So today was my first day back at work after the two weeks of MADNESS, MADNESS I SAY!
I was feeling rather sore and tired and a tad overwhelmed after the awesomeness of the parties of awesome, so as I wandered in I gave my usual greetings to ensure that the entire office was aware that I was finally back and they could commence fawning over me, and I surveyed the destruction of my desk where some fucker was sitting while I was gone.
Bitch stole my scissors. AND my favourite pen. And fuck me dead she adjusted my chair.
I was ready to cut a bitch. But I had no damn scissors.
Bitch.
As my fellow workers cowered at my wrath and pointed at each other for allowing some bitch to touch my shit, I spied a ‘private and confidential’ letter on my desk.
What the fuck?
I slashed open the letter, brandishing it in the general direction of my workmates, and settled down to read.
As I read a smile spread across my face. A self satisfied, about fucking time, smile.
People gathered around to see what changed my mood so quickly.
I got a pay rise. A performance based pay rise.
Because I am awesome.
And I have a piece of paper to prove it.
Awesome.
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
you should frame that so you can rub your families collective noses on it anytime they give you crap in future. Or workmates. Or well anyone
MistressB´s last blog ..Is it 2010 yet?
That is awesome indeed. That fucking rocks.
Now you can afford to visit Smiggle and get some new scissors to go all stabbity fuck with
That is so great! Awesomely done, Kelley!!! No, you are the queen of performance based awesome (yes, that is what she said).
Deidre´s last blog ..Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple streudels, Doorbells and sleighbells and whoa whoa whoa you’re telling me that’s NOT Yiddish for noodle pudding.
oh I forgot to tell you! Not only did I get a pay rise, but it has been backdated 3 MONTHS!
Awesome.
Well done Kel. That deserves some kickass shoe shopping.
You deserve every cent of it! They should have also given you that job that you were too awesome at as well.
Riayn´s last blog ..Curious Minds: A Day Off
Ah at last. Well done. Good things come to those who are awesome!
dizzymum´s last blog ..Waiwera Thermal Resort
Fekking Awesome!!!! Congrats…let go shopping.
Fucking awesome, and more than well-deserved!
New shoes anyone?
Robin from Israel´s last blog ..Sitting on the dock of the bay
AWESOME.
Amanda´s last blog ..two more weeks
Congrats!!! About friggin’ time!!
Mad Woman´s last blog ..Morning! So, who’s for snot flicking?!
About fuckin time! Yaay!
SHITE! Everything is going awesome:
Not getting rained out on Sat & now
a back-dated pay rise !!
Are you frightened that something bad will happen now LOL
Serious congrats to you – you deserve the best.
About *FUCKING* time they started to recognise teh awesome!!
Drovers Run´s last blog ..Big Plans: Let’s see if it happens!?
They obviously freaked out when they realised you weren’t there and the whole place was falling apart and shit without you. Way to show them they NEED you.
Bake them a cake. There will be more pay rises.
Del´s last blog ..Out of the feckin’ loop
YAY!!!!
Your first step in world domination is complete, now for stage 2 and the electric cattle prods of ticklish death….
Jayne´s last blog ..Melbourne Cup Day 2009 …here’s a tip….Save Yer Dosh!
Cool!! Hope some of it rubs off on me; I’ve recently asked Payroll why I wasn’t given my increments on time and they’re investigating. I want back pay, too! The increments aren’t performance-based though — that’s your department!
Chookie´s last blog ..Awakening of Cheerful Feelings Upon Arrival in the Country
That’s fabtastic Kelley! Congratulations
Oh cool!!! And you can take the lump sum back pay and buy some Crocs!!
lceel´s last blog ..Monday Meanders 11-2
Now that is awesomest of the awesomeness! I know how you feel, as I, FabGrandma, was the recipient of a cash award on my job. While it was NOT a pay raise, it was a little pile of extra money added to ONE paycheck as a token of their appreciation of ME! and I loved it. It was enough, to say, buy a new camera, maybe.
Karen´s last blog ..Louisiana, Mississippi, Still Going to Alabama…
Awesome. That is all.
You’re freaking awesome.
Also, I met you in my dream this morning? Why are you coming to me in my dreams?!
Awesome.
Miss Ash´s last blog ..Filled with Observations
lose a pen, gain some cash. sounds like a good trade
terena´s last blog ..Emily the Strange at 42
Heh. Pretty sure you didn’t need that piece of paper, sweetie.
Congratulations, Kelley!
Krissa´s last blog ..Rambling Confusion mistaken for formatted post.
Then you should throw another party to celebrate your undeniable awesomnicity.
Tara R.´s last blog ..The Dream of Life
I’m surprised there is enough money in the company to reward you for your awesomeness. I imagine it is a token gesture as if they truly paid you your full worth, there wouldn’t be enough money to pay for the scissor stealing bitch.
Copngrats Kells, now you can buy more shoes.
I thought you’d been fired?
Xbox4NappyRash´s last blog ..Absolutely flabulous
That’s fabulous! After everything the company put you through a while ago
LOVE it!
Jeanette´s last blog ..The Staal Family
Awesome. You rock, honey.
magpie´s last blog ..Let’s Review: The Prima Princessa Nutcracker
Your awesome has been proven.
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..It’s stupid hot here, and send your dismembered body parts for humping.
Simply, Awesome.
Talia´s last blog ..This is how my garden grows…
Congratulations! That’s fantastic!
Stimey´s last blog ..The Force Was Strong at My House
Yay! I’m thrilled for you.
Ali´s last blog ..It’s been one of those weeks that we just shouldn’t talk about
About fucking time they appreciated your awesomeness.
Ree´s last blog ..Haiku Saturday – The Answers, Part 2
Stumbled across your site whilst I was suppose to be behaving. Must say I like it! So glad those plebeians finally gave you the goods. .. and don’t let your lack of scissors keep you from cutting the whore, I advise using the letter opener. In my experience it works well.
jd´s last blog ..Malt-Whiskey and 13 Year Old Girls
Yay on the payrise! I have to say if my boss paid me rated on performance, I’d be taking home much less than the little I get now. I’d have to give up, oh, vegetables or something. Thank god for hourly rates.
Wooohoooo! About time someone (with access to funds) noticed
Of course, *we* all knew already, but we don’t have your bank account number.
Kate´s last blog ..Here comes trouble
Shit, that sounds like some awesome Norman Rockwell painting where everyone stands around Kelley and a yellow glow emerges from the envelope onto her face like she just saw the tooth fairy. Da-yum.
Audubon Ron´s last blog ..Gone Fishing
I didn’t even take the time to read all the comments casue you FUCKING EARNED AND DESERVE THIS…YES, way to go girl!
Hotmamamia´s last blog ..Tick tock, tick tock
You rock!
And it’s about time they noticed, too.
WhyMommy (Susan)´s last blog ..Bad day at the ER