Oh the HUMANITY!
MPS has a cold MAN FLU!
As mere women whining about tiny insignificant things like period cramps, mittelschmerz, carrying a screaming toddler and a baby in a sling while pushing a shopping trolley full of groceries nursing a barely healed caesarean scar and oh, I dunno, wearing a RoboBoot with two numb arms and still driving your lazy arses around, we cannot even begin to appreciate the pain and misery a man must endure when afflicted with the dreaded Man Flu.
While you lay on the couch moaning we pick up your dirty tissues and listen to your snuffling while you grip the TV remote like your life depends on it. Women just don’t understand Man Flu. It is such and injustice.
And then there is the rolling of the eyes of those of the female persuasion. We are such bitches, when CLEARLY we should be mopping your brow and bringing you warm drinks and getting back into the damn kitchen and making you a sammich.
AND THEN we whine when you are obviously battling to breathe and maybe at times accidentally breathe or sneeze in our faces. I mean COME ON DON’T WE EVEN CARE THAT YOU ARE DYING? A little snot on your face is a small price to pay when your man is suffering so.
When we give you the stink eye when our eyes start to water and nose starts to run but still have to make dinner and do the washing and look after the children and whatever the fuck it is that women do all day when you are off surfing porn on your work computer, we really should suck it up because OBVIOUSLY women don’t get Man Flu. We get a way milder form of Girly Germs that may slow us down a bit but should not prevent us from getting in the damn kitchen and making that damn motherfucking sandwich already.
I understand. I really do. But don’t take that understanding as sympathy or me actually giving a flying fuck.
Cause as a woman I don’t understand Man Flu. And I have shit to do.
Right after I blow my nose.
* Disclaimer: OBVIOUSLY this only applies to OTHER men. MPS of course does not act like this AT ALL while afflicted with Man Flu. He is a trouper suffering silently while laying on the couch surrounded by tissues… heh.