Robo boot goes to a graduation ball.

Once upon a time there was a Robo Boot.

She was plain and, well lets be honest, damn fucking ugly.

All her friends would get let out of the cupboard of the Sports physiotherapists office to go on wild and wonderful adventures, but there she stayed, lonely and sad because she was so damn fucking ugly.

At night she would dream about being let out of the cupboard. She had wild and fanciful dreams of going to a ball, to dance and drink cheap pink champagne. She prayed to every deity that someone would do something stupid, like jumping on and off kitchen counters while cleaning windows and hemming curtains, so she could be released from that dark and dank place and serve the purpose for which she was born.

And maybe, just maybe, go to a ball.

One day a fair maiden hobbled into the office of the Sports physiotherapists after being to her doctor to get her ultrasound results. The fair maidens doctor, while a lovely man, was totally incompetent and referred her to get orthotics and wear Crocs *shudder* after sustaining a tear to her Achilles tendon.

Robo Boot held her breath as she heard the fair maiden tell the receptionist the tale and explain that she had consulted Dr Google and Dr Google was adamant that she should have her foot in a cast, or at the very least be wearing an immobilising boot.

The Sports Physiotherapist came out and concurred with Dr Googles diagnosis, and then said the words that Robo Boot was desperate to hear ‘I have a boot here. I want you to wear it until we can make an appointment to look at your scans’

Robo Boot was so excited she would have peed herself if she possessed a bladder. But she was kind of glad that she hadn’t wished for that.

As Robo Boot was trying to compose herself and brush off the dust and cobwebs she listened in to the conversation between the receptionist and the fair maiden. By the sounds of it their children went to the same Primary School and shared mutual friends. The fair maiden was a little annoyed about sustaining such an injury at this time because it was so hot, because Christmas was coming up and she hadn’t done any shopping yet and what? What did she say?

Robo Boot blinked her non-existent eyes and shook her non-existent head.

Was she hearing correctly from her non-existent ears?

‘Of course tonight is Moo’s graduation ball. I am going to have to wear that damn ugly thing.’

‘Sucks to be you’ the receptionist laughed and the two women laughed and continued on with their discussion about pretty shoes and dresses and teenage girls that look like hookers.

Tears welled up in Robo Boots non-existent eyes. There is a a Patron Saint for butt ugly immobilising boots after all!

As the Sports Physiotherapist brought Robo Boot out of the cupboard and showed her to the fair maiden, she tried not to listen to the cries of horror and disgust and concentrate on the fact that she was going to a ball. That night. A real ball!

And, she soon learned, she will be going to work in an office and go to other school functions and OMFG CHRISTMAS PARTIES!

All of Robo Boots prayers were answered.

Robo Boot felt very very blessed as the fair maiden strapped her foot inside her and hobbled out of the door.

She accompanied the fair maiden to her shoe Mecca, but alas, the fair maiden was too distressed to try on anything because all of the shoes she saw were 8 inch heels and FUCKING GORGEOUS and the fair maiden would have to wear shoes with a moderately low heel to accommodate Robo Boots chunkiness.

Robo Boot preferred to think that she had a nice wedge heel, thus elongating the leg, but lets be honest she stopped mid calf making the fair maidens leg look like Oprahs.

By the time Robo Boot and the fair maiden got home the fair maidens leg had swelled to twice its size in the stifling heat and they sat in front of the airconditioner for an hour or so while the fair maiden contemplated her wardrobe choices for the ball, Robo Boot dreamed of dancing and drinking cheap pink champagne, and The Damn Emos laughed and pointed until their 12 point eyeliner ran and they were all ‘hey! That looks awesome with the black lines down my face, lets take pics for MySpace!’ *scissor fingers*

A few hours later the fair maiden and Robo Boot were ready for the ball. Luckily, the fair maiden had found a pretty shoe to match the chunkiness, ahem, nice wedge heel of Robo Boot and they were off in their chariot to attend the ball.

Robo Boot was the belle of the ball. All eyes were upon her as she daintily made her way into the hall. People stopped and stared and all of them were smiling. The fair maiden on the other hand was not happy about all the smiling and pointing and attention that Robo Boot was getting and Robo Boot surmised that she was just jealous of Robo Boot getting all the attention, and that is why she stuck her under the table for most of the night.

That fair maiden was a fair bitch.

Whenever the fair maiden would get up to go to the little girls room or go outside to escape the heat of a room teeming with bored parents and drunken teenagers, Robo Boot was the centre of attention. Robo Boot was a little confused about the fair maidens animosity towards her as because of her the fair maiden always had an entourage of people walking in front and behind her to make sure she didn’t fall. Making her the centre of attention too.

There is just no pleasing some people, Robo Boot thought to herself.

The fair maiden drank quite a bit of nice cold white wine and some really crappy pink champagne and was a bit unsteady on her pretty shoed foot and, although the fair maiden had been a fucking bitch to her all damn night with her whining and complaining and sweating, Robo Boot carried out her duties of keeping the fair maidens Achilles tendon immobile.

Because she is a professional.

Robo Boot forgave the fair maiden when she realised that the fair maiden was getting emotional and teary watching her daughter on the dance floor with her friends. For the last time. High school was over for the fair maidens child and she would never be in a room with all of these people that she had shared the last 6 years of her life again. The fair maiden was reminiscing about her high school graduation and wondering if Moo realised the significance of this night.

Soon it was time to leave. Robo Boot was sad that it was all over, but glad that she got to go to a ball. Something that she had dreamed of all those years locked in the cupboard. And she knew that the excitement was not over yet because tomorrow she would get to go and work in an office and be the centre of attention all over again!

If only the fair maiden would harden the fuck up and stop whining life would be perfect.