat.
When was the last time you ran a malware/virus scan on your system? I assume you have broadband (and no, that’s a three piece combo that only plays “Chick” music) and not dialup, so you’re right – it probably IS your computer that’s AFU. If you want my guidance, expertise, and anything else I can manage from 12,000 miles away, shoot me an email.
Ugh, I might have to start doing this too!
Good luck!
I am not a cat person either.
But I think you should take the $20 to put up a picture of a cat…
Wish I could help out. I donated to the redcross earthquake fund twice in a month though and now don`t even have enough money for chocolate. Dire!
Hope you can find some advertisers- somehow I doubt people that read your blog would be very interested in mine though. I need to use more colourful language I guess
– try contacting some people/those with products/companies directly and you might have more luck.
I’m in… just let me change over to my new blog URL and self hosting thing first.
I saw on twitter that you have things going for you, good luck!
That fucking swirly thing drove me nuts. I’m raging again just looking at yours. I think I may the only person in the history of the world to toss the mac out of the window (God, that felt good!), and go back to PC. My computer and I have a much better relationship now.
Love the plug for advertisers. Good luck. Wish I was flush enough to join the party.
Pretty Kitten Piccy!
I clicked. It’s a kitten. Of course I clicked. Congrats!
Muuaahhh haaaaa haaaaa – how much to put a 2nd cat up there??
Go into your system tools and do a disk cleanup followed by a disk defragmentation. On both drives. On a regular basis.
I’m having trouble with Blogger. I keep getting a message saying Blogger is unavailable right now, so can’t put up any new posts.
I updated my hard drive (about $80 US) a month or so ago and upgraded my operating system to Windows 7 (free via work) and it has made a huge difference!! I never thought upgrading my hard drive would help so much.
Anyway, I was about to pay to play but then you said no cats….*sigh*
I’m tempted to do this, just so I could make a button with my cat on it… *hides*
x