Didn’t that last post look blissful?
The room service was awesome (except for the broken table…) and the bed was exquisite.
I posted that pic in the hopes that the worst of the weekend was behind us. Alas it wasn’t.
Sofitel Melbourne sucks.
We arrived at the hotel and parked our 10 year old car next to brand new BMW’s and Jag’s and immaculately restored collectors cars. Wandered around for a while wondering where the fuck to go.
Eventually we found an elevator and as the doors opened a porter stepped out. This girl was wonderful, apologising profusely for us not being met. Taking our keys, organising the valet and then escorting us to reception.
All the while apologising for the inconvenience of it all.
Katherine made us feel a million dollars. We looked at each other thinking this is going to be fucking AWESOME!
Standing in the opulent lobby we were attended to by the receptionist who informed us that we were to go upstairs to Club Sofitel on the 35th floor, ‘have a drink with Tony’ while our bags were brought up.
We arrived at the 35th floor to find it empty. Standing around for over 15minutes before anyone turned up. Given our room key and informed that we should have received a letter explaining the benefits of ‘Club Sofitel’ and welcoming us.
Okay… well we didn’t.
She printed off the welcome letter, addressed to ‘Mrs Britton’ (???) and then gave us our room key.
We wandered off to find the room. Still with a spring in our step, cause hey they could be busy.
The key didn’t work.
We found a porter, Anthony (the wonderful, helpful, gorgeous Anthony) who let us in and then answered all our questions about this supposed ‘luxury suite’ that was the size of a dog box, covered in dust and the paint was peeling off the walls.
He, like Katherine before him, apologised profusely and tried to help the best he could. MPS ended up having to call reception to find out what was going on.
AN HOUR LATER, and after numerous calls with very rude managers we were in a room that was kinda sorta what we paid for but by this time I was a mess, sobbing in the bathroom WITHOUT A BATH, while MPS was fuming in the room trying to make it all better.
So our plans for Friday were shot. Too late to go and see the Salvator Dali exhibition. So we decided to just order some room service and wander around naked for a while.
As you do. Cause after almost 18 years of humans you created invading your space you want a little naked wandering action.
After dinner we drank some milk and read the bible for a while.
Saturday morning I finally surfaced around midday. MPS had been up for hours, even been downstairs for breakfast. We ordered room service breakfast
OMG $94 for breakfast, but dude SOOOOO worth it. MMMMMMM
and then wandered around the city for a while sampling handmade chocolates and reminiscing.
Back to the room for a quick change to go down stairs to Club Sofitel for drinks and canapes. I may have drank a little too much a little too quickly and we had to retire to our room early.
You know, for more milk and bible reading. *wink*
The next morning the bill for our stay was under the door. Without the second night accommodation charge. We were impressed. Finally they had acknowledged their fuck ups at the start of our stay (we had since discovered that the coffee machine we were supposed to have in the room was missing, there were no ice cubes and the luxury bathrobes were stiff and rougher than sandpaper. And I suppose they were redundant due to the LACK OF FUCKING BATH! No. I will not let that one go) and even though there was no communication nor apology, this was more than adequate compensation.
We decided to take the late checkout option, even though we tried to book it initially AND when we booked in, and MPS called reception to tell them.
So we had some breakfast and wandered around the room naked, when the housekeeper walked in.
We quickly covered up, a bit pissed off cause if we wanted someone to walk in on us we could have just stayed HOME, MPS explained to the housekeeper that we were staying until 2pm so could she please, um… LEAVE, and we were all what the fuck is wrong with these people? How hard is it for housekeeping to be kept in the loop? I mean if the room is still occupied and the people not checked out then HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO TELL THE HOUSEKEEPER NOT TO WALK IN!?!?!?!?!
Fuck. Me. Dead.
We still had a couple of hours left so we decided to relax a bit before the long drive home, and find a little more religion… *wink*
And the housekeeper walked in.
For the SECOND time.
And that was it. We got dressed. Packed up and left.
We went and paid the bill. And the bill that was put under our door. The bill that had ‘account closed’ on it. Was WRONG. And the second night accommodation was added. Not to mention the additional costs for parking (there was NO FUCKING MENTION that it was going to cost $76 for parking) the internet access that was wired and not wireless as we were assured cost more than we were quoted and we left the Sofitel with a bad taste in our mouths.
And more stressed and tired than when we got there.
Sure, the hotel did not know the planning and stress that went into leaving our disabled child at home with a carer. They did not know that we haven’t had a decent nights sleep in years. They did not know that I had a stroke and my neurologist insisted that I take some time away to relax and de-stress. They did not know that MPS and I separated a few months ago and needed this time to try and rekindle our relationship.
Sure they did not know these things, but that is not the point.
This hotel touts itself as a 5 star hotel. With luxury rooms. We could have taken the kids to my parents for 2 nights and saved ourselves over a thousand dollars and got more privacy. And better treatment.
The porters we dealt with were amazing. The management were horrendous. The room booking system was atrocious. The communication between staff and with the customers was sorely lacking.
We are disappointed and sad. A weekend that we were so looking forward to descended into chaos whenever we had to deal with the hotel.
Sofitel Melbourne can suck it.
But at least I found religion. Multiple religion. *snigger*Magnetoboldtoo is sponsored by: