They tell you being a parent is hard.
The midnight feeds. The endless crying when you just want to scream WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?! I will give you anything EVERYTHING if you will just stop crying!
What you are never prepared for is when they become people. Individuals.
Today I have an ache in my heart.
Something in my eye.
I look at her picture on the wall and I miss her.
I have stored some incidental things in her room, but it is pretty much how she left it.
Posters on the walls. Train timetable, party invitations, school flotsam on the noticeboard.
Her artwork leaning against the wall.
The bed unmade. I can’t bear to strip the bedding and remake it.
The room still smells like her.
Hundreds of kilometres away. Working and having fun in the city. The life I wanted for her (for me).
Today I stalk her Facebook, looking at the pictures, her profile picture taken last time she was here a pic of her and her Dad mucking around.
Today I miss her so much. I want to go back in time and hug her and treasure those years of her home with all her shit on the floor and the endless washing and ‘Mum I need…’
And her laughter.
I miss my baby. Fuck it is hard.Magnetoboldtoo is sponsored by: