People used to tell me that I had a humour blog.
Every now and then I would pepper my rantings and OMG HOW FUCKING AWESOME AM I?!?! with a few serious posts. And you would be all ‘WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK? That was unexpected.’
And now, I fear, that you will come here and if I am NOT having some sort of terrible horrific crisis you will start looking over your shoulder wondering if the Universe has stopped fucking with me and has come for you.
Rest easy my lovelies. The Universe has planted it’s arse right over my head and it has taken a box full of laxatives.
You are safe.
But I am wearing a metaphorical raincoat of all of your kind words and love to protect me.
For that I am thankful.
In other news, Boo’s surgery went well. He has a two inch screw in his arm. I was able to go into the theatre with him and apply the mask to put him to sleep so he was calm while going under.
Not so much when he came out. He was REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF and then sleeping and then REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF and then sleeping. Rinse and repeat for five hours.
When we got him home he had something to eat and then we set up the living room for him with his mattress and I had the pleasure of laying with him watching the Scooby Doo movie on loop for 16 hours.
Fun times.
He is feeling much better today, kinda impressed that he has a screw in his arm and can be like Bender from Futurama, will be interesting when he gets back to school and tells his teachers to ‘Bite my shiny metal arm!’.
Heh.
The stress of the last couple of weeks has taken its toll and Boo has decided the best way to express his displeasure at all that is happening is to turn his bedroom floor into a swimming pool. Of pee. Just walks in there, whips it out and relieves himself on the carpet.
And then after a nice dose of painkillers does a funky little dance in it to the Scooby Doo theme song.
The kid has some awesome moves, but the splash does sting the eyes.
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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh boy. I’m glad he’s feeling better. I really hope he feels less stressed soon!
Hugs. I wish I could help out – other than by adding a layer to that metaphorical raincoat.
.-= Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..If he were Greek- Scottish- or Polynesian- it wouldn’t be controversial… =-.
Pee soaked carpets for you and me both. Only mine is dog related and toddler related, so I think that’s okay. Except I keep treading in soggy patches.
Thinking of you. xx
.-= Veronica´s last blog ..Grey Elephants =-.
Dancing in pee soaked carpet is really just a sign of his creativity
Glad his surgery is done and hope that he is on the mend. Hope the rain coat keeps you dry and there is a break in the universal crap soon. Hugs 
.-= Rusty Hoe´s last blog ..Perspective- DARE Re-post =-.
Y’know soaking your chilblain-covered feet in a bucket of urine is a popular home remedy; you could make MILLIONS!!! by renting out Boo’s carpet.
Think you’d have to lodge the ad under “foot fetish” in the classifieds, though….
.-= Ro´s last blog ..Im such a party animal snort =-.
Hugs
.-= Marita´s last blog ..Princess Heidi and her faithful Donkey =-.
Tossing you another raincoat to throw over your shoulders.
Thinking of you all, hon xxx
.-= Jayne´s last blog ..August 11 Its raining again- oh no- my baths at an end =-.
I have an extra raincoat by the door, complete with sou’wester hat – you want them?? The hat is bright yellow and looks FAB!
I’m so glad the surgery went well… I was wondering.
Hugs from Poland.
.-= WarsawMommy´s last blog ..Just Hangin’ Around =-.
That’s all parenthood is really. One long pee and poo extravaganza. So glad the surgery went well. x
.-= Ali´s last blog ..My immune system is an arsehole =-.
Sending you hugs, chocolate, wine and the ability to suspend your sense of smell on cue ..
(just adding shower cap to your ensemble).
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Dear Darl- it’s August 9 =-.
Are you eyes still burning?
.-= Gilz´s last blog ..The Cunning Contraption =-.
Gah. Perhaps disposable plastic body suits are the answer. You could just take him out and hose him down once a day.
.-= Jo´s last blog ..childrens book post =-.
Duude. I wish I could think of something helpful. Want some lice? I still gots a few. They prefer clean carpets though.
.-= Nan´s last blog ..All Systems Stop… =-.
The splash is stinging your eyes? You need swimming goggles honey. Swimming goggles.
Pity you can’t raincoat the carpet.
I’m glad the surgery went well and Boo is proud to be (partly) bionic.
But 16 hours of Scooby doo? Erk. I’d go nuts.
.-= river´s last blog ..my big gum tree =-.
In times like these, hardwood floors look more and more attractive.
Glad Boo’s surgery went well. Sending ‘get well’ wishes for you both.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..An artist’s palette =-.
*sighs*
I’m sorry things are hard, my friend. I’m here if you ever need anything. Sympathy, tea, cocaine…okay, not the cocaine. But you know. I love you and I’m here.
Sweet potato design carpet.
.-= Martin´s last blog ..D day day =-.
Oh my. But just…oh my.
I SO envy mothers an their undying patience/unconditional love.
I couldn’t handle my PUPPY when it peed little puppy pee on my wood (read easily cleanable) floors. ((shiver))((cigarette))
You’re f*cking saintly.
(I have used f*ck here, as I’am a vocal fan of its use as a means of emphasis. However I must say I’m not entirely sure it’s appropriate when used next to saintly…what do you think?)
Ah nevermind. Well done and congrats on a smooth Boo surgery.
- B x
Well, now you know where to go if you end up with a raging case of athletes foot. Or a jelly fish sting.
.-= statia´s last blog ..Tip me over and if you’re a man- avert your eyes =-.
Glad it went well. I had the opposite problem – kid going apeshit while being put under but woke up all sunshine and roses. I seem to remember reading somewhere that Madonna peed in the shower because it stopped her getting tinea. Maybe Boo is scared of tinea and he is implementing preventative action
.-= Gnometree´s last blog ..SWF 4-3 The end of the day =-.
I thought it was bad when one of mine tracked in mud… which turned out to be cat poo.
At least you have an Aussie bloke who can dance.
.-= Chookie´s last blog ..How to Prune a Quince Tree and How to Treat Scale =-.
You know, your blog post titles are so much better than mine, I”m feeling a bit crushed. How can pruning and treating scale possibly compete with dancing in pee-soaked carpet?
.-= Chookie´s last blog ..How to Prune a Quince Tree and How to Treat Scale =-.
We must be neighbors cause I’m permanently living in the universe’s arse! Don’t believe me? I have two plates in my arm still…
.-= VE´s last blog ..From Pong to Palm =-.
Aww poor Boo. But at least you can whip this story out at his 21st birthday …
.-= MaidInAustralia´s last blog ..Rydges Oasis Resort- Caloundra – part one =-.
I would have been more impressed if he was doing the Snoopy dance. *shrug* The kid’s good, but I have higher expectations for him!
.-= GoaldeeBug´s last blog ..Happy Birthday- Malia! =-.
Hugs… and I know how insufficient that really is.
Oh my! What a way to express himself! :O Girl, that is full on!
.-= Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella´s last blog ..Food Tasting Speed Dating Style in Tamworth! =-.
**strongs!
.-= Jenty´s last blog ..Snail Mail marketing is an irritation =-.
You know, you are amazing and wonderful and funny and poignant and basically just teh awesome. I am so happy to hear that Boo came through his operation well. I literally just read 14 of your most recent posts (I’m a little behind) and I have so much to say about all of it, but mostly just you are amazing and wonderful and funny and poignant and you are YOU and that is awesome. Anything you need, I’m here.
.-= Stimey´s last blog ..Just This- Then Ill Shut Up =-.
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