January 2010

While I was gone…

I took a break. The internet still worked. People still Twittered and Facebooked and laughed and cried and sent messages of hope and support, took pictures of their children and sent naked photos to one another and fuckers still trolled. I took a break. And it was lovely. On Wednesday last week I was lying [...]

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not ready yet.

I am not dead. I am not languishing in the senior citizens lounge of the local hospital like last year, nor am I in the ‘mental hospital getting the help you obviously need’ {fuck you troll, sideways with my trusty moulding razorblade encrusted pineapple}. I am not on some awesome luxury holiday with my every [...]

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Cause I freaking rock this mothering caper

Is it wrong that, moments after finding out that Moo has been offered a place at her 1st choice university, I start mentally turning her room into a Mothers Retreat? Already gotz me the combination lock and perused google for WHITE lounges and big fluffy pillows. What? You can’t tell me that you wouldn’t do [...]

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Like that freaky chick in Poltergeist said ‘This house is clean bitches’. But they cut out the last word because they didn’t say ‘bitches’ back then and that chick was ahead of her time. Obviously.

'this house is clean' *insert smug smile here* Well the lounge area and the bathroom anyway.  I gotz me the cleaning frenzy again, and we all know what happened last time I gotz me the fever… but I am taking it slower, what with the hobbling and motherfucking coughing and I DIDN'T write a 14 [...]

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The beside drawer.

We bought a new desk. A desk for MPS.  A desk for bills and the flotsam of life. An adult desk without teeth marks and corners gnawed off the sides thanks to our boy-who-chews-everything. A relatively cheap one, an interim desk if you will, a test desk to see if we can have at least [...]

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Further proof that the internetz are awesome. AKA the post where I say awesome a lot because, well this shit is awesome.

Those of you that have been around a while would already be well aware of my love affair with Tetris. I love me some Tetris.  But my heart will always belong to old skool Game Boy Tetris, biatches. That baby saved my damn life when I spent 3 months sitting on the floor in front [...]

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Slinkies and exploding bras

I have started a list. A list of things I want to experience/do/fucking rock the shizzle outta this year. One of those things stemmed from an idea from A – of Marcus fame – set a slinky down a flight of stairs.  Not just any old stairs biatches, the stairs of Parliament House. Today saw [...]

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Apparently this is called phoning it in. Which totally doesn’t make sense except for the fact that my internetz may or may not be transmitted through the phone lines, I really have no clue and have better things to do with my time than googling that shit, hence the phoning it in. Clearly, I have no idea what phoning it in means.

At TEN FUCKING PM It hit 40C today. Seriously fucking hot. Like OMFG my eyeballs are sweating and I am going sans pants whenever possible. apparently Boo takes exception to MPS going sans pants… heh heh heh So not so much phoning it in as saving you from a post full of whining about the [...]

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Dearest Archivers,

Hi! How you doin'? I see you there, wandering around my archives, one two three, sometimes up to ten of you at a time, busily reading everything I have ever written. Don't get me wrong, I love you for that.  I mean how can I not love someone spending days and days methodically going through [...]

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Marcus.

Well it was the first day back at the salt mines office. Relatively painless, as work days go.  Most of the fuckknuckles were still on holidays, managed to complete what I needed without having to actually speak to anyone on the phone, amusing IM conversations, went for a slow hobble to the coffee shop for [...]

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