I am starting a list.
A list of people that I am gunna kick the living shit out of when I get this damn fucking boot off.
Seriously, is it really THAT funny to call me Hoppy? Cause I am not actually hopping you fuckwit and if I could get within arms length of you I would ram this fucking boot down your throat and pull it out of your arse…
There is a dude at work with the same thing. Partial tear to his Achilles tendon. He is in a fucking WHEELCHAIR.
To that I say harden the fuck up.
I do believe that Chopper says it best:
{youtube clip feedreaders, very NSFW unless you boss is fucking AWESOME then turn it up. Unless his name is Stephan…}
Someone that doesn’t need hardening the fuck up is this guy I met at the shopping centre yesterday. I was sitting in the food court sucking down a latte while waiting for MOTY to get her fucking shit together when a man approached me asking what I had done to my foot.
He had NO FUCKING LEGS!
Dude was all ‘that looks painful’ and ‘what happened’ and ‘are you OK?’
AND HE HAD NO FUCKING LEGS.
Dude was seriously hard core. And now on my list of awesome people that must drink concrete for breakfast.
Cause… NO FUCKING LEGS. And he was asking me how I was.
Hard core awesome.
Anywho. I went to see the physio yesterday and he was all you have seriously fucked up this time girl… you shoulda got that seen to the day it happened not 2 weeks later. Do these exercises and they are gunna hurt.
Like a mother fucker.
Well, technically he didn’t say they were going to hurt like a mother fucker but when I did them I was all MOTHER FUCKER! But in my head cause I am a lady.
Apparently the tendon has been healing and now is longer than it should be. So these exercises will help it knit together properly or some shit I DON’T KNOW cause I was too busy screaming MOTHER FUCKER POO BUM FART!!! But in my head because I am a lady remember…
So Robo Boot for at least another week and then he will ‘wean’ me off the boot and into…
Wait for it…
Heels.
HELLZ YEAH BABY!
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
MOTHER FUCKER POO BUM FART!
Best line EVAH.
Gawd I love you.
Jill Himitsu´s last blog ..I now pronounce you Hooker and Ghost. Then I kissed the Bride.
[Reply]
I heart your physio- he is awesome!
Joyce´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Kalyb!
[Reply]
Yeah, the heels will help your stretched tendon shrink. Awesome!!
[Reply]
Keep those Christmas heels at the ready!
GoaldeeBug´s last blog ..Black Friday – organisation is the key!
[Reply]
I hope you’ve bought a really funky pair of festive heels with bells and baubles on just to celebrate!!!
As for the guy in the wheelchair with the same injury as you??! Men are just pussies.
Give him your Robo Boot as a present for Xmas and tell him its an “upgrade” from his Pussie Wheelchair.
Gilz´s last blog ..My 10th Wedding Anniversary
[Reply]
Hmmmm. Boot. Wheels. Boot-wheels! If you could put little wheels on that boot, that could be awesome. Esp. in shopping centres where there are nice smooth floors and no awkward stairs. Worth trying, I think, before you give the boot back.
spotrick´s last blog ..Making sense of Emissions Trading — it doesn’t
[Reply]
What’s wrong with being called Hoppy? Hop-a-long Cassidy was a great western hero. On TV anyway. We called my girl T hoppy when she had a cast on her foot. She didn’t mind a bit. (she was 11)
[Reply]
I worked with a dude called Stephan for seven months. I told him to harden the fuck up Every Single Day and he had to like it, cause I was the boss. Suck Shit, Stephan! Good bloke though, I would have decked me for that.
Heels baby, yeah!
The Accidental Housewife´s last blog ..I’m being followed by a moon shadow
[Reply]
Realises that my kids must have been reading your blog long before me.
POO BUM FART, ha ha ha!
Ness at Drovers Run´s last blog ..New Camera Equipment
[Reply]
I cried because I had no heels until I met a man who had no legs. Or something like that. And you’re getting your heels back! Merry Christmas to you!
(Seriously – i LOVED that part of the story…)
Tammy´s last blog ..Single-Tasking in a Multi-Tasking World
[Reply]
IN YOUR HEAD???!!!! Spit it out and Harden the fuck up!!!
lceel´s last blog ..Friday Haiku – The Swan
[Reply]
There’s some shit about truth in advertisement, why not truth in health care? I think it’d be awesome if doctors/dentist/gynos said something would hurt like a mother fucker. I might even pay a higher co-pay just for that special care.
[Reply]
Sounds like the perfect excuse for some shoe shopping. HO, Ho, ho!
Tara R.´s last blog ..SkyWatch Friday ~ season 4, edition 21
[Reply]
OHMIGAWD! I am offended! A lady my arse! I got almost all the way through a somewhat educational post and was truly enjoying myself when you let loose with the really explicit language. “POO BUM FART” really should be left to cable television, don’t you think?
Krissa´s last blog ..Soup D’Jour
[Reply]
I will lend you my fav saying from Stephen Fry – “buttery fuck”.
Jayne´s last blog ..Look what followed me home, Ma !
[Reply]
Of course into heels – as if you’re going to have a change of heart and start wearing clogs and Birks. Gawd. Hope the pain meds are awesome.
pixiemama´s last blog ..love & marriage
[Reply]
Why wait until the boot comes off? Kick them whuile you’re still wearing it, it will hurt more!
Karin aka perpstu´s last blog ..Merry SITSmas!!!
[Reply]
Loved that video…..hehehehehehe
Hotmamamia´s last blog ..God, I love creative people
[Reply]