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Girl be hardcore. Dude be eating glue.

by Kelley

in Flying thru the mayhem, proof yet again that I shouldn't be allowed on the internet unsupervised

I know you all (or y’all) been waiting with bated breath to find out how Too went with getting the piercings and whether I passed out.

industrial

tragusyes, one side of her hair is purple and one side is black.

She rocked out to some Marilyn Manson while having 10 foot needles shoved through her head.

To think I got a pony for my 16th birthday, when I totally could have had some dude with a ZZ Top beard pierce my delicate flesh with surgical steel… I had such a deprived childhood.

I must admit though, while I was desperately trying not to look and giving the role of loving mother holding her hand to some 17 year old chick with a bolt through her nose, I was very very tempted to get ‘fucking awesome’ tattooed across my arse.  If it wasn’t for the whole pain thing.  And the delicate flesh thing.  And bawling like a stuck pig when I get a paper cut, I would have totally done it.

But then again, who needs reminding?  Certainly no one that gets to see my arse that is.

So over the weekend while Too was all ‘Doesn’t hurt at all’ and flinching like a mofo whenever anyone came near her or a breeze rustled the trees, and I was running around like a slave to MPS for fathers day (and I say WHAT THE FUCK FUCK? YOU AIN’T MY FUCKING FATHER WHY AM I DOING THE MOTHERFUCKING DISHES & RUNNING AROUND AFTER YOUR DAMN KIDS?) Boo discovered a new food group.

Glue.

And the little darling (cause apparently if you call your kid a little shit or arsehole, even if they are totally being one, you are a bad parent and you shouldn’t be allowed on the internet unsupervised or some shit) has been gluing his lips together.

Which is rather peaceful cause there is a break from the new stim of shrieking ‘NOT YOU’ to no-one in particular over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER or singing ‘The Final Countdown’ which was cute the first bajillion times, a little bit annoying for the second bajillion times and then got kinda old.

When Kinda Old means ‘OMG please stop or I will have to stick my head in the oven’.

So I googled how many calories in glue and found that no, he won’t be able to live on a diet of glue alone.  Which is kinda disappointing being so damn convenient to just pop a couple of glue sticks in my bag for when he gets the munchies.  And it may just firm up those loose bowel movements that are oh so perfect for painting murals on the walls.

Win – Win I say.

*sigh*

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

1 spotrick September 8, 2009 at 12:24 am

I used to love that glue we had in primary school, that smelled like marzipan. But no, I did not eat it. (Maybe a taste.)

The whole bolt through the head thing? Ewwww!
.-= spotrick´s last blog ..Social Networking explained =-.

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2 Genaine September 8, 2009 at 1:10 am

OMG!! My mum would have never let me get a piercing like that. Then again, I probably wouldn’t have wanted it.

As for the glue…I knew plenty of kids who ate Clag at primary school and unfortunately they’re still with us.

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3 TipsyToes September 8, 2009 at 1:24 am

Perkins paste, in the little pink pots. Now that was the beat tasting glue at school. Clag, yuck ;-).

Def hard core with the piercings and yet still impressive.

As for you why would you, need a tat when awesomeness radiates from your every pore?

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4 Kimberlee September 8, 2009 at 1:55 am

I bet Too totally slept sitting up! That looks so cool, I think I might run out and get one. I kid, I kid. Seriously though, good thing you went with her and she didn’t sneak to get it without your permission. That’s trust right there, and its beautiful. 🙂

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5 Kimberlee September 8, 2009 at 2:06 am

I bet Too totally slept sitting up. It’s amazing that you took her to get peirced. Better than her sneaking and you being angry about it. That’s what I call trust and its a beautiful thing 🙂

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6 Xbox4NappyRash September 8, 2009 at 3:42 am

You’ve just reminded me about how I used to love eating matches.
.-= Xbox4NappyRash´s last blog ..Secrets – Part Two =-.

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7 Audubon Ron September 8, 2009 at 5:08 am

The Little Woman went through a phase of wanting a tattoo, until I suggested one on her butt the said, “Spank This.”
.-= Audubon Ron´s last blog ..Email to a Friend and Former Literature Professor =-.

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8 AmberDBTD September 8, 2009 at 6:09 am

XBox, I also used to eat the tips off matches. I was told it was some kind of biological need for sulphur?
.-= AmberDBTD´s last blog ..Sensory overload? =-.

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9 Xbox4NappyRash September 8, 2009 at 6:35 am

Yes! I loved the tips.

And to this day I will burn matches and inhale the sulphur smoke.

Explains a lot…
.-= Xbox4NappyRash´s last blog ..Secrets – Part Two =-.

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10 Jeanette September 8, 2009 at 7:39 am

That looks very sore!
As for the glue, Connor also thinks it’s a tasty treat atm! He seems ok… not panicking yet
.-= Jeanette´s last blog ..Pirates and witches =-.

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11 Jayne September 8, 2009 at 9:29 am

Is there wheat of some shape in that there glue?
Otherwise he’s well on the way to being garage band hard core dude.
.-= Jayne´s last blog ..September 8th =-.

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12 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] September 8, 2009 at 9:41 am

Mother
of
the
Year
.-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..Lazy. I is it. =-.

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13 Amanda September 8, 2009 at 12:35 pm

Leave the pain to Too – the fact that she told you she wanted some beareded bloke to pierce her skin AND you went with her and held her hand throughout the 10 foot needle experience SCREAMS that her Mum is F-ing awesome.
…and you might get away with putting mashed potato in glue pots to increase the food value for Boo.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..nervous wreck =-.

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14 Krissa September 8, 2009 at 12:49 pm

And I was just thinking that eating glue would surely slow down the whole poop process, I mean you know, being glue and all, thus with-holding craft supplies for the next artistic poop-n-paint exhibition.
Well, one can hope! 😉
.-= Krissa´s last blog ..My Aunts, part two. =-.

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15 Deidre September 8, 2009 at 2:02 pm

I have and uncle who eats candle wax.

That’s pretty much all i have to lend to this conversation.
.-= Deidre´s last blog ..A Note to James Blake =-.

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16 Chookie September 8, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Haven’t been this pierced for years…

Wonder what Boo likes about glue — texture?
.-= Chookie´s last blog ..Small Miracles =-.

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17 shelly September 8, 2009 at 5:47 pm

I also ate matches. Light them and eat the black bit..Mmmmm…burnt matches. I also think its fine if you call your kid a little shit.
As long as they dont hear you. I do it. ; )
THe piercing!! OUCH!!!.. Brave girl!
.-= shelly´s last blog ..DOG SHIT SINKS. =-.

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18 river September 8, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Ow! ow ow ow ow…….so how did she sleep? Has she caught her comb in it yet?

I must be the only person I know who never ate or even tasted glue. I did paint my hands with it, then peel it off in one big piece once it was dry.

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19 Vic September 8, 2009 at 9:34 pm

You should get fucking awsome tattooed across your arse and then start wearing very low slung trousers. Just to remind the world.
.-= Vic´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday: List of Five =-.

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20 MistressB September 9, 2009 at 2:34 am

ouch ouch ouch.

Does one really have to have ten inch needles pierced through one’s skin to prove one’s hardcoreness?

seems a little insane to me.

And werewolves don’t eat glue, they eat…… people.
.-= MistressB´s last blog ..Simple Pleasures Sunday =-.

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21 lceel September 9, 2009 at 6:06 am

I assume he’s eating Elmer’s – or White Glue, as some call it. Cause if it was Crazy Glue you could wind up with all KINDS of problems – fingers stuck to lips, lips sstuck to lips, lips stuck to teeth stuck to tongue, butt hole clogged – and when that is cured, possibly butt cheeks stuck together – which makes it really hard to wipe.

Gaw, I hope it’s White Glue – because that other shit would just make the whole thing too hilarious.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Tuesday Tale – Inferno =-.

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22 Gilz September 9, 2009 at 7:25 am

FUCK! next she’ll be gettin’ her nipples done.
.-= Gilz´s last blog ..Gary: The Tooth Fairy 2 and 3 =-.

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23 Burgh Baby September 9, 2009 at 7:31 am

BEST TITLE EVER!

Just looking at those pics makes me want to go sit in the corner and sob like a baby. OUCH!
.-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..The Adventures of Mr. Moth =-.

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24 Ree September 9, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Hell, I passed out when my MOTHER got her ears pierced. And those were just normal little holes – one in each ear.

Shudder.
.-= Ree´s last blog ..Weekend Update =-.

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25 Hotmamamia September 11, 2009 at 3:50 am

Gag….those types of piercings really do make me gag…oh well, this too shall pass…

I used to LOVE to eat Elmer’s school paste…would scoop it out of the jar and eat it like peanut butter…erm, maybe that explains a thing or two about me…..(it was sweet and creamy tasting…what can I say?!)
.-= Hotmamamia´s last blog ..OMG, not AGAIN!?! =-.

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26 Wineplz September 11, 2009 at 5:19 am

Whoa. You weren’t kidding when you said hardcore. I could never do a piercing like that…let alone two! Though the whimpering when a breeze blows is kinda funny.

As for Boo and his glue? Can’t fault him–it seems to be a secret food group. My godson ate an entire gluestick the other day. My cousin didn’t notice until she saw something bright purple in the corners of his mouth and lost her mind. I told her that obviously he had just done it since the glue hadn’t gotten a chance to “dry clear”, so she would have to wait for a long time to see how it came out the other end. I, on the otherhand, used to nibble on dried Elmer’s glue when I was about 5 or 6. Not paste, but good ol’ Elmer’s.
.-= Wineplz´s last blog ..Got Those Pics =-.

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27 Kim September 15, 2009 at 2:50 am

And this is why I so love your blog.
The glue diet.
Maybe that will get rid of my arse.
.-= Kim´s last blog ..Breast Cancer Sucks but maybe we can make a difference.. =-.

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Previous post: My daughter is totally hard core. She gets it from her mother. When hard core means totally fucking wimp that cries from a papercut. Perhaps not, but she definately doesn’t get it from her father. Whoever he is.

Next post: The inferiority of women. Happy Birthday baby girl.

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