Boo’s last day. And the office Christmas party.

The Damn Emos have been home for like months already, but today Boo finished school for the year.

I dropped him off this morning all wide eyed and confused cause the new teacher had already moved his shit into the classroom, so of course Boo was all What. The. Fuck. His aide and I took one look at each other and burst into tears, causing more confusion and whatthefuckery from Boo.

So I left him with a misty eyed aide, kids bouncing off the walls cause LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!, some randoms shit all over the place and a kiss and a hug saying I will be there to pick him up at 1pm.

‘What about lunch!’ Fuck. The kid was spinning and flapping as I backed out the door and left C to deal with that little piece of mindfuckery.

Got to work with RoboBoot dressed in her Christmas finery…

{There was more, lots of tinsel and flashing badges and earrings from my fellow co-workers but I forgot to get a photo for you guys. So a crap phone camera shot is all you get. I need a new camera dammit!}

…with two hours to get 6 hours work done before the office Christmas Party. Oh and pack up my desk for the final move to my brand spanking new desk on Monday, that looks suspiciously like a cube farm. *shudder*

Got fuck all done, what with the SINGING and general GOOD HUMOUR of my fellow residents of the training room/temporary accommodation/LIVING HELL doing my fucking head in cause they have been all passive aggressive and stealing each others shit and complaining OMG THE COMPLAINING for the last four fucking weeks.

It is amazing what the anticipation of a little free processed turkey, stale rolls and cheap champagne will do to people.

I finished what I could, threw everything into boxes labelled with my name and the threat of RoboBoot firmly up their soon to be three foot wide sphincters if anything was lost or broken, and wandered onto the landing-come-dining-room cause the canteen is currently being used as office space.

It was pure pandemonium. People pushing and shoving and bitching and moaning cause she got a bigger slice of processed turkey and the prawns don’t look fresh enough and who drank all the red wine and I need four plates cause I don’t want my food touching and there is no way I am standing in that line for another 30 minutes…

I stood there, my mouth agape.

Someone handed me a glass of wine and I hobbled over to stand in line. Unfortunately for me, and for you, I had to glup down my slop cause I had 15 minutes to eat and get outta there to go and pick up Boo. So I missed the dancing on tables and ‘I love yous all’s and punch ups in the carpark that always serve as entertainment after Santa falls out of his chair with a heart attack and the ambulance has left. ( yes, that really DID happen)

I got to school just as the whole school assembly was finishing up (thank God for small mercies, they drew the raffle and it had 29 prizes. TWENTY FUCKING NINE) with Boo no where to be seen.

Then I heard the screaming.

Coming from the staff room.

All eyes were on me as I hobbled towards the staff room, realising that everyone knew it was Boo.

Apparently assembly was a tad too loud. And there were too many people screaming with excitement over stupid hampers of no name corn chips and stale fruit cake TWENTY NINE TIMES and Boo kinda sorta lost his fucking shit and had to be removed.

I found him with his aide and the gorgeous office ladies in the staff room, his face red and stained with tears.

‘I need to go home mummy.’

I looked at C. ‘He has had a really hard day.’

We collected his bag, gave C two more huge hugs goodbye and got in the car and drove home.

And Boo and I sat in the car, in the driveway, while he sobbed on my shoulder.

As we came inside and he dried his eyes and nose on the back of my shirt he looked at me and said ‘I was sad cause I didn’t get any lunch!’

*slaps forehead in frustration*

It is going to be a looooooong six weeks…

BIG4 Bellarine Holiday Park