Today is Friday the thirteenth… ooooooooooh ooooooooooh {<— that is me being all scary and mysterious and WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOISE? Carol Anne? Carol Anne? Are you playing inside the TV again?} and instead of sitting back and scaring the living hell out of ourselves in the comfort of our living room with popcorn and chocolate that I always end up sitting on and then start freaking out that Boo has taken a dump on the lounge, again, and then after I work up the courage to take a sniff – cause that kids shit is not dark brown it is a weird kinda tan colour that is perfectly normal apparently – I find out it is chocolate and then have a debate on the utter grossness of eating said melted on the couch chocolate… IN MY HEAD of course cause saying it out loud would totally be weird.
Where was I? Oh yeah, no scary movies for us tonight. We have a whole NEW HORROR!
Tonight is the annual Court Christmas Party! Where I get to hang out with my neighbours and find out how many times I leave the house on any given day and how many visitors I have per head per week and why I should check my letterbox the second it is filled.
In NOVEMBER.
Cause apparently, if you invite people to a Christmas Party in October for the start of November NO ONE can say ‘oh sorry we are already booked that night’ cause HELLO??? Who has a Christmas Party in November?
It is brilliant. If it wasn’t so freaking weird. I mean we have beat out even some of the retail stores in the Christmas insanity…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, I am back.
Boo lasted long enough to chow down on 3 sausages and drink his body weight in lemonade.
MPS was there around 20 minutes before he wimped out because he has The Gout.
I had some very weird disjointed conversations with some very weird disjointed people.
I introduced a 10 year old boy to the wonders of spray whipped cream in a can.
Apparently I leave the house waaaaaaaaaaay more than last years count.
Did you know that you can get junk mail catalogues online {because THEN there won’t be any messy catalogues in my letter box…}
Our new, 3 doors down neighbour, has a preference for cheap pink champagne. Lots and lots and LOTS of cheap pink champagne.
I now have a large bowl of some weird disjointed shredded lettuce and noodle ’salad’ sitting in my kitchen.
And a loaf of bread.
And half a trifle.
And now, at 11.30pm on Friday the thirteenth – ooooooooooh ooooooooooh scary scary – we are watching Mythbusters and then having a Harry Potter a thon.
We are so hard core.
So, tell me, can anyone beat my mid November Christmas Party for getting in early? I bet you can’t.
Do you think they will throw in a packet of Powdered Sugar Tree seeds? Ommmm nommmm nommmm
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
You win. Christ, even your neighbours are freakazoids.
I’m partying on the inside.
With my dangly coloured Xmas ballz.
And my many fairy lights….my many, many, MANY fairy lights
Our Fiendesh Friday consists of Guitar Hero, Pizza and Wine.
That’s fucking hardcore, man!
You are the party QUEEN! You must be much nicer than me, because I don’t want people in my house.
Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Boycott
Yeah I can, but it’s not blogworthy. And that’s all that matters, yeah?
Geez no.
But we are planning something which may necessitate your trip to Qld …. http://www.bayuca.org.au/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=56&Itemid=58
an entire building full of Christmas trees (see the image gallery – it looks much better in real life though so you’ll *have* to come and see). BUT we’ve never had a bathroom tree so we need your skillz….
Now – go get the junk mail from your letterbox fergoodnessake (rolls eyes at control-freak neighbours you have).
Amanda´s last blog ..two more weeks
No, but my department at school is having its annual holiday feast on Monday…albeit a Thanksgiving one…we get to gorge ourselves on home made goodies starting at noon and ending around 5 ish….I’m wearing my elastic waist pants…no drinkypoos though ;P
I WANNA SEE THE TOILET TREE…bring er on!!!
Hotmamamia´s last blog ..Today, time is a good thing
Why oh why do people have street christmas parties?! I know all that community, it takes a villiage shit, but I prefer to fill my village with people I have chosen, based their sanity levels as a minimum. The people in my street are WHACK.
The Accidental Housewife´s last blog ..Bedroom Makeover Part Two
Damn you beat me – mine is in 2 weeks.
12ontheinside´s last blog ..Alternative Fun
Close, very close. We had last years court christmas party on the 23rd of November.
Somehow I don’t think there’ll be one here this year. What with dodgy neighbours who send over their lawnmowing man offering to do our lawns….
Kin´s last blog ..First day of school!
Yuck how bloody awful. I nearly beat you – “the girls” (ex-work mates) wanted to do a Christmas Lunch yesterday but I lied about pre-existing commitments (yes I know that lies make Baby Jesus cry but I don’t care). Its now all been postponed to later on this month as apparently my attendance was important (fuck it). Now I have to come down with some sort of temporary but virulent illness to avoid the next one. I need an illness that will prevent me from going out but not serious enough that I need a visit from any of the aforementioned “girls” – any ideas?
Jacinta´s last blog ..Currently reading …
You a bit of the strange stuff, Kelley.
I like ya.
Krissa´s last blog ..Dippy, disturbing, undomestic daughter… or Keelan.
Nope, you win that one hands down. Holy cow, your neighbours sound worse than mine, and mine is my Everybody Loves Raymond mother!
Mad Woman´s last blog ..To Write Love On Her Arms
I don’t do christmas parties. This year christmas can bugger off. I’m just not in the mood for it.
I’ve a song in my head…
‘..Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours…’
Martin´s last blog ..Stubbing toes on both left feet
Gee, Kelley, I had no idea you lived in my mother’s neighborhood! I say that cause she knows how many visitors each of her neighbors has, how often they leave their house, and if the old widowed guy across the street has dated anyone in the last month. Neighborhood Watch has nothing on her!
I guess next year someone will be having a Xmas party in January. I say, if you have so many committments that your holiday parties have to be so far away from the holiday, you need to simplify your life, somehow, some way. This Christmas stuff is getting waaaayyyyy out of hand. Hell, I don’t even put up a tree.
You win. I’m trying supa hard to get through November like a hermit, under the radar. I’m conserving energy to go all supernova in December, and then hibernate again in January. That’s the plan. Or bi-polar meds need tweeking, one or the other.
Deb on the Rocks´s last blog ..A Place for Everything
Pfft. WE had our staff xmas party (see, I can’t bring myself to type christmas .. damn.) … wait for it … in June! So nyah.
And I’m just commenting to see what the hacksters have done to my poor Kelley’s blog.
spotrick´s last blog ..Do music artists fare better in a world with illegal file-sharing? — Times Labs Blog
Ignore previous comment. I really should stay off the computer when the blahs have got hold of me.
I’m surprised you don’t also do the whole christmas in July thing. Think of it. You get to do all that yummy food and the fantastic decorating TWICE!!
That’s just awesome. I’m all for partying whenever the heck you feel like it… but I could do without 24 hour Christmas tunes that are already starting to show up on the radio…
Karen MEG´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Respect and Honour