I am sure that I have said it before, but I will say it again, teachers aides are fucking saints.
Except for the crappy ones that only get into the job to work school hours and they think it is gunna be a cushy job and then they get a day with my boy and he is all ‘oh you think this shit is gunna be easy? We will just see about that!’ and he has a full day of screaming at decibels just low enough for the human ear to hear and just long enough to not cause permanent damage to your hearing. And all the other kids are all ‘meh, seen it all before’ and get on with their school work and the stupid bint is all ‘I think I will go back to scrapbooking’.
So aides = awesomeness to the power of bacon.
As you know, Boo went to camp.
For one night.
And his Aide of Awesome texted me periodically so I wouldn’t totally lose my shit.
‘We are here’
Phew. Good thing she did that cause there was a bus crash reported on the news. And shit was being lost.
‘Boo loves his room!’
‘Hey Kel! Boo ate roast for tea beef spud carrot corn and icecream and used knife and fork’
Sorry, what? WHAT? He ate WHAT with WHAT? Fucking kid who will only eat with his fingers no matter how much I plead and beg and got cheeking his vegetables down to a fine art.
‘Boo went to sleep ten thirty has to wake him seven thirty awesome didnt even use ipod loved his lamp’
Now this is just MADNESS. She has to be playing with me. Slept for NINE MOTHERFUCKING HOURS without the soundtrack of Flashdance on loop, with just a little camp light instead of every freaking light in the whole place on and no midnight and 3am toilet run wrapped in a blanket singin’ some tunes?
Methinks this woman has some super Jedi mind powers or something.
Or she was drunk.
Imma gunna go with Obi-wan.
Next year I am going to request she teach him how to shower himself, do laundry and give me a pedicure.
Win/win for the both of us.