Pound.

That is all I can hear.

A pound pound pounding in my ears.

I can feel my heart beat.

I sit, perfectly still and try and see if I can see my heart pounding out of my chest.

And I am surprised to find that I cannot.

I feel it in my head.  My eyes.  My legs.  Rushing through my body.

All with the steady beat from my heart.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

I feel hot.

Dizzy.

A little nauseous.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

The sound is getting louder.  More earnest.

My mouth is dry.

I want to rip off all my clothes and run screaming in the street.

Or curl up in the corner with a blanket over my head.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

I try and blot out the thoughts in my head.  Thoughts that make me catch my breath.  Thoughts that normally would just be normal shit different day but today make my blood race through my body so fast I fear I may topple over.

I sit here paralysed by something.  Apathy?  Laziness?

Fear?

The latter seems more descriptive of my symptoms but not of the actual situation.

I have cookie dough in the freezer.  Once I make it to the kitchen my body will decide if it is consumed cooked or not.

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