So I was sitting here, all innocent twittering about the ENORMOUS spider that greeted me in the hallway this morning that MPS disposed of by flushing it down the toilet and I am too scared to go to either loo cause what if the fucker is like that puppy in the UK that the kid flushed and it lived and then it would crawl up the bowl and bite me on the derrière and OMG I wonder if Boo’s nappies will fit me or maybe I should just go find a clean public toilet which is totally an oxymoron and I love that word, when I got a phone call from the girls school.
First of all a little background. For those not in Australia, the majority of schools require that kids wear school uniform. I love this because not only does it save a boat load of money but it just saves the hassles of early morning ‘where is my?’ crap. If your child needs to be out of uniform for any reason, a note needs to be sent to school. Too has been wearing jeans to school and told us, when confronted, that it is fine…
You can see where I am going with this, right?
Long story short, Too has been producing a note for being out of uniform EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR OVER A MONTH.
A note that I haven’t written. Nor has her father. But we have signed…
As the notes have been getting more and more bizarre, the school decided to give me a call.
Apparently they start off plausible enough with ‘Due to the situation at home…’ probably a letter that was written in March when I was in hospital and the people that live with me thought that I took the washing machine with me or something… meh.
But todays note? Todays note had them wondering because apparently…
Ninja stole her uniform.
(don’t forget peeps, don’t be pluralising the Ninja. They will go all crazy on yo arse)
After I regained my composure, I promised to deal with the situation tonight and hung up.
I immediately called MPS to ask if he had been writing notes for Too. He had not, but when he told his workmates of our daughters forgery and deception, they gave her a standing ovation.
Now I have to deal with this when she gets home. With a straight face.
I am considering going into her room and removing everything BUT her school uniform.
Sorry Too, ninja stole your bedroom.