Alexander is the head shrinker I have been seeing.
Alexander tells me that I am fascinating.
Alexander tells me that I am one of those people who just cope no matter what life throws that them.
Alexander tells me that I tend to cope by using humour and sarcasm to hide my stress.
Alexander tells me that I have to tell people about my pain and not try and be super woman.
Because Alexander tells me that unless I do I am on a fast track to losing my fucking mind or stroking out again.
Which, alas, makes me think of this song, which makes me giggle and there we go with the coping with humour thing.
And then Alexander tells me that means I am trying to hide.
Hide from myself.
Alexander tells me that my cup is full. That I am about to overflow.
That I am close. Oh so close to breakdown.
He sees through the façade. It is in my eyes, Alexander says.
That bubble in my chest, that fluttering feeling in my heart, the lightheadedness, is all my body trying to say
Stop. Just stop. Breathe. Just breathe.
The dream of sleeping for two days is not just a nice to have. It is a necessity. A requirement.
For my health. For my sanity.
This scares me. I am not infallible. I can no longer just suck it up.
I need to stop. I need to breathe.
I need to sleep.
So I pray to the heavens, or the Goddess, or ceiling cat, that my parents will take Boo for 2 days. Two nights.
So I can breathe. And get back to being me.
{ 57 comments }
Alexander sounds like a wise man. I hope you get a break.
Kate’s last blog post..Swapsies
All hail Alexander. Praying your parents can take Boo.
I’ll pray to the heavens too and we’ll see what we can do.
Yay for Alexander. He sounds like a good dude.
Deeleea’s last blog post..Girls’ Night
Alexander hey? Does he have an accent? Is he cute? Tell me more about this Alexander…
Take time. Breathe. (((hugs)))
Veronica’s last blog post..Daily Life
Put boo in the car and drop him there. Say ‘hi mum, see you in two days’, turn around and leave.
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..Into the wild
Praying that your folks take Boo for a few days.
Amanda’s last blog post..Twilight was Twaddle
I like the sound of this Alexander person, he speaks the truth.
I really hope your parents will give you the break you deserve.
Riayn’s last blog post..Songs to Run To
chick: it is a matter of life and death
and now you have a shrink to prove it
your parents HAVE to take Boo
for at least a week
or think of the guilt trip you can lay on them
for ever after.
amen.
(wait: don’t you think about it actually. let them think about it while they’re looking after Boo and you’re NOT THINKING ABOUT SHIT)
Sammi’s last blog post..A big steaming pile of…
I hope they do too.
And when they do… don’t be productive and try and DO stuff. Just mooch around in your pjs and take a nanna nap whenever the fancy strikes.
Lord knows that’s what I do when I have a child-free weekend and it’s towards the end of term.
Frogdancer’s last blog post..My students are working. (Some of them…)
Listen to AlexMan
Gilz’s last blog post..August issue of "Baba En Kleuter" starring our very own Megan
I just LOVE Alexanders. They are usually a bit random but can do that oracle thing where they just blurt out, like, truth in all its pure and blinding state.
If your parents even try and dodge this one, just chuck a Boo-style tantrum. Get them crying. And then get up off the floor and say, Hello and welcome to why I had a stroke.
estelle’s last blog post..Nice Weather We`re Having….
I’ve gotta go with Alexander on this one my friend. It’s time to take care of you.
If your parents won’t/can’t take Boo, what about hiring his school aide to watch him for the weekend? Or is there some kind of in-home respite care – minimize disruption for Boo and give you the perfect excuse to lie around that swanky hotel watching movies and ordering room service for the weekend.
Love you babe. Lots.
Robin’s last blog post..Pink Hibiscus
Nervous breakdown is not a diagnosis and is not in the DSMV. Alexander needs to reevaluate. I know he never used the term “breakdown.” There is no such thing.
Just from here I can see you’re bidirectional with schizophuckenphrenia, panic, hyperexpensive hotel deprivation disorder. It’s common. However, it’s an itch you can never scratch.
Even I know two days won’t do it. Three days, minimums might, I say might, help.
Here is what you do. I call it the hot/cold, sweet/sour, therapy. Take two aspirin, then take your right foot and pull it up to the back of your right ear, leave it there 20 minutes. Then take a shotgun, 12 gauge, and fire off exactly four boxes of shells, one right after the other. Then go stand next to a busy freeway and yell at cars and cuss-out as many drivers as you can for 15 minutes. Flipping birds is acceptable. Make sure to journal what you said and why. We will need to analyze that later. Then eat two vanilla ice-cream cones. Then go to a busy gas station and wait for the first car that drives up playing loud rap. While the driver is pumping gas, take his keys and throw them on the roof of the gas station. That’s for me, I hate loud rap. Then pick up the damn phone and call someone to take junior. Call the hotel and check in. Try and scratch the itch.
On the third day you will say, “Shit, this didn’t work.” I’ll be here going, “Shit, I told you so.” Even the little phucking chocolates on the pillow at night almost made it, but didn’t work.
The only real known cure is to come here to Mississippi or read my blog regularly.
Hey, you wanted to be a rock star.
I hope you get your break.
Bec’s last blog post..Obliviate! The tale of the disappearing post
Listen to Alexander, he seems to know what’s what. I really hope your parents can take Boo, and not just this once either. You need more breaks to just veg out and sleep and Boo needs more time with other people, just to get used to it and to learn that there are others out there who he can learn to trust.
Really hope you manage to get a break – you are totally fucking awesome Kelly, and sleep will make you even more-so!
Marylin’s last blog post..My beautiful baby boy
I think Audubon Ron’s comments were great advice – particularly the part about throwing someone’s keys on top of the gas station…omg wouldn’t that feel AWESOME?? Especially if it was someone who had pissed you off in traffic. I would highly suggest that, if I had thought of it first.
I hope your parents help you out.
Alexander has been reading my emails to you? Because I said it first. Oh, right, your stroke brain has CRS (Can’t Remember Shit) Now it’s official, can you make it happen?
witchypoo’s last blog post..Mocking my Dead Mother
Oh Kelley. Let everyone else worry about the details of how to make it happen. Just relax. Please take care.
Ali’s last blog post..Time loss
Let the floodgates open, Kelly. There’s plenty of time for laughing and jokes afterward.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, that post hit pretty close to home so I have to go find my whoopie cushion so I can put it on the desk chair at his office. ‘Cuz I ain’t ready to stop hiding.
mama edge’s last blog post..Me krechts, me geht veyter*
I like this guy. I like him a lot.
Take care of yourself babe, seriously.
Sarah’s last blog post..Thanks Teena!
You know what? – Let Alexander take Boo for a couple of days.
You are incredible. You ARE infallible. You need, perhaps, to learn how to relax when the opportunity presents itself. Learn yoga. Or learn meditation techniques. They say 15 minutes of meditation is worth hours of sleep. Learn a good breathing technique for relaxation – taking a deep breath and letting it out real slow (6 seconds) several times in succession will help you relax and lower your blood pressure.
Don’t let this guy tell you you’re all fucked up. It ain’t true and never was. You have stress – there are ways to handle stress without having some high and mighty psy guy tell you you’re going crazy.
lceel’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Happy Birthday, Grannie
What a sensible fellow.
Terrifying isn’t it? The prospect of losing your shield. The mask. Fighting your way back to the you inside (I bet she’s even more freakin awesome).
Scary but necessary, this ‘break’. It may open a few other people’s eyes too. That would not be a bad thing.
Smooches and Clinkers, hon. You may cry a bit, and feel really vulnerable. Take tissues. Stay warm. You’re allowed to keep your sense of humour, just lose a few points off the blood pressure.
Thinking of you, sending warm vibes
Laura’s last blog post..Multitasking
I had an Alexander in my life once–he was very much like your Alexander, and told me some of the same things. He is so right–get your time, sleep, do whatever you need to do to get yourself a break.
Karen’s last blog post..Remember Whensday
but if they take away our coping mechanisms then how are we meant to cope?
Fake the breakdown before making MPS ask them to take him cos “Kells has lost the plots” – MOTY won’t be able to say no then
Or you could go back to the original plan of quarantening the house (with you in it) while all the kids are at school…..
Mistress B’s last blog post..Shock
Shit. I am in the same place, sans stroke. And perhaps (?) on different meds. I need to find an Alexander, stat.
pixiemama’s last blog post..just keep breathing
And since when is humor not an appropriate coping mechanism? WTF? I mean, I totally dig the guy’s suggestion of 2 days’ sleep, but hiding behind humor is a girl’s best (and sometimes only) friend!
pixiemama’s last blog post..just keep breathing
Take care and listen to Alexander.
Even Superwoman needs a break.
Tammy’s last blog post..Greetings From the House of Hormones
Alexander sounds like a genius. He also sounds like a man who can wear white linen pants and not look girly.
Dingo’s last blog post..This Week’s Short List of People Who Piss Me Off
Sounds like Alexander is one smart cookie!
Hoping you get the rest you need. See you on the other side!!
Suzy Voices’s last blog post..Proof That I’m Not Illiterate
I’d get Alexander to write a sick note to your mother. “Take care of you.” (Name that movie.)
(And, no, I’m not trying to compare us to a couple of hookers, even hot ones…)
Big hugs from afar!
Lynn (Walking With Scissors)’s last blog post..And I thought my days of book-report-writing were long over…
I wish I could help. I’m glad you’ve got Alexander.
magpie’s last blog post..Garden Hopping with Nora and De
Alexander sounds like a fvery wise man. I hope you can make arrangements for Boo!
That Alexander doesn’t sound half bad! He seems very perceptive. If you trust him, (and I am guessing you do since you have been seeing him for a while I take it), you need to find a way to follow his advise.
If you were to turn inward a bit and rant and scream and claw here, you know your intertoobe friends will understand and support you. So do it.
Krissa’s last blog post..Stupid Criminals part 2: John in high speed pursuit!
O Almighty Ceiling Cat, please harken my plea that Kelley’s parents taketh Boo and leaveth Kelley to a time of peaceful slumber. Not, uh, eternal slumber, Almighty Ceiling Cat, just two day’s worth.
I shalt prepare an altar to you, O Ceiling Cat, comprised of Tender Vittles, one dead mouse, fresh catnip, and various pleasing kitty toys in order for you to expedite my request.
Amen.
Love you Kelley.
Gina’s last blog post..Music Monday
You poor dear. Hang in there!! You will be okay!!
People are like gas tanks. The gauge may read Empty, but there’s always a reserve there, just to get you to the next place to re-fuel.
You will be well.
Veronica’s last blog post..Like Gloria Gaynor, Motherfucker: "I Will Survive!"
With all due respect, while Alexander may have hit the nail on the head, what else are you supposed to do?
Reality is, majority of people will not take a child who is wired or different into their home. If your life has been anything like ours, until recently, playdates were a one way thing (our place) and on the rare time it was reciprocated, I could not drop the kids off, I had to stay.
The buck stops with us, the mothers. In an ideal world, the village would rally around us to help raise our precious children, but hey, guess what, they don’t. Instead we are treated like lepers.
And it sounds like you have done what I and a number of mothers in our postition do. We suck it up, and we get on with it,regardless of what our body is telling us, because if we don’t,no one else will.
And THEN we get told, we need to let go and not be so controlling and accept help from the invisible people that are offering help (coz they are all lined up outside your door don’t you know, you just can’t see them)
Yes Alexander might be right. And if I lived near you, I wouldn’t be invisible.
Hope you get the time you need to take care of you.
And hey, maybe, hiring someone for Boo through respite care that gets hoodwinked by him coz he is such a clever wee fella is ok for a few hours if it means you getting some you time.
Much lvoe.
WiddleShamrock’s last blog post..Grinding lizard’s tails……..
You need to LISTEN to Alexander. Take it from someone who has been there, done that… You. Do. Not. Want. To. Push. Your. Body. To. A. Breakdown. It hurts!!!! A LOT!!!! And takes a LONG time to recover from!!!
Listen to ME!!!! Cos I’ve taken time from my beautiful Queensland wanderings to visit and tell you this (which I know you already know – you’re just like me and hoping you’re kind of wrong and it’ll all disappear if you push hard enough).
{{{HUGS}}}
Lightening’s last blog post..Rockhampton
Alexander is wise, wise man. Good luck with the grans babysitting and sweet dreams.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Common blog post
Lightening is right. She knows, and you know that she knows. She knows cause she has been there and she knows you too.
Please look after yourself. If your parents can’t take Boo, leave him at home with MPS and take off by yourself for a couple of days. Or with a close friend.
They survived while you were in hospital didn’t they??? Apparently cause you still talk about them
So, they will survive while you go away for a couple of days.
Just. Do. It
Hey Kel…I hope so too, for your sake…regardless of whether or not Alexander tells you so, it sounds like you know it, in your head, that it’s necessary.
Ree’s last blog post..Honest Rebellion
1.Nail doors and windows shut.
2.Glue Boo’s clothes on him.
3.Lock MPS inside the house.
4.Run away for 3 days.
5.Have a bloody good time.
Jayne’s last blog post..July 16…until midnight
And tell Alexander to find you a good respite carer so that you get more than 2 nights sleep in the foreseeable future.
You need things set up for regulare breaks where you feel comfortable and assured that everything is under control.
Mistress B’s last blog post..Shock
Alexander sounds like a pretty smart dude, and he’d probably say all the same things to me. I hope you have people around you that can help with this stuff…..
Mad Woman’s last blog post..Random Tuesday
yes.
to everything alexander said…
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Ask not what your hearing aid can do for you …
Another vote for you and all your loved ones to listen to Alexander!
One of the important parts of motherhood is becoming strong enough to admit you need help. And then going out, finding the help, clubbing it over the head and dragging it back to your cave by the hair.
Chookie’s last blog post..First Frost, and Other Blighted Hopes
You deserve it, just as much as you need it.
Alexander is very wise.
Hoping you get that break and more.
Momisodes’s last blog post..Open mouth, insert foot
I hope you listen to Alexander and all these wise commenters here.
Tee aka The Diva’s Thoughts’s last blog post..My Personal PSA…of sorts
I feel like I should pay Alexander my $20 insurance co-payment. You and me? We sound a lot alike. Hugs, hun.
foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)’s last blog post..that’s what you get for wakin’ up in the suburbs*
You need and deserve a break, and we all want you to take care of yourself. (Hugs)
Rachael’s last blog post..SYTYCD Top 10: Performance Recap
Hmmm. honey last time you talked about going away you decided MPS was necessary. Now your parents are necessary.
What is necessary? That YOU have regular breaks. First one is URGENT and you should go tonight for the weekend, by yourself and let MPS and the prodigal daughters sort it out. like Gemisht said they all managed to stay alive when you went to hospital, even with (it has since come to light) ninja infiltration.
And from then on, regularly you need breaks – ideally with MPS’s company. And you need some way of keeping Boo safe while you are away.
http://www9.health.gov.au/ccsd/index.cfm
He doesn’t need to like it, because we are talking about two alternatives. Either you get away and regenerate or you don’t and you burn out. He is better off in the second scenario.
there isn’t any grey area here. And praying for MOTY seems hmmm unreliable.
Tell Boo that he is going on a special vacation and have MPS take him to your parents…for that matter, take Moo and Too as well. CLEAR OUT THE HOUSE so you can have the time to yourself to sleep, soak in a tub, be a semi-relaxed human being. Listen to Alexander…you DO NOT have to and SHOULD NOT have to do this alone.
I am sending every positive vibe I have in my body your way and telepathically telling your folks to get their asses in gear and take care of business.
Hotmamamia’s last blog post..Head west young woman!
Glad you have someone with insight with you, keeping an eye on you. [wish I did too!] So what do you think? Respite? Here’s hoping. Whizzing you a burst of positive energy. [maybe you could whizz me some back?]
Cheers
Maddy’s last blog post..Night time interlopers
Humour as a coping mechanism? Nope not heard of that approach.
Hope you manage to get your break. Take care.
womb for improvement’s last blog post..An auspicious day?*
I concur with all these people…Alexander sounds like a keeper.
Deidre’s last blog post..No, What happened to Saturday?
Alexander knows his stuff. Hope you get that rest my friend.
PS In all the time I have been reading you, I think this is my favourite post because it’s just you as you are.
Yep- Alexander is about as good a shrink as I am! Gotta get away from that awesome little terror Boo, or you won’t be able to enjoy him in a few years time… Everything in moderation dear, except moderation- of which you can have squillions of gallons! Keep those lil blood vessels strong-walled and elastic with nice vitamins and very little alcohols… and do A LOT more exercise than I do (wouldn’t be difficult)- but only for long periods in MODERATION, NOT short bursts of humongous effort! I you can actually achieve any of this, please let me know your secret! Have a great time away!
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