January 2011

I am personally putting you on my ‘Do Not Kill list’

After a morning – and most of the afternoon – of Boo screaming and yelling and TRYING to reason with the screaming banshee that 6 weeks of being cooped up in the house has turned my son into, culminating in him being sent to his room only to be returned after screaming ‘you suck’ this [...]

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Lemons

So we live in the country but we live in town so technically it is like living in the city but we can see the stars at night and hear the neighbour fart in his bathroom. The best and worst. Today I bleached the kitchen sink and then got all the motherfucker stains off the [...]

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I told a workmate today that we are watching all 5 seasons of Dexter during January – we are coining it ‘The Summer of Dexter’ – she asked if I was talking about the robot from Perfect Match. So I killed her. Dexter would be proud.

Robot from 80′s Dating Show Perfect Match v’s Sexiest Serial Killer of all time… She totally brought it on herself. And yes, I am a tad obsessed. Rate this post biatches.Awesome (0) Fabulous (0) WTF (0) Day-um (0) Suckage (0)

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I am pretty sure I was a Chinese Serial Killer in a past life – as in a serial killer that kills Chinese people, not a serial killer that was Chinese. But I could have been, however that is irrelevant, the serial killer part is not.

Old timers say ‘you must have killed a Chinaman‘ when bad luck befalls someone. I am pretty sure that might be a tad racist, sexist even, cause ChineseWOMEN would be mightily pissed off if you killed them too. Anyway the point is, apparently Chinese people are good luck when they are alive and not so [...]

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Eating cold mutilated pizza cures headaches. Proven fact. I have done the studies. Well, study. When study means I had a headache and now I don’t so I am totally a world leader in sciencing.

We had pizza for dinner last night. Because Boo needed an empty pizza box for the scene in his ‘series’ where he walks into the laundry and tries to get in the dryer which is apparently a freezer that will freeze him for a million years. Or one. I forget. POINT IS he will be [...]

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You can stop looking now. I found all the knives…

… in Boo’s room. He has been using them for drumming practice. Apparently. Methinks we should start eating with chopsticks from now on. Rate this post biatches.Awesome (0) Fabulous (0) WTF (0) Day-um (0) Suckage (0)

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A lesson I am not ready for him to learn.

Boo is a movie maker. He eats, sleeps and breathes making movies. He knows when every movie studio was created, by whom, and when their first movies were released. His ultimate goal is to work for Pixar. Every day he is running around with his ipod, recording episodes for his ‘series’ or interviewing the ‘stars’ [...]

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Apparently it was National Delurker Day. Which I missed cause I live in the future and WHY is everything National and not INTERNational? Think of the starving African babies people! They want comments on their blogs too you know.

So yeah. Comment. Do eeeeet. And if I get one miiiiiiiiiliiiiiiiion comments I will show you my boobs. And my address. And raffle off my third born. Cause he is being a total BUTTHEAD today and I could do with a break from the screaming and the cheese/Wallace and Gromit obsession. {you can totally steal [...]

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My house is not a boat. And for that I am thankful. Because I fucking HATE houseboats.

I have received a few panicked emails, Twitter and Facebook messages from my lovelies wondering if the reason I haven’t been around much of late is because I am caught up in the utter devastation that is the floods in Queensland. I rest assured, I am two states away from that, and although my house [...]

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Control freak? Me? Surely not.

So my doctor wants me to go on antidepressants. He was all ‘I want you to go on antidepressants’ And I was all ‘Um, yeah well no.’ And he was all ‘Well I think it is a good idea and it will only be for a couple of months or so’ And I was all [...]