I know you all (or y’all) been waiting with bated breath to find out how Too went with getting the piercings and whether I passed out.
She rocked out to some Marilyn Manson while having 10 foot needles shoved through her head.
To think I got a pony for my 16th birthday, when I totally could have had some dude with a ZZ Top beard pierce my delicate flesh with surgical steel… I had such a deprived childhood.
I must admit though, while I was desperately trying not to look and giving the role of loving mother holding her hand to some 17 year old chick with a bolt through her nose, I was very very tempted to get ‘fucking awesome’ tattooed across my arse. If it wasn’t for the whole pain thing. And the delicate flesh thing. And bawling like a stuck pig when I get a paper cut, I would have totally done it.
But then again, who needs reminding? Certainly no one that gets to see my arse that is.
So over the weekend while Too was all ‘Doesn’t hurt at all’ and flinching like a mofo whenever anyone came near her or a breeze rustled the trees, and I was running around like a slave to MPS for fathers day (and I say WHAT THE FUCK FUCK? YOU AIN’T MY FUCKING FATHER WHY AM I DOING THE MOTHERFUCKING DISHES & RUNNING AROUND AFTER YOUR DAMN KIDS?) Boo discovered a new food group.
And the little darling (cause apparently if you call your kid a little shit or arsehole, even if they are totally being one, you are a bad parent and you shouldn’t be allowed on the internet unsupervised or some shit) has been gluing his lips together.
Which is rather peaceful cause there is a break from the new stim of shrieking ‘NOT YOU’ to no-one in particular over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER or singing ‘The Final Countdown’ which was cute the first bajillion times, a little bit annoying for the second bajillion times and then got kinda old.
When Kinda Old means ‘OMG please stop or I will have to stick my head in the oven’.
So I googled how many calories in glue and found that no, he won’t be able to live on a diet of glue alone. Which is kinda disappointing being so damn convenient to just pop a couple of glue sticks in my bag for when he gets the munchies. And it may just firm up those loose bowel movements that are oh so perfect for painting murals on the walls.
Win – Win I say.