Random header image... Refresh for more!

‘Hey Hoppy! Ha ha ha’ – Yeah, that one just never gets old…

by Kelley

in a mind is a terrible thing to waste

I am starting a list.

A list of people that I am gunna kick the living shit out of when I get this damn fucking boot off.

Seriously, is it really THAT funny to call me Hoppy? Cause I am not actually hopping you fuckwit and if I could get within arms length of you I would ram this fucking boot down your throat and pull it out of your arse…

There is a dude at work with the same thing. Partial tear to his Achilles tendon. He is in a fucking WHEELCHAIR.

To that I say harden the fuck up.

I do believe that Chopper says it best:

{youtube clip feedreaders, very NSFW unless you boss is fucking AWESOME then turn it up. Unless his name is Stephan…}

Someone that doesn’t need hardening the fuck up is this guy I met at the shopping centre yesterday. I was sitting in the food court sucking down a latte while waiting for MOTY to get her fucking shit together when a man approached me asking what I had done to my foot.

He had NO FUCKING LEGS!

Dude was all ‘that looks painful’ and ‘what happened’ and ‘are you OK?’

AND HE HAD NO FUCKING LEGS.

Dude was seriously hard core. And now on my list of awesome people that must drink concrete for breakfast.

Cause… NO FUCKING LEGS. And he was asking me how I was.

Hard core awesome.

Anywho. I went to see the physio yesterday and he was all you have seriously fucked up this time girl… you shoulda got that seen to the day it happened not 2 weeks later. Do these exercises and they are gunna hurt.

Like a mother fucker.

Well, technically he didn’t say they were going to hurt like a mother fucker but when I did them I was all MOTHER FUCKER! But in my head cause I am a lady.

Apparently the tendon has been healing and now is longer than it should be. So these exercises will help it knit together properly or some shit I DON’T KNOW cause I was too busy screaming MOTHER FUCKER POO BUM FART!!! But in my head because I am a lady remember…

So Robo Boot for at least another week and then he will ‘wean’ me off the boot and into…

Wait for it…

Heels.

HELLZ YEAH BABY!

Related Posts with Thumbnails

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jill Himitsu December 4, 2009 at 4:21 pm

MOTHER FUCKER POO BUM FART!

Best line EVAH.

Gawd I love you.
.-= Jill Himitsu´s last blog ..I now pronounce you Hooker and Ghost. Then I kissed the Bride. =-.

Reply

2 Joyce December 4, 2009 at 4:44 pm

I heart your physio- he is awesome!
.-= Joyce´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Kalyb! =-.

Reply

3 Misty December 4, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Yeah, the heels will help your stretched tendon shrink. Awesome!!

Reply

4 GoaldeeBug December 4, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Keep those Christmas heels at the ready!
.-= GoaldeeBug´s last blog ..Black Friday – organisation is the key! =-.

Reply

5 Gilz December 4, 2009 at 6:09 pm

I hope you’ve bought a really funky pair of festive heels with bells and baubles on just to celebrate!!!

As for the guy in the wheelchair with the same injury as you??! Men are just pussies.

Give him your Robo Boot as a present for Xmas and tell him its an “upgrade” from his Pussie Wheelchair.
.-= Gilz´s last blog ..My 10th Wedding Anniversary =-.

Reply

6 spotrick December 4, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Hmmmm. Boot. Wheels. Boot-wheels! If you could put little wheels on that boot, that could be awesome. Esp. in shopping centres where there are nice smooth floors and no awkward stairs. Worth trying, I think, before you give the boot back.
.-= spotrick´s last blog ..Making sense of Emissions Trading — it doesn’t =-.

Reply

7 river December 4, 2009 at 6:46 pm

What’s wrong with being called Hoppy? Hop-a-long Cassidy was a great western hero. On TV anyway. We called my girl T hoppy when she had a cast on her foot. She didn’t mind a bit. (she was 11)

Reply

8 The Accidental Housewife December 4, 2009 at 11:16 pm

I worked with a dude called Stephan for seven months. I told him to harden the fuck up Every Single Day and he had to like it, cause I was the boss. Suck Shit, Stephan! Good bloke though, I would have decked me for that.

Heels baby, yeah!
.-= The Accidental Housewife´s last blog ..I’m being followed by a moon shadow =-.

Reply

9 Ness at Drovers Run December 4, 2009 at 11:22 pm

Realises that my kids must have been reading your blog long before me.

POO BUM FART, ha ha ha!
.-= Ness at Drovers Run´s last blog ..New Camera Equipment =-.

Reply

10 Tammy December 4, 2009 at 11:28 pm

I cried because I had no heels until I met a man who had no legs. Or something like that. And you’re getting your heels back! Merry Christmas to you!

(Seriously – i LOVED that part of the story…)
.-= Tammy´s last blog ..Single-Tasking in a Multi-Tasking World =-.

Reply

11 lceel December 5, 2009 at 1:22 am

IN YOUR HEAD???!!!! Spit it out and Harden the fuck up!!!
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Friday Haiku – The Swan =-.

Reply

12 Kel December 5, 2009 at 1:27 am

There’s some shit about truth in advertisement, why not truth in health care? I think it’d be awesome if doctors/dentist/gynos said something would hurt like a mother fucker. I might even pay a higher co-pay just for that special care.

Reply

13 Tara R. December 5, 2009 at 2:30 am

Sounds like the perfect excuse for some shoe shopping. HO, Ho, ho!
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..SkyWatch Friday ~ season 4, edition 21 =-.

Reply

14 Krissa December 5, 2009 at 1:32 pm

OHMIGAWD! I am offended! A lady my arse! I got almost all the way through a somewhat educational post and was truly enjoying myself when you let loose with the really explicit language. “POO BUM FART” really should be left to cable television, don’t you think? 😉
.-= Krissa´s last blog ..Soup D’Jour =-.

Reply

15 Jayne December 5, 2009 at 2:52 pm

I will lend you my fav saying from Stephen Fry – “buttery fuck”.
.-= Jayne´s last blog ..Look what followed me home, Ma ! =-.

Reply

16 pixiemama December 6, 2009 at 1:56 pm

Of course into heels – as if you’re going to have a change of heart and start wearing clogs and Birks. Gawd. Hope the pain meds are awesome.
.-= pixiemama´s last blog ..love & marriage =-.

Reply

17 Karin aka perpstu December 10, 2009 at 3:16 am

Why wait until the boot comes off? Kick them whuile you’re still wearing it, it will hurt more!
.-= Karin aka perpstu´s last blog ..Merry SITSmas!!! =-.

Reply

18 Hotmamamia December 17, 2009 at 8:22 am

Loved that video…..hehehehehehe
.-= Hotmamamia´s last blog ..God, I love creative people =-.

Reply

Cancel reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post: Christmas shopping like it’s 1999. Well technically NOT, cause I had no clue about the internet in 1999 I just knew it involved a lot of fucking cords in the middle of my loungeroom and a high pitched squeal that meant I couldn’t use the damn phone.

Next post: The post that will make you want to vomit with the sweetness of it all. Well kinda.

  • subscribe




  • validate










  • socialise







  • search for more awesomeness

  • Load More...
    Follow on Instagram
  • hello lover
  • archival awesomeness

  • awesomeness tied up neatly

    • a mind is a terrible thing to waste (240)
    • Anatomy of a brain fart (17)
    • Audrey (2)
    • aussie bloggers conference (3)
    • Autism (171)
    • awards and memes (13)
    • awwwwwwwwwwwwww (8)
    • baby socks up your twat (7)
    • Barney is my God (2)
    • birthdays (51)
    • bitch be crazy (130)
    • Bizzare searches (3)
    • Blah Blah Blah (87)
    • blogging (98)
    • chocolate and coffee (6)
    • Christmas (89)
    • chronic as fuck (26)
    • comments from the Dude (12)
    • cracking my own shit up (15)
    • cracking my shit up (40)
    • dissing the fuck out of dysautonomia (28)
    • Duuuuuude (5)
    • Easter (18)
    • Easter Bunny brings me presents? (6)
    • Easter decorating (5)
    • elsewhere. Just as awesome. (16)
    • finding my happy (14)
    • Flying thru the mayhem (57)
    • foul mouthed tutorials (19)
    • freaking the fuck out (34)
    • funstuff (121)
    • gastroparesis can suck it (31)
    • going to hell who is bringing the cheese? (24)
    • Guest biatches (38)
    • Happy happy joy joy (51)
    • Harry Potter Party (12)
    • hmmmmm (37)
    • I get by with a little help from my peeps (19)
    • I haz a sad (9)
    • I'm a biatch (32)
    • kids (37)
    • Letters (12)
    • linky lovin' (3)
    • lite n easy (2)
    • lovin' on my peeps (15)
    • me (1)
    • meh (19)
    • memey shit (4)
    • menu planning (3)
    • moments in mothering (15)
    • NaBloPoMo (18)
    • nerf bullets will survive the apocalypse and the world will be inhabited by cockroaches toting nerf guns (2)
    • oh the horror (7)
    • OVerheard in Magneto Bold Land (1)
    • posts that are really messages to my husband (10)
    • proof yet again that I shouldn't be allowed on the internet unsupervised (57)
    • ramblings (87)
    • ranty mcrantypants (12)
    • sadness (28)
    • serious shit (72)
    • so sweet I could vomit (13)
    • Stuff about Boo (85)
    • Sunday Breakfast (3)
    • techie stuff (2)
    • teletubbies are from the devil (12)
    • that was stupid. (11)
    • things that are awesome (14)
    • things that irriate me (30)
    • Things that make you go hmmmmm (18)
    • Things that make you want to hide in a cupboard (16)
    • things that piss me off (79)
    • this shit is fucked up (46)
    • tiny pieces of my mind (37)
    • Uncategorized (96)
    • whiney mcwhinerson (92)
    • WTF? (64)

Get smart with the Thesis WordPress Theme from DIYthemes.

WordPress Admin